Please remember that no-one goes from flat belley to 8 months pregnancy belly overnight. the change in your body is very slow and gradual, afffording you/us plenty of time to get used to those changes. At first it is actuaally very nice: your boobs grow before any other part of you. I loved the extra cleavage, so did my husband!
In pregnancy, I think, and I certainly found this, that women only feel "bug" in the last month when it seems to have gone on forever and your sleep is disturbed and your back aches and nothing fits. For the rest of the time, pregnancy can be a very interesting experience, not to mntion a powerful one.
Neither does pregnancy necessarily translate into 9 months of discomfort and hell. My first pregnancy was like a dream! Until I reached 9 months, I felt great, slept well, ate well, and I might add much more healthily that I had before. It was only in the 9th month that I felt "big."
In the hospital ward after I had given birth, in the UK, women there had all sorts of stories to tell. Sure, on ewoman laboured for over 24 hours then had to have a caesarean, but most of the others wwere just normal and mine was a classic 12 hour labour.
The horror stories sure are out there and you will always find someone eager to share theirs. But, they are a minority. Most women I know remember their labour experience as an incredibly powerful one. Mine certainly were both.
I was #### scared as I got closer to the 9 months with my first pregnancy. I had read tons of books, watched videos of births and was so afraid of losing control, of things happening to my body that I could not control. What helped was a Lamaze class. It taught me that I was not a useless bystander in this process. I didn't just have to lie there and suffer pain endlessly and not be able to do anything about it. As itturned out, the Lamaze techniques only helped me until I reached 6" dilaation, then the pain grew fierce, but what made it worse was that I let myself get scared again by the fact that I had laboured throughout the night and was getting tired. It was a mentally defeatisst attitude.
However, the midwife, or og/gyn over here, is there to help you. You will never be alone during the abour experience. If they see that ssome pain relief can be of help to you, that you need it mentally, they will help you. Taking pain relief is not at all a bad thing. It does not mean you failed. I accepted pain relief and within an hour my girl was born and it really was not painful at all! Seriously.
With my second pregnancy, I was sstill scared when labour begaan in earnest, but my Mum was there with me and held my hand, and once things really began I went to a place inside of myself and found my own rhythms that let me ride the waves of contractions. It is possible to find such strengths within yourself. My knowledge of the birthing process allowed me to realize that all I had todo was let my body do what it had to do. To have faith. because your body and the babe inside know exactly what they are doing. Just let them get on with it and trust in it. I did and it was such a powerful experience. And yes, it's OK to scream! You maay not even realize you are ding it. It'ss just a release of tension from the body and can be very producctive!!!!
Your fears are totally understandable. I had them too. But, you have 9 months to prepare yourself and learn all about your body's adaptations and adjust your mental attitude to your changing physical reality.
I suffered eating disorders and it was only pregnancy aged 28 that helped me begin to heal from them. I was terrified of getting fat and huge. But strangely I found that my body dictated tome exactly what I should and needed to eat. I did not go through those cravings they talk about, did not sit at home and plow my way through doughnuts. It does not have to happen that way! Trust your body to tell you exactly what you should eat and when. Just learn to listen. I never thought I was ugly when pregnaant. I loved looking at my changing body. Couldn't believe this was me!
Pregnancy itself will prepare you for pregnancy and birth!
Clare
