I've enjoyed this thread because it's so entertaining.
But I think I might have to adopt the army guy idea (my personal favorite) if I want to use lifting gloves. I tried them today with TBT Full Body and was having trouble with the dixie cups, as my gloves have a tab on the middle finger (for pulling the gloves off). I ended up ditching the gloves.
Every time I do a LIS workout now, I wonder if the Dixie company has had a surge of recent sales. Should help the quarterly reports. I picture a bunch of executives in a board room trying to figure out what's going on.