I am turning 40 next week(Monday) and I'm really down about it. I've been working out with Cathe since last year and aerobically I'm in the best shape ever but I cannot eat clean to save my life. I halfway do it then end up bingeing on chocolate or whatever. I have gained over 10 pounds and it won't shift no matter how much cardio or weight training I do. My stomach is so puffy and flabby yet I follow Cathe's rotations including abs but nothing changes. Turning 40 just upsets me more as evrything slows down then and weight is harder to shift. I have also had 3 cesaerean sections which have given me this poochy look. I know the problem lies in my nutrition but for some reason I can't get a hold on it. Whenever I'm stressed etc... I turn to food. It's a vicious cycle. I love working out and can't imagine my day without it but not being able to reach my goals is really depressing. Anyway just thought I'd share I'm feeling sorry for myself. Thanks for listening........Teresa
Turning 40
- Thread starter britgirl
- Start date
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40something
Guest
Hey, I've been 40 for a long time and it hasn't killed me yet! It's a number, nothing more. You make of your life what you want it to be. There is so much to be thankful for, stop and think about all the positive things in your life, like your three children and how much they love you and they don't care what your age is or how much chocolate you eat.
Fitness wise, I gained the 10 pound perimeno weight two years ago and my regular workouts stopped working for me. I have shifted to HIIT four days a week and it was exactly the boost my body needed. Diet/proper nutrition becomes even more important as we age. I know all that sugar is hard to resist but you need to eat to live, not live to eat.
Happy Birthday To You!
Fitness wise, I gained the 10 pound perimeno weight two years ago and my regular workouts stopped working for me. I have shifted to HIIT four days a week and it was exactly the boost my body needed. Diet/proper nutrition becomes even more important as we age. I know all that sugar is hard to resist but you need to eat to live, not live to eat.
Happy Birthday To You!
DebbieH
Cathlete
Hi Teresa! I can relate as one who has the exercise part down but struggles with the eating part which is a HUGE part of the whole picture. I've heard many here say that keeping a food journal helps. Possibly making small changes each week such as drinking a certain amount of water, then the following week, eat so many veggies per day...and so on...just an idea. I just wanted to let you know I am listening and I am sure there are others here that will jump in with some ideas. Hang in there. I bet you look just fine and Happy Birthday almost! Being healthy is the MOST important thing...try not to be so down about 10 pounds. We'll just keep trudging along here, okay? Also, if you can do Cathe workouts, you are doing GREAT!
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Ronne
Cathlete
Hi Teresa
I was 40 in October last year. Like you I was really p***ed off about it.
I got over it pretty quickly as first off I had a fab birthday (a surprise gathering of close friends plus a surprise few days away with husband on our own).
And I also realised that it made absolutely no difference whatsoever to me, my friends, my daughter, etc. etc.
Then finally, the big things: a friend of my husband had an accident and is now in a coma with no chance of recovery and recently an ex-colleague's husband died suddenly (at 39).
So the view at 40 looks pretty good - I do what I can with exercise and eating. I'm never going to be perfect, I'll never be superfit or superlean. But I'm alive with a family and friends that love me and I have so much more than many other people.
This isn't a preach! Just remember all the great things about your life and don't be so hard on yourself.
Take care
Ronne
I was 40 in October last year. Like you I was really p***ed off about it.
I got over it pretty quickly as first off I had a fab birthday (a surprise gathering of close friends plus a surprise few days away with husband on our own).
And I also realised that it made absolutely no difference whatsoever to me, my friends, my daughter, etc. etc.
Then finally, the big things: a friend of my husband had an accident and is now in a coma with no chance of recovery and recently an ex-colleague's husband died suddenly (at 39).
So the view at 40 looks pretty good - I do what I can with exercise and eating. I'm never going to be perfect, I'll never be superfit or superlean. But I'm alive with a family and friends that love me and I have so much more than many other people.
This isn't a preach! Just remember all the great things about your life and don't be so hard on yourself.
