what do your husbands (or SO) think of your body?

I don't see anything wrong with finding more or less muscle attractive. I most certainly do not see anything wrong with wanting to look good for our spouses or SO's. We all want that person in our life to find us physically attractive, there is nothing wrong with that. Still, you have to be happy with how you look also. I think in a situation like this, you can reach a happy medium. It's not like he is asking you to gain 60 pounds because he likes big women and you are trying to lose 10 pounds because you want a leaner body.

You can still have strong arms and shoulders without having bulk. You've already received excellent advice on that issue. Who knows, your DH may adjust to your look and he may grow to be less startled by it.

As for my DH and his opinion on my body...I know he loves it. He makes it quite clear VERY often without my inquiry. I will leave it at that!;-)
 
I do mean doing upper body exercises, and yes, he did say specifically that it was my shoulders. He said this to me before when I first started working out with Cathe, but then it was my whole arm. I want to be strong, but also feminine. I see your point on Rebecca Romijn. Today I mentioned to him that Angelina Jolie had muscular shoulders and he didn't say anything!
I don't want to give my hubby a bad rep, however. He does tell me that I look good, but complains when I exercise all of the time! I guess I just don't take criticism as well as I should! I really appreciated all of your input and suggestions. You have all made me feel a lot better.:)
 
Okay, sorry, but you guys are just WRONG. When a woman is 5'5" and weighs 120 and is a size 2 and her guy thinks her shoulders are "huge", HE IS INSECURE. I'm talking his picture should be under "insecure" in the dictionary. It's just that simple.

A lot of men are insecure; even most I would say. Wanting your woman to be tiny is on the top ten list of insecurity. Wanting your woman to make less money than you or to have a less prestigious job is on the top ten also. Unfortunately, I've met them all and dated them all. Unfortunately, I think a disproportionate number of them live in New York City. :+

-Nancy the Very Opinionated :p
 
>I came back into this thread before to say exactly what Lisa
>pointed out but decided not to for the reason of possible
>flaming. I guess I am a chicken! LOL Now that it has been
>put out there though...I must agree. Perhaps it is just his
>preference that women look better when they do NOT have big
>muscles. I can totally understand that! I want to be a
>little muscular but there is a DEFINATE line that I will NOT
>cross because I just don't care for the look at all....To each
>his own...now...it's HER decision as to weather she wishes to
>change her program to make him happy or not and he needs to
>understand if she chooses NOT to. He should love her for who
>she is, not how she's built. :)


You kind of said it in there Tigger - "... but there is a definite line that ***I*** will not cross because ***I*** just don't care for the look ..."

I think that a lot of people (myself included) are a bit turned off by the notion that the OP would change her routine because her **DH** doesn't like it - not that *she* doesn't like it, especially if she's honestly not feeling like she looks super extreme or something.

I know that this is just an inherent part of my personality, but there is NO way I'd change something I didn't believe in myself. No way. And I'm married, going on 15 years, if that matters any.
 
IA ... Nancy you do have the greatest posts .. (I have been lurking and just started posting a bit) ...

and off-subject ..

and I LOVE all of your picture trails .. all of your are gorgeous .. and I love seeing all of your pets!!! Brandi .. your "big boy" is TOO CUTE .. I have got to figure out how all of you do the picture trails .. so you could see my BIG babies .. My BIG DOG Buster looks just about as spoiled as your big boy .. he LOVES the couch and has his own bedroom .. LOL!!!

And Brandi listen to your SO .. b/c according to your pictures .. you look wonderful - he must be a smart man!!!

Mine has always complimented me .. and yes even when I don't believe him .. it would kill me if he didn't .. well let me re-word that .. I would kill him if he didn't .. LOL .. he KNOWS better! Like I said "smart man" ..
 
