Week of 3/9 Pregnancy Check-in

[lcobb2]

Jess,

I'm sticking with my opinions. I can't/won't let others tell me how to feel or not to feel. I respect how you feel about it, but that's not how I see it. I think people need to be more mindful of what AND how they say something. I absolutely refuse to go down the path of not honoring my own feelings just to allow others to feel good or not realize that they have said something inappropriate. What does Maya Angelou say, "When you know better, you do better." As this interaction involves me...I'm here to educate.

Laura - no I kwym about how you want to be treated. If this woman knew better and also HOW she said it is important then I understand. I mean if people genuinely are meaning to be nice then I don't let it bother me even if I could take something the wrong way if I wanted to. I've heard plenty foot in mouth comments. ha. but they were well meaning. But if someone was meaning to poke and annoy you or upset you then that isn't right even if what they say sounds ok. You can catch the intent.

 

[intensityjunkie]

Laura -well sorry. I was trying to understand. I didn't see anything wrong with the wording alone so I assumed it was the way she said it or her intent. I really don't see anything wrong with people asking when I'm due or mentioning I have a baby bump. But thats ok. We can't all be the same. sorry if I misundertand you. I may just be different in how I look at things I guess. Also, lots of pregnant women LIKE the special attention they get when preggo. They love talking about the due date and the baby with anyone who brings it up. "When are you due" is just a typical way to bring it up. I admit to asking other expecting moms that myself on occasion and never was met with any annoyance. We just chatted away about baby and pregnancy stuff.
There have been a few times I THOUGHT someone might be preggo but I kept my mouth shut just in case. I would have to be atleast 99% sure they are expecting to say anything. This woman like she said knows a baby bump when she sees one so she was sure. You asked how she knew and she said how.
I'm not telling you HOW to feel about it. Just sharing my thoughts is all. If you feel I'm wrong thats fine.

 

[lcobb2]

No sweat, Jess. Thanks for clarifying. We're good! I'm glad you feel open in sharing your opinion, which by definition cannot be wrong. Same for mine. It's all good!

Anyone heard from Clarissa? I'm itching to hear how things went for her.

Laura -well sorry. I was trying to understand. I didn't see anything wrong with the wording alone so I assumed it was the way she said it or her intent. I really don't see anything wrong with people asking when I'm due or mentioning I have a baby bump. But thats ok. We can't all be the same. sorry if I misundertand you. I may just be different in how I look at things I guess. Also, lots of pregnant women LIKE the special attention they get when preggo. They love talking about the due date and the baby with anyone who brings it up. "When are you due" is just a typical way to bring it up. I admit to asking other expecting moms that myself on occasion and never was met with any annoyance. We just chatted away about baby and pregnancy stuff.
There have been a few times I THOUGHT someone might be preggo but I kept my mouth shut just in case. I would have to be atleast 99% sure they are expecting to say anything. This woman like she said knows a baby bump when she sees one so she was sure. You asked how she knew and she said how.
I'm not telling you HOW to feel about it. Just sharing my thoughts is all. If you feel I'm wrong thats fine.

 

[intensityjunkie]

oh man.. another headache. feeling like I'm going to be sick again too. ugh!

 

[jenmgo]

Hi Ladies!
Im way behind on checking in and reading threads but i anted to say i miss you guys, say hello and see how things were going.
Jess and Laura, is it just you two now?? Or do we have new preggo's checking in? If so hello to the new people!

I saw that Skyy and Clarissa had their babies, how exciting.

Im doing great - i'm lvoing being a mommy and wondering what took me so long. eva is my pride and joy i'm so in love with her and cuddle her all the time. she is overly cranky the past two days which isnt like her at all.

Im feeling great too - im only 4 pounds away from my pre baby weight (after gaining over 40, amazing isnt it?!) and i havent worked out since the day before i delivered. I am not even concerned with any of that, which is nice change from before. MY stomach is going down which is also nice and eva gave me 5 straight hours of sleep last nite before waking up to nurse.

Anyway, i just wanted to say hi and hope you are all doing well!

 

[intensityjunkie]

Jen - Good to see ya! Hope Eva gets back into happy mode for you. thats great about the weight loss. thats how it happened with my first two also so hope so again. I'm probably going to gain about 40 total also. But I bet by one month PP I'll have lost most all of it. The first half on coming home from the hospital. I hope nursing is going better now?
Keep in touch. I think it is just me and Laura? haven't seen anyone else. but the new mommies still check in here it seems which is nice since we've all gotten to know eachother so well. Were right behind ya! I'm trying to get last minute stuff done before he comes.

 

[Skyy2]

Hi Laura, Jess, Jen

Jess.... are you still having a headache? I hope that you feel better soon.

Laura... When I was carrying Anna, some people would say some messed up things to me- I would pretend that I didn't know their intent behind the words they said.... then later, I would get upset that I didn't confront them at the time. For example... hubby and I went out to lunch with a group of our co-workers and were sitting at a table with with a group of women; one of the women said "if you're going to have children, you should have them when you are young. kids of older women have lots of problems." She kept going on about "older" moms.... she knew I would turn 40 this year. My hubby and I were shocked. It didn't really hit me until later.