Take care
Ronne
dss62467
Cathlete
Hey Britgirl - I'll be joining you in the 40's Club in June. I'm not really sure how I feel about it. Mostly, I don't care...but there is definitely part of me that is a little sad about it. Especially when my hairdresser comments about how much grey I have!
Wish I could offer some advice about the food problems. I've never really struggled that much with it. That said, I realized this morning that it's been almost 8 weeks since I've had one of the coffee cake muffins from the little store down off our lobby at work and I'm struggling to not go grab one. Ahmad is probably very hurt that I haven't bought his muffins in so long and I might make his day....but eh...he can survive off my purchase of microwave popcorn this afternoon.
I definitely do get the chocolate cravings. The thing that helps me deal with that is, I don't buy it! When I go grocery shopping and I'm next to the candy at the check-out, I will sometimes buy one of those little Ghiradelli squares. It has 4 smaller squares in it. I'll eat a piece, give a piece to my daughter and the other pieces to my husband. Or save a piece for the next day. And when we're at the "big" mall, I'll stop in at Godiva for a treat for my daughter and myself. The chocolate is so expensive, that you can only buy a little. It's a nice indulgence.
Occupy your mind with other thoughts. Mine, however, keeps returning to the coffee cake muffins....
Wish I could offer some advice about the food problems. I've never really struggled that much with it. That said, I realized this morning that it's been almost 8 weeks since I've had one of the coffee cake muffins from the little store down off our lobby at work and I'm struggling to not go grab one. Ahmad is probably very hurt that I haven't bought his muffins in so long and I might make his day....but eh...he can survive off my purchase of microwave popcorn this afternoon.
I definitely do get the chocolate cravings. The thing that helps me deal with that is, I don't buy it! When I go grocery shopping and I'm next to the candy at the check-out, I will sometimes buy one of those little Ghiradelli squares. It has 4 smaller squares in it. I'll eat a piece, give a piece to my daughter and the other pieces to my husband. Or save a piece for the next day. And when we're at the "big" mall, I'll stop in at Godiva for a treat for my daughter and myself. The chocolate is so expensive, that you can only buy a little. It's a nice indulgence.
Occupy your mind with other thoughts. Mine, however, keeps returning to the coffee cake muffins....
ShyWolf
Cathlete
My hubby is turning 41 the 30th too and I'll be 40 on May 13th.
It's not so bad, give yourself a big hug and just take it day by day.
Start writing down items you eat and see if it's a pattern, and work from there. It's hard and so much easier not to do it but you if want it bad enough then you need to earn it - I think Cathe says something like this and I use that motto alot to get to where I myself want to be.
40 is just a number and in my book the new 20's
Enjoy Life! and Have a wonderful birthday on Monday!
It's not so bad, give yourself a big hug and just take it day by day.
Start writing down items you eat and see if it's a pattern, and work from there. It's hard and so much easier not to do it but you if want it bad enough then you need to earn it - I think Cathe says something like this and I use that motto alot to get to where I myself want to be.
40 is just a number and in my book the new 20's
Enjoy Life! and Have a wonderful birthday on Monday!
angie_nrs
Cathlete
First off - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! OK - so it's not quite your birthday yet, but I didn't want to forget to wish you a happy one and there's no time like the present. Oh, yeah, that's really the point I wanted to make - there's no time like the present.
If you feel good, then that's all that matters. Like the other posters have said, you don't have to look too far to find people who are much worse off than you are. I'll bet you know lots of people who are your age or a bit older and maybe even younger who are not as fit or as fulfulled as you are.
I do understand your feelings about the big 40 however. I'm not quite there yet, a couple of years to go, but it will be here very soon and I'm not exactly looking forward to it. Instead, I'm just going to have fun TODAY!
