venting

K

kariev

Cathlete
Guys, i need to vent today. I'm so sad. I've been crying all morning. I'm tired of not sleeping well, i'm tired of having to study all of the time (physical therapy school), i'm tired of not being able to go do anything fun, i'm tired of not being able to spend time with my fiance', i'm tired of working out, i'm tired of eating healthy, i'm just tired;( I watch my fiance' go fishing, surfing, on trips and i can't go b/c school is dominating my life. i know its not going to last forever but i am so stressed right now. i'm trying to plan my wedding on top of everything else. i just don't want to care about anything right now. thanks for listening:(
 
TAKE A BREAK!!! Seriously. Is there any way that you can plan to have one day that you don't have to do any of it? Get out of the house. Go to a coffee shop or restaurant and sit and read a magazine. Go to a movie. Turn off the phone. Go get a massage. Stay in bed with your fiance all day. SOMEthing! Honey, you're doing too much.

Maybe after taking one day (and NO THINKING ABOUT ANY OF THE AFORE MENTIONED STUFF is allowed!), you'll learn to incorporate an hour or maybe just a half hour a day of valuable down time.

Please try. Stress is part of life, but it shouldn't be your entire life. You need to enjoy this time.

Hang in there and let us know how you're doing.
 
I know how you feel. I had the same meltdown last week.

I think the most important part is the sleeping well--that's where I suffer the most and it can affect every other aspect of your life so tremendously.

I wrote a long email to my mother last week during "meltdown mode" and it really helped. Just knowing someone knew my pain and was willing to give advice made me feel so much better. Venting really, really helps me--especially in written form. Try to go back over your above post and break it down. Pick one thing and try to tackle it slightly. If it's school, try and study for a bit or write a page of a paper, or read a chapter of a book.

Try not to worry about everything all at once (coming from the Queen of Anxiety here):p

Break your stressors down and tackle them one at a time. Babysteps, honey. I seriously feel so overwhelmed sometimes that I have to "babystep getting out of bed", then "babystep taking a shower", "brushing my teeth", etc. etc. The whole picture can be incredibly daunting too often.

You'll be ok. Life is full of constant stressors--it's learning how to manage them that is the challenge.
Good luck and keep us updated!

Allison
 
Go get some yummy smelling bath products and lounge in the tub with a glass of wine or tea. :) Now get out, put on warm and fuzzy slippers and jammies, then settle in and watch something like 'Sex and the City" "Friends" or anything that engages you and makes you laugh. This method works for me!:)

I feel like you do alot, I am constantly cooking, grocery shopping, entertaining people for weeks on end. We have our business people down to Vegas all the time and they work here, so I call our house "Tneah's bed and Breakfast". Plus I work ( I write) as well. It gets to the point you start feeling the stress and really need to spend some quality time just for you. I actually loved recovering from my hip surgery because all I had to do was sleep and lay around-it was soooo nice!

Please take this time, its important for your studying, your moods, your fiance', and you!
 
I agree: take a weekend off!

And during the week, give yourself little breaks: a 15-minute relaxation break every day (doesn't take much time, but can help so much). And NO thinking about school or wedding plans during that time! It can be a stroll through a pretty part of town, a bubble bath while you do a face mask,sitting down for a cup of tea listening to some soothing music, or just finding some calm spot to sit and just 'be'.

I remember the aweful stress of grad school, prepping for preliminary exams (4 long written exams, each on a different century of literature). I can't imagine adding wedding preparation to that! The good news is, it's temporary (though it may not feel like it at the time).
 
You definitely need a break. My advisor in grad school (wise man that he is) actually told me to go to the movies when I got to feeling like you are now. Great advice - IMO - I forgot all about the stressors and really enjoyed the movie. Felt rejuvenated.

((((HUGS))))
 
I agree.....take a break and don't feel guilty about it!

