What kind of friend am I? Long

>It's all about having a routine...something she is lacking.
>The baby has no regular nap or bed times....dinner for them is
>whenever.

WOW! No wonder she is so stressed and unpredictable. IMO the best thing that you could do for her as a friend is tell/help her get her child and family on a some sort of schedule - that seems to really be the problem here. It amazes me that some people don't realize how important this is for structure and security. Her baby will be WAY happier and life will be so much less chaotic; shoot, she will even be more reliable! :)

Missy
 
>Do you think your friend might be suffering from postpartum
>depression? Was she like this before she had her child? By
>your description, it sounds as if working out isn't the only
>thing she's given up on. I would keep the lines of
>communication open but, aside from walking (an excellent
>idea), I'd just be a friend and keep exercise out of it. I
>think your friend's exercise habits, in light of her apparent
>loss of interest in anything, is the last thing anyone should
>be concerned with. The fact that her husband is trying to
>keep you involved in his wife's life is telling.

SirenSongWoman - I was thinking the exact same thing. Good advice. Be there as her friend, and put the exercise aspect of the relationship on the back burner for now.
 
I think you are a good friend. You gave her the opportunity to workout and she knows you workout and will welcome her should she ever decide to join you again. You can't MAKE someone workout or do anything else they don't want to do, so it's not your responsiblity. 'Just keep the communication and the workout invite open and enjoy your workouts!
Angela
 
Ahh, you're one of those people who extends huge amounts of consideration to others and accepts whatever they dish out in return, even when you couldn't fathom acting they way they do. Yup, plenty of us have been there.

If she wants to exercise, then exercise! She's already got a leg up on you with an air-conditioned garage. I'd say give her one more chance, if she can show the consistence, dedication, and courtesy that you require of yourself, then great. If she pulls this stuff again, maybe see if you can manage getting air conditioning in your own garage. If you can afford it, I wouldn't consider it a frivolous expense at all. This is your physical and mental health here.

You are not the one with a subpar attitude here. I suggest having hubby read this thread :D, or maybe talk it out with another girlfriend, just to get your head in check. You've gone above and beyond as a friend, don't let anyone make you think otherwise.

Nadja
 
My 12 year old has the best advise about being a friend..."dont make someone a PRIORITY if they only consider you an OPTION"....your friend only considers you and exercise and option....make you your priority and to hell with her!!
 
>My 12 year old has the best advise about being a
>friend..."dont make someone a PRIORITY if they only consider
>you an OPTION"....your friend only considers you and exercise
>and option....make you your priority and to hell with her!!
>


WOW smart 12 yr old you have there - I love her quote and it just makes too much sense :7
 
>My 12 year old has the best advise about being a
>friend..."dont make someone a PRIORITY if they only consider
>you an OPTION"....

OMG, your 12 y/o is brilliant! :) That's a keeper.
 
Sorry to hijack the thread but I too love the quote your daughter gave. I will have to remember that. She sounds for smart and confident.

Jacque you are not being a bad friend. You have gotten great advice here. Keep up your workouts and if she wants to join and try what you are doing that day, that's awesome. If not oh well. Be there for her as a friend but if she doesn't want to exercise as intensely or often as you do, you shouldn't adjust your schedule and workouts for her.

Lots of people want to have an exercise buddy but really don't want to exercise.

Jenn
 
One more post to tell you that you are not a bad friend :)

Exercise is one of those things that I feel is truly personal. It's nice to see people at the gym or to workout and sometimes, it's motivating, but I think when you try to do every workout together, you are bound for failure, simply because of life getting in the way and progression of workouts. Let's face it...we all progress at different levels and you may advance quicker than her or vice versa. You both have very different lifestyles and that alone is enough to make it difficult to get the job done.

It's also not your responsibility to motivate another or get them into good exercise habits. Sure, you can help her (if she wants to be helped) but you cannot be the reason why she is exercising. Keep that in mind. You're not a bad friend at all.

Personally, I would not tell her that you have progressed beyond her ability or that you are doing more advanced workouts. she coudl get defensive and take it the wrong way. I would just say that you now do weight workouts in the morning before work, you are in your groove and that it's working well for you. Then, I'd suggest maybe walking with her as a little extra to your workout program. That's probably where she ought to start off anyway & you'll be right there with her!
 
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