It might also be helpful to reflect on all of the things you have accomplished in life so far and decide and plan for what you want to do with the rest of it. ;-)
Angie
If you feel good, then that's all that matters. Like the other posters have said, you don't have to look too far to find people who are much worse off than you are. I'll bet you know lots of people who are your age or a bit older and maybe even younger who are not as fit or as fulfulled as you are.
I do understand your feelings about the big 40 however. I'm not quite there yet, a couple of years to go, but it will be here very soon and I'm not exactly looking forward to it. Instead, I'm just going to have fun TODAY!
It might also be helpful to reflect on all of the things you have accomplished in life so far and decide and plan for what you want to do with the rest of it. ;-) Angie
Thank you for all your wonderful responses. I know it's only a number it's just I never ever thought I would reach this age and now it's right there. I can't help thinking about what I haven't done over the years and accomplishments I did not make. Lots to be thankful for 3 beautiful healthy children great husband and I am in great shape just wish I could see it in my body more. I know I have to get a handle on the food I've done it before I can do it again just feel that 40 is something working against me. Thank you all for caring!!!!! Teresa
dss62467
Cathlete
You know what was the weirdest thing for me? When I realized I had been "middle-aged" for a few years. I still feel like I'm in my twenties (except my knees and back hurt a lot more than they did then) and I'm not so wild.
Don't think about all you haven't done or accomplishments you haven't made. Think of the ones you have done. You've still got half your life for the other ones.
From what I hear, the best is yet to come!
Don't think about all you haven't done or accomplishments you haven't made. Think of the ones you have done. You've still got half your life for the other ones.
From what I hear, the best is yet to come!
nancy324
Cathlete
Happy Birthday, Teresa!
Why don't you give yourself a birthday present: a visit to a nutritionist. I did that on my 48th birthday and was surprised at what a difference it made.
The nutritionist had me keep a journal of everything I ate for about a week, and then bring it with me to my appointment. She came up with an eating guide tailored to my needs and the foods I like. It is not a diet or anything strict, just a way of eating I've been following, more or less, for 3 years now. The appointment cost $150, but I only had to go once! She wrote everything down for me, and gave me lots of interesting articles, which I have to refer to when needed.
The nutritionist's suggestions were not anything radical. They basically involved staying away from processed foods and simple carbs. But it was designed for ME, with my tastes and habits in mind. I couldn't do without coffee, ice cream or wine, so she worked them into the food plan, and made me feel much better about them. Her aim was to make the plan DOABLE, not perfect. It was the best $150 I've ever spent.
Have a great birthday!
Why don't you give yourself a birthday present: a visit to a nutritionist. I did that on my 48th birthday and was surprised at what a difference it made.
The nutritionist had me keep a journal of everything I ate for about a week, and then bring it with me to my appointment. She came up with an eating guide tailored to my needs and the foods I like. It is not a diet or anything strict, just a way of eating I've been following, more or less, for 3 years now. The appointment cost $150, but I only had to go once! She wrote everything down for me, and gave me lots of interesting articles, which I have to refer to when needed.
The nutritionist's suggestions were not anything radical. They basically involved staying away from processed foods and simple carbs. But it was designed for ME, with my tastes and habits in mind. I couldn't do without coffee, ice cream or wine, so she worked them into the food plan, and made me feel much better about them. Her aim was to make the plan DOABLE, not perfect. It was the best $150 I've ever spent.
Have a great birthday!
ivorygorgon
Cathlete
I have to agree that the "middle aged" thing gets me too. I am really struggling with the 40 thing. I am just having a really hard time with it. I try to do all of the things everyone mentioned in this thread, but it still gets me. I'm not trying to be a party pooper, JMHO.
First off, Happy birthday!!! I know it's still early. I will be joining you in the 40th club a little later this year. I also am not really sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, I think HOLY S**T, am I REALLY going to be that old?? On the other hand, I think - eh. I look and feel better than I did 20 years ago, I have accomplished a lot personally and professionally in that timeframe, and I have really come to like and respect myself as a person. To me that's much more important than any chronological number.