Well, I still don't think he's insecure. Nancy, you think everyone is insecure. You think every male species are insecure except for your DH. Just because he doesn't like her shoulders doesn't mean he's insecure. I'm sure there are some physical aspect of you your DH does not like but he's smart enough not to say anything. I know my DH doesn't like everything physically about me nor I about him but we don't say anything to each other. That is not insecurity not liking something physical about the person. I bet you the wifey who started this post does not like a couple of things about her DH's physical appearance. Does that make her insecure?? I bet you will say no because she is a woman. If a guy posted and asked this question, you're going to flame the hell out of him. And I used to live in NYC...Long Island especially the Hamptons are no better. BOTH men and women are insecure. From my experience, women seem to be more insecure than men.

Lisa the EXTREMELY opinionated :*
 
Thank you Poochy! I am way more accepting of myself than I used to be, and it's a constant work in progress!

And thanks for your comments on my Jack, he's so much fun. I need to get busy and post pics of my 15 year old "baby", Rudy. If you go to picturetrail.com you can create an account and upload pictures, and then place the link in your signature line.

Oh my, Jack has his own couch, but not his own bedroom!!! well, I guess my bedroom is HIS now. That's tooo funny. Definitely get some pictures posted!
Brandi

http://www.picturetrail.com/jackieboy
 
I am listed as a model on the site onemodelplace.com, and I occasionally get some paid modeling work from it. I have been lifting weights for many years, and I happen to have broad and rather muscular shoulders. The only person to complain happened to be a woman, who was the publisher of one the mags I was featured in, and she continually told me to cover my shoulder with my hair.

Is she, as a woman, insecure? I don't think you can generalize too much about either men or women. I am adding one of my professional headshots to my picturetrail account, and I will be waiting for somebody to "judge" me and tell me I am promoting rampant sexism because I posed in a black bra.
 
Maybe it's insecurity. Maybe it's personal preferences. Maybe he had a traumatic experience with a muscular woman as a child. Who knows?! We can speculate all we want based on our own experiences, but, really, it's impossible to say what's behind his comments without actually talking to the man and asking him. Beyond the husband's motives, though, what counts is what the poster wants to do--what she is happy with and what kind of compromises she is comfortable making in the context of her marriage. If she's not happy with her husband's reaction to her workouts, then that's an issue that she needs to negotiate in her marriage. It really doesn't matter what any of us think her husband's hangups are.
 
Well today my hubby made a nice comment about me over the phone. Haven't heard a comment from him in some time. Guess he thinks my head will explode or something if he tells me too often. LOL! I tell him more often how great he looks to me then he does with me. :-(

Charlotte~~
 
My husband loves my body and I honestly believe it's not just because he likes what he sees but because he really loves me. He loves me when I'm harder and I'm softer. He always makes me feel beautiful. I think if he told me that my shoulders looked "huge", I would listen to his opinion, but I would in the end have to continue my routine if it was making me feel happy and confident. Now if I agreed with him, I'd back off the weights a bit. I think you've gotten a lot of great advice from the ladies. If you're happy and confident with your body, I think that goes a long way with you partner loving it as well.
 
I want to apologize to pianoann. My comments were really meant to support you in how you see yourself and in continuing to do the things that make you feel good about yourself. I don't know your husband or anything about your marriage, and to the extent that got dragged into the discussion I do apologize.

The statistics that you gave were very compelling. If you said that you were 5'2" and weighed 250 pounds and your husband thinks you're pumping too much iron, I would have had a very different reaction. But the statistics that you gave make you sound SO lean and light, and you stated that you feel you look very feminine. That obviously had a substantial impact on my reaction.

-Nancy
 
No need to apologize! I appreciate everyone's opinion, especially a non-biased one. While my marriage is new, it is a great one, and I love my husband very much. I know he loves me very much as well, and that is one of the reasons I was listening to his comments. Perhaps it was the angle he was looking at me, I don't know. Today he doesn't feel as strongly about it, but perhaps that is becuase I got so upset! I have gotten lots of compliments on my arms, and I feel they have never looked as good as when I started working out with Cathe. I will try doing lighter weights and yoga to shake things up a bit and see how my body responds.
You all seem like very confident and strong women, and I feel lucky to be a part of a forum with you. Thank you for your advice and I will keep you posted!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top