Unsolicited Parental Advice (long)

[cjbate]

Hm...well, it took about 6 months. A LOT of wasted time with the pediatrician getting the proper referral and waiting for people to call me back. Plus just not knowing what type of doc I needed. Family members telling me "You crazy? He is NOT autistic" because my son does not fit the classic criteria in many areas. And on we went with the tantrums, etc etc. and me trying not to pull out my hair.

The child psych was covered under our Behavioral Health benefits of our medical insurance. I didn't even know we had them! I never saw anything in any paperwork before, we have a very cheap CHEAP (read: cheap minded) HMO, I never knew we had those kind of benefits until we asked. He was a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. He met with our son (who is 5) 4 different times for about an hour. An extensive interview with me, the first visit, then subsequent were spent engaging with my son (playing, talking etc).

The public schools will do it also, they usually have a team that does evaluation, including a "masters in social work" type person known as the school psychologist. They came to the same conclusion as my doc, but were not as precise in what his deficits were and didn't have the same credentials...but bottom line, they would have sufficed, in a pinch (although I have heard horror stories about schools not evaluating kids properly because once they are diagnosed, they qualify for a lot of services and it is $$ so it is sort of in their best interests to NOT find anything wrong, get it? Didn't happen in our school district but I was afraid of that so that is why I sought out the Doc). Likely, she can get some help there for free.

She can try calling her school district main office and tell them what is up. Is it affecting his school? A lot of moms are afraid of a "label" but problem is, without a proper label of ...whatever...they end up with the label of "that bad kid..."

Aspergers and other autism spectrum disorders manifest themselves very differently in different individuals. A special ed teacher once told me that you could have 30 ASD kids in a room and never know they had the same thing. I of course am not qualified to diagnose her son...but I have to say that the early intellectual talent (teaching himself to read at 3 etc) this kid has displayed are a classic Asperger trait. He may not have all the traits. But it doesn't mean he can't get help for the ones he does have. He may have one of the milder forms, but the same therapies can still help his life significantly.

Occupational Therapy can really help, and there are social skills classes...the book Elaine mentioned is great. Plus the biomedical therapy route (Diet, supplements, etc) has been huge for us. Support groups.

I know I was really afraid of any label on "the spectrum" because of the connotations, I mildly freaked out......but really these days there are so many effective therapies, the thing is to get the best dx that fits and then go from there. Then you can see them improve and realize their quirks are not insurmountable.

HTH Sorry so long.
Jen

 

[melodygirl]

Soooosan,

I hope their insurance will cover most of these costs. Ours thru DH employer has no "mental health/emotional" coverage. And it is often a very long process to find the right doctors (more than one is often necessary as a team efftort) as well as pinpoint the correct dx. So many disorders mimic others. We struggled for years with our DSs and have been through much trial and error and frustration.

I wish this family well.

 

[toughYrun]

My DS had an IEP beginning in 3rd grade. He was initially diagnosed as ADHD but I was never satisfied that was the problem. After coming across Tony Atwood's book I asked the school to do some testing, which they did. Although the results indicated that my DS did fall on the autism spectrum they were not able to apply the diagnosis(don't know why). I had to have an outside evalauation done for that before they would check the autism box on his IEP. Insurance covered it but my DH's employer provides decent coverage for us. The funny thing about all of this is that since I knew what we were dealing with I sort of led the professionals in the direction they needed to go.

As far as therapy for my son, well, he hasn't had any. What we have done for him is to become educated, learning all the ins and outs of the syndrome and figuring out what resources he needs and make sure they are in his IEP. I am in constant contact with his resource specialist at school and things generally go smoothly.

If your friend's DS has school issues, whether they be social or scholastic, she can request an IEP as a starting point. The school psychologist could do some testing to get a handle on what they are dealing with.

Poor kid. I hope the family finds some help and solutions. I know it's not easy, especially when you don't know what you are dealing with.

 

[maddiesmum]

Soosan:

proud of you over here! I think you handled this with great sensitivity and care for your friend and the fact that she did not overreact with anger testifies to this. Well done. You are right in saying that allowing this kid's behavioural abnormalities to rule their family life is not at aall fair to either parents or other siblings.

Way to go Soosan!

Clare

 

[Soosan]

Just wanted to say thanks again for your kind encouragement and great advice. I knew I only had to ask. What a great bunch of women you are.