hiitdogs
Cathlete
I understand that your feelings are hurt, Pippa! My first thought though was, that maybe they thought your presence at the wedding and all the expenses you had was enough of a gift, they may have felt bad that you spent all that money. It maybe that she/they actually sent a note in the mail and it was lost.
When I got married my SIL - who didn't attend the actual wedding despite of the fact that it was in town - did show up to the reception a few weeks later and gave us a gift. I did personally thank her at the wedding and I called her to thank her again for coming and for the gift. She threw a hissy fit because she didn't get a thank you note. Now, I come from a different culture where thank you notes are not custom and I had no clue that this was expected.
I think thank you notes are a nice custom and now I do send out thank you notes or other hand-written notes a lot, I didn't back then though. However, I never expect to get a thank you note, if I give a gift for a wedding or any other occassion. I give the gift because I WANT to give it and I don't expect anything in return. But I understand that different people have different expectations and different customs.
If it really bothers you, I wouldn't just "suck it up" because it may effect your friendship (I am assuming that you and your DH are good friends with that couple, since you went all the way to Brazil to attend their wedding), and become the big elephant under the carpet.
Why don't you just casually call and say that you noticed that you received a refund on your account for the gift. I really liked what Momto5boys suggested. That's probably what I would do, it is not offensive, it shows that you care AND you will know what actually happened.
Don't let this strain your friendship! Good luck!
When I got married my SIL - who didn't attend the actual wedding despite of the fact that it was in town - did show up to the reception a few weeks later and gave us a gift. I did personally thank her at the wedding and I called her to thank her again for coming and for the gift. She threw a hissy fit because she didn't get a thank you note. Now, I come from a different culture where thank you notes are not custom and I had no clue that this was expected.
I think thank you notes are a nice custom and now I do send out thank you notes or other hand-written notes a lot, I didn't back then though. However, I never expect to get a thank you note, if I give a gift for a wedding or any other occassion. I give the gift because I WANT to give it and I don't expect anything in return. But I understand that different people have different expectations and different customs.
If it really bothers you, I wouldn't just "suck it up" because it may effect your friendship (I am assuming that you and your DH are good friends with that couple, since you went all the way to Brazil to attend their wedding), and become the big elephant under the carpet.
Why don't you just casually call and say that you noticed that you received a refund on your account for the gift. I really liked what Momto5boys suggested. That's probably what I would do, it is not offensive, it shows that you care AND you will know what actually happened.
Don't let this strain your friendship! Good luck!