A good night's sleep will almost always help me get a better perspective on things. You should give it a shot. Go to bed early tonight and get up late tomorrow....you deserve it!:)

Oh, and by the way, when I was in nursing school I was always striving for A's. If that sounds like you, just know that you can get B's and the world won't stop spinning. I'm not saying that A's aren't a good thing, just don't let everything else in your life slide just to get an A. Give youself some breathing room with your grades.....when you get in your profession, nobody ever asks you what your grades were in school.

Angie
 
I agree with everyone else. You can't keep this pace up nor can you be all things to all people. Stand back and have some compassion for yourself, time for a little self nurturing. No guilt, no explainations, if you take time for yourself to recharge the battery you will come back rested, fresh and renewed. All the best to you!

Take Care
Laurie:)
 
unfortunately today i took out my emotions on food. i ate 12 chocolate chip cookies, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and about 4 kashi bars. so now on top of everything, i'm bloated and i'm beating myself up over that. everyone is right, i need a break. i know this is from lack of sleep and too much cardio. the one thing i'm really tired of is dieting rules. i feel so restricted all the time and disconnected with my body. how do you all manage to trust your body? i'm definately not going to beat myself up over this. i will resume working out on monday and try to get some good sleep.
 
I second the above suggestions that you need a break-- a movie is a great idea! And no GUILTIES allowed. I spent 8 years in graduate school, and rest days are an essential part of being successful. You cannot be at your best if you are worried, stressed, not sleeping, etc. After a few years of school, I was in an absolutely horrible state because I tried to work all the time and the pressure is intense. When I wasn't working, I was worrying about what needed to be done. I quit being able to sleep and would go days without it. I ended up on meds. However, my husband (who's a PT, btw) came up with a rule: no work on weekends unless it's an emergency. He made me take breaks, and I'm grateful because it kept me sane. It might mean being at my computer at 5 every morning until 5 in the evenings, but I have two days off to look forward to. That and retirement....

HTH,
L
 
Hi Kariev,

Yes, please do listen to what everyone else has said -- and try to give yourself some time to relax and breathe!! You don't want to burn yourself out with your studies, and you want to be able to enjoy your life in the present instead of burning the candle at both ends until you finish school.

Are there also any commitments that you can give up so that you can carve out more time for yourself? Can you maybe have someone help more with the wedding planning so that you're not taking so much on yourself? Could your fiance help you more so that you have more time together?

And remember, too, that a few days of indulgent eating won't set you back! Since you're feeling out of sorts with your body, maybe try putting fewer restrictions on your eating for a few days, and do some fun things like yoga to re-connect with your body!

Like some of the others, I was in grad school for many years, while also teaching full-time. I had to find time to get away from my schoolwork because I would become obsessive about it and turn into a major CRAB!

Keep us posted on how you are!!

Leanne :)
 
I finally wnt to the doctor and got some Lunesta it was the best sleep I ever had, I woke up refreshed and ready to go. You have to get your rest, maybe you should just get a few samples of that and get a good night sleep. You are accomplishing so much in your schooling be proud of yourself, pat yourself on the back for that instead of beating yourself up. I am proud of you.....
 
Some excellent points and suggestions have been made here.

Things that work for me (that don't involve food/drink)
1-a good run
2-deep breaths!
3-massage
4-yoga
5-a movie escape (well, OK, I do have to get popcorn here, but no butter)

Sending (((HUGS))) and *relaxation* http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/expressive/meditate.gif vibes your way.

Life is too short not to make time for fun. :) Hang in there!
[font face="heather" font color=brick red size=+2]~Cathy [/font face] http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/wavesmile.gif
"Out on the roads there is fitness and self-discovery and the persons we were destined to be." -George Sheehan
 
thank you all so much! you are so kind. i look back now and realize why i binged. 1)i'm way over tired 2)i've been doing 3 meals a day instead of 6 so i'm having extremem highs and lows 4)not eating clean and loading up on processed diet bars which makes me crave and drinking diet soda instead of water 5) not taking breaks from school
thank you all for the support. i never feel bad about myself when i come on this board. today is a new day. i'm going to drink loads of water and mabe get in a yoga class today. thanks:)
 
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