When I was in the hospital one of the nurses said something pretty bad too. My baby's eyes looked a little yellow to me. I kept mentioning it to the different nurses but they didn't seemed concerned. I did mention it to a nurse that I thought was one of the better ones during my stay. She said "unfortunately it's because she is bi-racial. that is the first strike against her". The nurse was looking at my hubby when she said it. I let it go, because I didn't want any drama in my hospital room, and when I mentioned it to the baby's doctor at her 1st week appointment, she got upset for me.

Sorry everyone for rambling on... I guess that I just needed to vent.

 

[intensityjunkie]

Skyy -no thankfully it was only a one day long one. I'm ok today. Had a long day though. my car battery died and wouldn't be jumped. (well it started to work once and died again). Had to buy a new one. Thankfully one of my neighbors did all the work for me. Turned into a big ordeal. They are so nice to help me out like that. I'm pretty good friends with them.

WOW! I am shocked at those comments. Those were VERY rude and I'd be super peeved too. I don't even know if I'd know what to say though I'd be so shocked. There is no way you can take that as they meant it to be nice type comment. Those are strait up rude.

 

[Skyy2]

Jess it was good that your neighbor was there to help you out!! I'm glad that your headache is long gone!! They are the worst.

You are right about the comments. I guess when someone makes a bad comment to me while they are "smiling" I tend to think that they are not intentionally trying to be nasty.

Anyway.... I'm glad you are feeling well. I am waiting one more week before I start to exercise. My tummy is still going down, but I still feel a little pain everyone now and then. DH is saying to wait 6 weeks before exercising again, but I am really wanting to run again.

 

[intensityjunkie]

Skyy - maybe you should start out slowly. start walking instead of running then kick it up a notch at 6 weeks? Did you ask your dr how soon to exercise? I am wondering if there is a certain time frame that they recommend? For me, I know I don't want to cause too much bleeding? not sure if that'd make it worse. (cause of my blood platelet issue). so I'd probably atleast wait till thats over with myself.

 

[lcobb2]

Hi all,

Sorry about my snippyness (Sorry Jess!!!) earlier in the week. I guess I was just still a little "raw" from the comments. Thanks for your understanding and sharing what some folks said to you as well. I'm glad that I am an assertive person and I'm not afraid to "come right back to them with it." If they can dish it out, they can take it.

Jess-let's not let this forum die! I think you're one week ahead of me. I'm due 5 May. When are you due?

 

[jenmgo]

hi everyone
jess sorry you are still having headaches, i hope those go away for you. poor thing, you've been suffering from them the whole time. are you all ready for the babys arrival??

i still cant beleve how fast the time is passing...im dreading my return to work and leaving my baby for 12 hours at a time. i so want to stay at home and take care of her. anyone know a way i can make decent money working from home??

skyy - im sorry you had a bad experience at the hospital. My baby is bi racial too - i am white and my husband is black. Some people take issue with that, but i dont let it get to me. I did not get any rude comments at the hospital, thank goodness. Im sorry you have to go thru that. I dont look at that as being a 'strike' against her. Bi racial babies are some of the most beautiful out there! Plus she will not grow up ignorant like people who are racist. Is that too bold to say? I hope you know what i mean. I for one never understood how anyone could be racist. But sadly, thats teh way it is. And since we live way down in the South, we deal with it more often. Not a shift goes by where someone doesnt call my DH the N word (and he's in full uniform). Some people are so backward. Thats my little vent!

Laura - you are getting close too. Are you ready for your baby or do you still have a lot of things you have to taek care of? your little ryan will be here before you know it.

Being a mommy is THE BEST ever Enjoy your newborns, they grow so quickly!

 

[intensityjunkie]

Oh boy.. feeling like I'm going to POP anytime now lately. I'm feeling some pressure down there.. ha. And hes getting to where he can't move much except pushing alot and hes always doing that. I am really wondering how big he is!? Been super tired the last few days. feeling like a nap now. That is totally not me I never take naps. I could hardly keep my eyes open this morning.

Laura- well don't worry. If I felt someone was being rude to me I'd probably want to vent here too. Hugs. Oh and I'm due April 28th. It's coming up fast!

Jen - Glad your enjoying your time with baby. How long till you have to go back to work? Did you find a good childcare place? I must be sheltered. I never really knew anyone racist growing up. One boyfriend in highschools family was from Arkansas and his cousin came up saying ugly stuff and I got SOOOO mad I just left! My BF appologized later and said that's the way they are and he doesn't like it either. I'm in TX and I still haven't met anyone like that but I just hang with neighbors and church ppl and no one I know is like that. My niece and nephew on my DH side are half black -half hispanic. My youngest are half white -half hispanic so we have lots of mixtures going on ha.