mom418
Cathlete
What My Scale Might Say If It Could Talk
“Get off! Get off! Get off!”
“Maybe you’re just retaining fat.”
“They say any loss is a good loss. How’s about -.00001 lbs.?”
“Here comes the pain!”
“Round and round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows.”
“When you lose, you take all the credit; when you gain, ya blame me!”
“Looks like you’ve got Dunlap’s Disease. Your belly’s done lapped over your belt.”
“Ummmmph!”
“On the moon, you’d only weigh 43 pounds.”
“Why don’t you try again… maybe it’ll be drastically lower.”
“And you thought nobody saw you eat those chips…”
“Good news: you’re still beating anorexia!”
“Does this number make you look fat?”
“Tippin’ is encouraged. Get it, get it? Tippin’ the scales… ah, you don’t know funny.”
“Are you a glutton for punishment or just a regular glutton?”
“For God’s sake–will you please put on some underwear?”
“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….”
“Let’s say we just call it two hundred and plenty?”
“I’ve got an idea: today I’ll stand on you and call you a f*ckin’ b*tch.”
“Say, are you losing weight?
Baby, You So Fit...
• You so fit you order salad with no-dressing on the side.
• You so fit the local gun show asked you to stand out in front and flex to draw in customers.
• You so fit you wore out your kettlebell.
• You so fit you go up the stairs even when you're going downstairs.
• You so fit the odometer on your running shoes just tripped 100,000 miles.
• You so fit your gym bag smells like the Black Death.
• You so fit that the highest setting on the elliptical is your name.
• You so fit you can do no-arm chin-ups.
• You so fit that not only can you run a half-marathon, you can run a marathon-and-a-half
• You so fit you took the wheel off your wheelbarrow just to get a better workout when you do yardwork.
• You so fit you're reading this while doing sit-ups.
Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit: What My Scale Might Say If It Could Talk
ROFL! gets me every time.
“Get off! Get off! Get off!”
“Maybe you’re just retaining fat.”
“They say any loss is a good loss. How’s about -.00001 lbs.?”
“Here comes the pain!”
“Round and round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows.”
“When you lose, you take all the credit; when you gain, ya blame me!”
“Looks like you’ve got Dunlap’s Disease. Your belly’s done lapped over your belt.”
“Ummmmph!”
“On the moon, you’d only weigh 43 pounds.”
“Why don’t you try again… maybe it’ll be drastically lower.”
“And you thought nobody saw you eat those chips…”
“Good news: you’re still beating anorexia!”
“Does this number make you look fat?”
“Tippin’ is encouraged. Get it, get it? Tippin’ the scales… ah, you don’t know funny.”
“Are you a glutton for punishment or just a regular glutton?”
“For God’s sake–will you please put on some underwear?”
“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….”
“Let’s say we just call it two hundred and plenty?”
“I’ve got an idea: today I’ll stand on you and call you a f*ckin’ b*tch.”
“Say, are you losing weight?
Baby, You So Fit...
• You so fit you order salad with no-dressing on the side.
• You so fit the local gun show asked you to stand out in front and flex to draw in customers.
• You so fit you wore out your kettlebell.
• You so fit you go up the stairs even when you're going downstairs.
• You so fit the odometer on your running shoes just tripped 100,000 miles.
• You so fit your gym bag smells like the Black Death.
• You so fit that the highest setting on the elliptical is your name.
• You so fit you can do no-arm chin-ups.
• You so fit that not only can you run a half-marathon, you can run a marathon-and-a-half
• You so fit you took the wheel off your wheelbarrow just to get a better workout when you do yardwork.
• You so fit you're reading this while doing sit-ups.
Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit: What My Scale Might Say If It Could Talk
ROFL! gets me every time.