Also, my girlfriend and I are taking off for an entire weekend at a spa to celebrate, and that is giving me something to look forward to!
I also wanted to make a comment. As my therapist used to say, it's important to keep in mind that there really is no CAN'T. There's only WON'T or DON'T KNOW HOW. So you have to decide if you just don't want to clean up your eating (which is your personal prerogative, so you shouldn't feel bad about that), or if you just don't know how to do it in a way that doesn't lead to binge eating, in which case you've gotten some terrific advice here on how you might go about changing your approach.
Good luck!
Marie
I will be joining you in the 40th club a little later this year. I also am not really sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, I think HOLY S**T, am I REALLY going to be that old?? On the other hand, I think - eh. I look and feel better than I did 20 years ago, I have accomplished a lot personally and professionally in that timeframe, and I have really come to like and respect myself as a person. To me that's much more important than any chronological number. Also, my girlfriend and I are taking off for an entire weekend at a spa to celebrate, and that is giving me something to look forward to!
I also wanted to make a comment. As my therapist used to say, it's important to keep in mind that there really is no CAN'T. There's only WON'T or DON'T KNOW HOW. So you have to decide if you just don't want to clean up your eating (which is your personal prerogative, so you shouldn't feel bad about that), or if you just don't know how to do it in a way that doesn't lead to binge eating, in which case you've gotten some terrific advice here on how you might go about changing your approach.
Good luck!
Marie
dorothyrd
Cathlete
I am closer to 50 than 40, and to be honest, it is a freeing age. My kids are old enough to take care of themselves, so there is more time for me and my husband. Financially we are doing good since we both work full time. I do not have a perfect body, but never did, but I am in good shape, and feel strong. My BIL's parents both died of heart attacks before age 40, so the alternative to not turning 40 is grim.
gettingstrong
Cathlete
Hi, I am now 41 and also had 3 c-sec. Ha ha welcome to the 40's. I have had a really hard time with this as well. It seems everytime I look in the mirror something looks worse!! One morning I woke up with with what I thought was a little "sleep" wrinkle near my eye. Only it never went away!
It is different for everybody. I should qualify my response by saying I have had some marital problems for years which can make turning 40 even harder. It just seems that aging is so much kinder to men than women. Just think of all the older men considered "hot" by both men and women . Now name some women.It doesn't seem to be as many! Or news anchors - women have to try so hard to look younger than their age. I also had a few experiences which have tainted my views a little...a man I know that is around 40 and is married and has 4 kids was recently indicted for having sexual relations with a 14 y.o. Just this week my ds's English Lit teacher was arrested for having sexual relations with one of his students and he has a daughter in the same school that is the same age as his "girlfriend"!
x( He also is married and has a couple of kids. Just gets so depressing!
So, I have been trying to REALLY focus on my health. This may work for you to help your eating. I want to live a long life, even if I have a lot of gray hair and wrinkles!! I've been reading a lot of nutrition books and upped my f/v content a ton! I just recently read some interesting info on osteoporosis and heavier strength training. My blood pressure has been up (probably due to my marital problems) , so I ck. it every morning and have goals in regard for that. I guess what I am saying is that even though I still care about my appearance and know I can look great at 40 , I am not going to look 20 anymore and am trying not to focus on that.
I am also trying to really focus on my relationships with my kids and mom, etc. I have lost a lot of loved ones the past couple of years and sometimes I get so busy doing "stuff" that I feel I am neglecting the ones I love with undivided attention.
It's not easy, but you just have to refocus everytime you start having those "man I am getting old" thoughts!! Hope you have a great birthday!!
It is different for everybody. I should qualify my response by saying I have had some marital problems for years which can make turning 40 even harder. It just seems that aging is so much kinder to men than women. Just think of all the older men considered "hot" by both men and women . Now name some women.It doesn't seem to be as many! Or news anchors - women have to try so hard to look younger than their age. I also had a few experiences which have tainted my views a little...a man I know that is around 40 and is married and has 4 kids was recently indicted for having sexual relations with a 14 y.o. Just this week my ds's English Lit teacher was arrested for having sexual relations with one of his students and he has a daughter in the same school that is the same age as his "girlfriend"!
x( He also is married and has a couple of kids. Just gets so depressing!
