Whats wrong with me ?

R

runner2

Cathlete
Anyone who has an answer to this please let me know:
Every morning I wake up.Today is the day that I will watch what goes into my mouth,I will have a good workout and I will feel good about myself at the end of that day! By the time the day ends I feel even worse then I did when I got up.The exercise wasn't the problem but the foolish eating in between as blown my calorie count way out of the water.x(
Example: I am going to be a good girl today.Then I decide to make muffins.Who for? I am the only one in the house who is going to eat them.I make the muffins,I dip my finger around the sides of the bowl,I have a couple dips of the icing, I pick at a muffin that falls apart, then I make a muffin fall apart.By the time I am finished I have eaten about 2 muffins.But I would never sit and eat two muffins.I think somewhere along the way I got the idea in my head that it is o.k to pick at food as long as you don't eat the whole thing.That way it doesn't count.But if you put all of the things together that I just ate...then I would probably have a cake in my stomach.The end result:me kicking myself in the a$$ for being a big enough idiot to make the muffins in the first place.
Then I have been a good girl right up until my last meal,do I feel like I need dessert? No.But do I have a little bit of something...yes.I will have a couple of smarties,a pick at a half moon,a couple choc covered pretzels.Do you get what I am saying? Not one serving of those actual foods.Just a pick at each,which ends up being...ALOT.
Does anyone else think that there is something wrong with me? No doubt that this food pattern MUST be broken.But where do I find the motivation to say ,THATS ENOUGH! As I sit here with muffins in my belly,I could cry.I did my cardio today and it was a good one, then I do something like this to my body.Where did I get myself? I didn't burn anymore calories ,I just ate more.
This eating pattern as made all of my pants to tight and then I get reminded everyday when I look in the mirror and promise myself that I will fix the problem.But then I won't I will continue to make muffins
;(
Runner2
 
You are being so hard on yourself - we all have days like that!

I don't have THE answer, because there are some days where you really REALLY just want the muffin. But, on days where there might be some wiggle room, maybe you could try feeding your body a good, healthy snack, then try to stay out of the kitchen. It is the same in my house, with the muffins...if I make them, I am the only one who will eat them, so I try not to make them. But when I do make them, I try to make them as healthy as possible, have my serving, then freeze the rest.

The muffin recipe I like to make I actually got from this forum - it had flaxseed in it. I can try to find it if you want, or you can do a search and see if it is still around. They were very healthy, and delicious!

It is a continuous process, I think, this trying to eat healthy thing! Just keep plugging away at it, making the healthiest choice you can, and don't beat yourself up too much. If you have too many muffins at one sitting, have a nice big salad for the next meal, without any bread or crackers to go with it. Try to balance it out.

Don't be too hard on yourself! We all have a food demons!

Rhonda
 
I wish I had an answer for you.
Just wanted to say that what you described is EXACTLY what I go through. I tell myself every day that today will be a good eating day. The workout part is not a problem, but the eating is usually an issue.
Katia
 
I believe the problems arise from
1. Not eating enough
2. Not eating a wide variety of foods, including treats in moderation
3. Fluctuating levels of hunger/monthly cycles
4. Not eating regularly enough
5. Overuse of supplements, protein shakes etc and not enough real food.
I have had this problem too, at varying times and have come to the above conclusions.

I have been lurking around this forum and sometimes find the attitudes to eating worrisome.

If we legalised everything we ate, listened to our bodies and treated ourselves every now and again, most people wouldn't have a weight issue (IMHO). Most of the problems I feel lie in "beating ourselves up if we're not perfect" attitudes.

Let's face it...we're not "perfect" and unless you're an alien from another planet, we will never be.

Soooo...workout, listen to your body (journalling (food and personal) is useful here) and enjoy life. And if you do fall off the horse and stuff your face...move on...most people I know have done it at one time or another.

Cheers,
Liz N
 
Trust me!! We all have problems like this... Ok, maybe not all, but most, and none of us are perfect, as Liz said. My only advice to you is to not worry about it (or food in general) so much. Consider your "slips" to be treats instead of a mistake... and enjoy them. If you savor what you're eating, you're less likely to want to eat more of it (or food in genearl :))later. It's incredibly difficult to just change your mind and your stomach's mind about this sort of stuff all of a sudden. I just hope that you can store our advice and encouragement in the back of your mind somewhere and begin using it when you are ready to and truly believe it yourself. Please don't think there's anything wrong with you!!! There isn't. Just don't be so hard on yourself.

Take Care and Good Luck!!!!
 
Hey Runner 2,
Try sitting down and enjoying one muffin if that's what you want! Sit down, eat it, and enjoy it! Then you are eating one serving instead of picking all day. When you want to pick thick of the muffin or snack that you have planned to enjoy later in the day and tell yourself to wait.

