When do men get broody?

[Shaz]

Hi everyone. Not sure if I should be posting this here, but thought I would ask for some advice, so hope you don't mind.

How old were your partners/husbands before they were "ready" to start a family. My problem is that I'm 30, and I really want to have a baby. But, if I mention it to my partner (of 3.5 years), I either get silence, or if I really push, something like "I don't want to think about it yet". It is starting to really upset me. He is a year older than me. I thought men usually start to get broody at this age too.

Part of me thinks he's being unfair and selfish, and part of me thinks I'm the one being unfair and selfish. Do some men just never want children? Everything else between is great, so I don't think I could split up over it. But then again, with time, maybe I'll resent him more and more if he keeps saying no.

Sorry to sound depressing! Just wanted to get your thoughts.

Sharon.

 

[amynicole]

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Nov-08-02 AT 10:12AM (Est)[/font][p]Hi Sharon,
I think its different with each man. My husband proposed to me a month before his 30th birthday because HE got the desire for kids and wanted to be married first. I was 25 and not quite ready for kids but definately ready for a lifetime commitment to my sweetie so I said yes.


We got married 7 months later and I got pregnant 7 months after we were married and I had my first baby at 27, he was 31.

I think asking when a man will be ready is very subjective thing. Just like some women never want kids.

But YES there are men who want babies. I have 3 kids now and EACH one of them my DH was more anxious for me to get pregnant than I was. He practically begged me to say yes to a third baby.

I hope you get what it is you want soon

Marci

 

[gina]

Just an idea--I could be way off base-- Maybe it isn't so much that he doesn't WANT to have a baby. But maybe as the man, he is concerned about failing to properly care for it. For example, if you guys are just making it in the money scene, maybe he is afraid he won't be able to afford one. Or maybe he is afraid he won't have any natural urges to hold it and play with it. In other words, maybe some sort of masculine ego is preventing him from owning up to his fears and getting passed them.

Another idea--maybe he is still trying to accomplish some of hiw own goals. My husband wanted a baby back when we were in our mid 20's. At that time I was in graduate school and wanted to wait. When I finished and wanted one, he had by this time returned for his degree and wanted to wait. So, now in our early 30's, he will be finished in April and we are now expecting our first. Maybe your "partner" wants to wait for marriage???

It is good that you are thinking about this and contemplating your priorities. I hope you guys make the best decision for yourselves in the end.

Gina

Or, S