WAY WAY off topic

N

Nadine

Cathlete
I was reading in A-Jock's update, and the posts about her "smoking tampon" brought something back to mind that I had thought recently...

We all know about the great absorbancy of tampons so why has no one ever invented one for other absorbancy issues?

Namely- "Nose Tampons" for when you have really a bad runny nose cold -- you know, the kind where you've used two boxes of kleenex, your nose is red and sore from wiping and it's only day 2! Yes, you'd look stupid but heck, when you feel sick like that who cares how you look. I normally roll up a kleenex and stuff it up there anyway (at home only!) so I couldn't look any worse!

One problem I can see: how to prevent injury to others if you sneeze. With a really powerful one you could have some dangerous projectiles! :)

Nadine

~~Happiness is an Attitude~~
 
Yeah, I could use one of those when I ride my bike in cold weather! If the temp is below 50, and I forget to carry a pack of Kleenex in my bike bag, I end up having to wash my gloves every time I ride (if you know what I mean). Yuck!
 
Nose tampons …, hummmmmmm, interesting, HOWEVER!!! Can you imagine having one of them up your nose when it starts to run and the amount of EXPANSION it would create…lol you’d have one hell of a big nostril!!!
 
A nose tampon would've helped me a few years ago when I was teaching a late afternoon aqua aerobics class:

I'd forgotten to blow my nose before starting the class, and about halfway through, with a class full of wet and wild women splashing around, I got some water up my nose. About five minutes after that a nice, big wet booger flew out and landed on the water right in front of a new participant. She never came back.

A-Jock
 
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Annette, you naughty girl! You almost choked me with laughter!http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/lach.gif[/img]http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/lach.gif[/img]http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/lach.gif[/img]http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/lach.gif[/img] I got coffee alllllll over me, the desk, the floor, etc. Haaaaaaaaaaa!

Thanks for the laughter, now its time to clean the mess you made me make!


Blessings from our home to yours...Runathon http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/lach.gif[/img]
 
OMG ................. you'll probably see her on Jerry Springer one day ... I can see it now ... "Vicious Aerobic Instructors Who Traumatized Me!!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carol
:)
 
Oh my gosh you guys! What a hoot! http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/lachen/laughing-smiley-014.gif[/img]
Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
 
>Namely- "Nose Tampons" for when you have really a bad runny
>nose cold -- you know, the kind where you've used two boxes of
>kleenex, your nose is red and sore from wiping and it's only
>day 2! Yes, you'd look stupid but heck, when you feel sick
>like that who cares how you look. I normally roll up a
>kleenex and stuff it up there anyway (at home only!) so I
>couldn't look any worse!
>

Yes! I often use my own homemade "nose tampon, " just as you do. How about charcoal-filtered butt tampons for people who have gas?

Once, when I was a teen, I shot a tampax out of it's cardboard tube for my family cat to play with. She loved it! The string looked like a tail, and the "body" was about the size of a small mouse. Unfortunatly, she took off with it before we could get it back from her, and hid it. A couple of weeks later, my stepmother told me that a friend of hers was over, and out of nowhere comes Punkin with the now-moistened and unraveled tampon in her mouth. SM was glad it was a GOOD (and female) friend who was over!
 
My cats are famous for stealing tampons and playing with them. One cat can unwrap them and then carry them all over the house... we find them in the living room, garage, on the stairs...
Q-tips are even worse. We keep them in a drawer of the bathroom vanity. My cat will open the cabinet of the vanity, climb inside, and get into the drawer from inside the cabinet... then we wake up to q-tips on the stairs, in the sink, in the kitchen, and in their food dish! No matter how many times we change the hiding place for the Q-tips, this cat finds them.

Thanks for the laughs ladies!
Charlene
 
Funny! My dogs FIGHT over Q-Tips. They tear off the cotton tips as if they're killing a rodent, then they're done and leave the stick where it lays. Makes you wonder just what is going through their little heads.


Shari
 
Well ... I guess as long as we're telling tampon stories ... when my daughter Nik was about two, she once dumped an entire box in a bathtub full of water. I had no idea how much fluid those little suckers really CAN hold - LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carol
:)
 
Another true tampon story:

One time I was standing about four deep in line at a convenience store with a pack of gum to buy. The customer at the front asked for a pack of cigarettes and was quoted an astronomical price; she shouted, "$4.35?! That's it, I'm quitting!" The next customer, a guy, had a box of condoms with a marked price on them; when he got to the front he said, "$2.39?! That's it, I'm quitting!" The customer in front of me, a woman, had a box of tampons and when SHE got to the front she said, "5.99?! THAT'S IT, I'M QUITTING!!!"

Couldn't contribute too much to that conversation; the gum was pretty reasonably priced.

A-Jock
 
I'm with ya on the biking glove thing! The left is for sweat and the right is for the nose! EWWWW!

Nadine

~~Happiness is an Attitude~~
 
I feel a lawsuit comming on. I can just see someone snorting one of them up into their head and it causing all kinds of snasty problems. I was going to apply for a patent and start my own company but have changed my mind.



Madonna
 
Okay, since you're all confessing, here's my story. Julie would kill me if she knew I was telling! :eek: Jul left one with the wrapper lying on her bathroom counter. She saw Kennedy pick it up and was going to tell her to put it down but decided to watch & see what she did. Jul said it took her ten minutes to peel itty bitty pieces of the paper off at a time. She then stood up and put it between her legs and it kept falling to the floor so she finally squeezed it between her knees and walked across the bathroom floor with her knees squeezed as hard as she could so it wouldn't fall. Julie said, "I GUESS it's time to close the bathroom door when I'm in there!!!" :7

Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
 
Oh, no! Tell her to stay away from them! If she gets hooked, she'll be smoking a box a day! That is the most adorable tampon story I have ever read! If Kennedy realized that in her early teens those babies will become an unloved and unlovely necessity of life, she would have flushed the sucker and toddled the heck out of the bathroom as quickly as her tiny feet could carry her!
http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/user.gif Bobbi
 
One more tampon story, sorta

I wish I could e-mail to all of you or somehow post this card that I was sent last year by a girlfriend -- one of the funniest I've ever seen. It's just one of those for-no-reason cards and it resembles (the picture style, anyway) a Far Side card. Got that? Y'all try to picture this:

On the front of the card is a picture of a large family at the breakfast table. It's bedlam, kids everywhere, milk tipped over dripping on the floor, cereal box open, cat underfoot licking up the milk. A grinning little boy is holding a baby precariously above a high chair and the baby's howling. Dad's dressed for work, reading the paper, oblivious to the commotion. Mom's in her housecoat (for you non-Southerners, that's a really ratty-looking 3/4 length robe) and has curlers in her head, and she's standing beside a kid's chair with a jug of juice in her hand. She looks completely frazzled and like she's about to scream. She's saying: "Tommy, put your sister down! Give me that homework to sign! Does anybody know what I did with my pencil?"

Tucked behind her ear... is a tampon.

On the inside the card says: "So, how's YOUR day going?"

:)

http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/sport/sport-smiley-003.gif Kathy S. http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/spezial/spudniks/spudniklifter.gif
 
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