Life is too short. Enjoy your exercise and know it IS benefiting your mind AND your body and enjoy the foods you like in moderation. Also, don't beat yourself up over a bad day. Journaling your food intake will probably help. It helps me a lot.

Have a GREAT day!
Angela:9
 
RE: Liz N - you rock!

Yours are some very compelling comments and excellent advice! Thank you for posting them!

A-jock
 
I also agree with Lizn suggestions. For me-I eat one meal all day long. I don't like to get really hungry. I don't eat like there is no tomorrow so my portions aren't huge. I do eat a variety of foods. This seems to work well for me. So maybe by you picking here and there is good because it keeps you from getting really hungry and piggy out and try to pick at good foods too like having an orange or banana. And you should pat yourself on the back that you exersice to keep yourself heathly.

Joanne
 
Oh boy have I been there! I do agree with Liz in that you may not be eating enough? I recently starting eating more clean complex carbs.Increasing my caloric intake from 1300 to about 2000. Because I'm eating the good carbs( wild rice,whole wheat bagel&breads ,Kashi cereals,fruits,oatmeal etc..) I find my cravings for those simple carbs(cookies,candy,etc.)have gone away! I can now go in my pantry without reaching for the Chips Ahoy or the brownie pan. Also don't deny yourself. As someone mentioned sitting down to one whole muffin would have satisified you better! ;-)
Don't be so hard on yourself! We all at one time or another cave in. It's all about getting refocused and back on the horse! Take care and stay strong-Susan
 
Oh Runner2, I know just what you mean. I go through periods like that and then I'm all right for a while. Desserts are my problem - the fat + sweet combination. I don't have any answers. I did realize for me that some of this was bad habits from childhood that get reinforced by the taste of the food. I also realized some of it is me defying my mother (yes, even at my age I'm still hanging on to those old childhood thought processes) I do believe that Liz is right about not eating enough and I agree that it matters what you eat. I bet Honeybunch would tell you to get the offending items out of the house - just don't buy them (I know you have to have the staples that are the ingredients of muffins....) I would give anything to have NO FOOD ISSUES. I do think that maybe you could try to vary your routine so that you can try to break the bad habits and establish better habits. How do you do that? I'm not sure. Good luck. -joy
 
There is nothing wrong with you! I have been through it many, many times. I came up with a trick....I don't tell myself I'm going to be good today and watch myself...You know why? Because unconciously, your brain is freaking out and wants to eat non-stop. If I just do what I want to do but cut it back, I'm ok. It's ok as long as you work out no matter what time of the day. My husband goes through this..."I'm going to eat light, blah blah..."Everytime he says hes going to eat light, he eats more than he should. If you don't think about it and you don't say it, you won't feel stressed to eat more. It's been working with me for 3 months now and my weight is coming off more now. I've been trying to lose weight for MONTHS and now it's finally coming off. Just relax, have a muffin or even half a muffin first in the mid-morning then have another half in the mid-afternoon. I don't see why you can't have one or two fat days a week...I have one fat day a week where I'd pig out and I feel good for the rest of the week. I don't know how many of you ladies do that?
 
Runner2-
I can TOTALLY feel for you - TOTALLY! I would give you a lengthy "I am in the same boat" response, but that could take weeks~!!!! :)
My only answer would be in response to you picking while you are cooking - I find that if I keep a piece of gum in my mouth while I am baking/cooking, I will NOT pick or sample or taste. I heard that tip at a WW meeting ....
Hope this helps at least a LITTLE bit - and don't feel so bad, just by exercising regularly you are doing more than 9/10 of the people I know, and probably 75% of the population!!!
Hang in there -
Courtney
 
Hi Runner2,

Like so many others who have responded to your post, I've been there too. I don't think it has to do with not eating enough, because let's face it if you are blowing your calorie count out of the water you are eating plenty...again...I've been there.

For me the real problem was why I had such a hard time making that tough decision when it was time to eat. Why was it so hard for me to choose something healthy over something that was fatty and unhealthy? I asked myself that over, and over and I honestly couldn't answer that question. What I decided was that since I had no answer for that question, let me focus on it from another angle. I started asking myself how I could make eating healthy desirable and enjoyable...that is where I started putting my focus and believe me, for me it made a world of difference. Actually it sort of helped me answer the first question. I had to feel like I wasn't missing out on anything. I had to make my healthy meals as delicious and enjoyable as a burger with fries...and I've learned to do that in a way that works for me. I still eat goodies believe me, but I have much better control over my eating now.:7

I hope this or some of the other posts helps, but please don't feel alone because you aren't.


Take care,
 
Thanks everyone....what great responses! I started to thinking that I seriously had some sort of eating disorder.
I am glad to report that yeserday I had a good day.When I work nights I have a habit of comming home and tearing the cupboards apart to find something to munch on while I am making something to eat.By the time I have my dinner made I am not hungry, but I eat my dinner to.Some times I am not even hungry when I do this.I would understand it a little bit better if I had went way to long without eating but thats not always the situation.Instead I did some cardio on my break then I had a banana and on my way home from work I picked up a salad before bedtime.
Yesterday was a disaster trying on clothes.I diffently have a few pounds packed on.I am thinking about cutting out carbs at my first meal and my last meal, what do you guys think?
Thanks once again,
Runner2
 
Hi Runner2.
I'm there with you too. I bake even though I'm the only one who will eat it. People kept telling me it was okay to eat in moderation; don't deprive myself. I finally gave that a try. HUGE mistake for me. My personality type does NOT allow me that option. By listening to that advice I have digressed to an unhappy place. For some, eating in mod. works wonderfully. For some, it does not.
Some of the following help sometimes:

If I'm thinking I shouldn't "Waste" - it will either go in your stomach or down the drain(not in the trash)If you can have this thought, get it down the drain before you think anything else.
Think: Not what you eat, but WHY you're eating.
Chew gum or brush teeth.
Think about how you'll feel afterward.
I bake when I'm tired(why don't I go take a nap if I reqlize this?)
When I get a craving to eat or bake I try to a)drink a bunch of water to fill me up so I'll feel too bloated to want to eat also maybe the drink will take my mind off of baking b)say to myself, "walk to another room hoping to find something needs to be done that will take my mind off baking until it's time for hubby to get home or kids to wake up.
My goal is to detox my body for 2 days. That would get me on the right track for me. I've been unsuccessful for 4 years so far.
I hope something here will be helpful.
 
Hi, Runner2,

Two things struck me from your post. The first is I don't think we are good girls if we eat clean and bad girls if we don't. There's is really no bad food as long as you keep your diet in balance. I try to eat wholesome and clean foods to nourish myself and eat more decadent foods to indulge. Often, once I have eaten more wholesome foods, less nutritious ones hold less appeal. Once my caloric intake has reached the maximum it should to remain in balance, I try to tell myself, that's it. If my hormones are raging or I just really crave something, I'll skip something which is probably better for me. At least, this keeps me from eating too many calories and I like that feeling better than eating my nutritious meal and topping it off with something like a muffin. Another alternative is to have indulgant days and follow them with strict, clean days.

Second, have you considered NOT making the muffins? The best way I know to avoid indulging in a food which is going to blow my diet is to leave it at the grocery store!


Chicks's Rule! http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif Bobbi
 
I think you are my twin, Runner2, after reading this post inparticular. I have been doing the same thing and trying on clothes lately makes me want to cry. I have 5# I definatley need to loose and 3 more that I would like to. I am so mad at myself. I had myself totally set this time last year. I have the same picking problem at dinner time as well. I pick while I make dinner, then I am not hungry for dinner, but i eat it anyway, usually with seconds. UGH!!!!!! Something will just "snap" in my head, and I won't do it anymore for a while anyways. I am just waiting for that day to come....hope it gets here soon.....

Kim
 
Remember in AA, they say one day at a time. If that's too long they say one hour at a time.

When you wake up in the morning, say "I'll have a great breakfast." It is one of the few meals where you can pretty much eat anything and not ruin your day. The main thing is to fill up to have the energy you need for the rest of the day. If you eat a good breakfast and a good lunch, you'll be far less inclined to binge later.

But if you do binge later, just forgive yourself and move on. We all have hungry days, we all have emotionally unsettling days. It's totally normal. Don't try to make up for it, because for one reason or another your needed that food. If you're craving muffins, build them into your diet for a week or so. After that, you won't crave them so much.

I guess my main message, is "forgive yourself and move on" and "try for a good day rather than a perfect day." You don't have to eat perfectly to lose weight. You just have to eat a little bit less.

I've found just plain couting calories to be very helpful.
 
Runner2 - please don't be so hard on yourself. We all do it! I also agree with LizN and others in that I know most of the time the days I have the most problems controlling myself are the days I don't eat enough! I find that the days I eat 5-6 smaller meals I do sooooo much better.

I LOVE muffins and can totally relate to your muffin story. I'll sometimes make them for my 2 year old thinking HE wants them but then I end up eating 6 of them! I LOVE batter and probably eat 2 muffins in just batter alone.

Hang in there. Don't get down on yourself! You working out is more than 1/2 the population out there.
 
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