So, I have been trying to REALLY focus on my health. This may work for you to help your eating. I want to live a long life, even if I have a lot of gray hair and wrinkles!! I've been reading a lot of nutrition books and upped my f/v content a ton! I just recently read some interesting info on osteoporosis and heavier strength training. My blood pressure has been up (probably due to my marital problems) , so I ck. it every morning and have goals in regard for that. I guess what I am saying is that even though I still care about my appearance and know I can look great at 40 , I am not going to look 20 anymore and am trying not to focus on that.
I am also trying to really focus on my relationships with my kids and mom, etc. I have lost a lot of loved ones the past couple of years and sometimes I get so busy doing "stuff" that I feel I am neglecting the ones I love with undivided attention.
It's not easy, but you just have to refocus everytime you start having those "man I am getting old" thoughts!! Hope you have a great birthday!!
Hi Teresa,
I was a little bummed when I turned 40 too but I just turned 42 and it was no big deal. I agree with Nancy. I didn't go to a nutritionist but the best way I have found to keep the weight off is to write down everything you eat in a journal. It is a little time consuming and tedious but it works. When I stopped doing it for a while, the weight came right back. I am almost down to my goal weight and I'm still keeping track of everything. I'm not perfect and I do cheat but in moderation. I still have pizza every Friday and ice cream is my downfall (but I have found Reduced Fat Turkey Hill Strawberry Cheesecake) which I love and is half the fat what I used to eat. When I turned 40 was when I started strength training (had never done it before in my life) and it has really helped me. What works for me is heavy lifting, not too much cardio and clean eating. I have also rediscovered yoga which I haven't done in years and I feel really good after doing a yoga workout (mind, body & soul.)Between both my parents they have heart disease, diabetes and cancer and I'm determined not to go that route after seeing what they have gone through.
Good luck to you and Happy Birthday in advance!
Marcy
I was a little bummed when I turned 40 too but I just turned 42 and it was no big deal. I agree with Nancy. I didn't go to a nutritionist but the best way I have found to keep the weight off is to write down everything you eat in a journal. It is a little time consuming and tedious but it works. When I stopped doing it for a while, the weight came right back. I am almost down to my goal weight and I'm still keeping track of everything. I'm not perfect and I do cheat but in moderation. I still have pizza every Friday and ice cream is my downfall (but I have found Reduced Fat Turkey Hill Strawberry Cheesecake) which I love and is half the fat what I used to eat. When I turned 40 was when I started strength training (had never done it before in my life) and it has really helped me. What works for me is heavy lifting, not too much cardio and clean eating. I have also rediscovered yoga which I haven't done in years and I feel really good after doing a yoga workout (mind, body & soul.)Between both my parents they have heart disease, diabetes and cancer and I'm determined not to go that route after seeing what they have gone through.
Good luck to you and Happy Birthday in advance!
Marcy
nancy324
Cathlete
I just wanted to jump in again to agree with dorothy. I know it's a cliche, but my life really did begin at 40. I met my husband when I was 40, found a great job at age 42, moved into a great apartment and had a lovely wedding at age 45, and FINALLY started to put some money in the bank somewhere in there. Now, at age 51, I can honestly say that my forties were far and away the best decade of my life (so far ).
).I just finished reading Body for Life, and for whatever reason it has really helped me get control of my eating.
The one thing I have found that REALLY works for me is to not even tell myself that I can have just one of anything. One Oreo leads to ten for me, the same with Hershey Kisses...anything. If I taste it, I have to have it! I have gone two weeks so far with doing this and it has helped wonders. I would eat a container of Edy's ice cream in less than a week. Thank God I don't have weight issues but I do know that my nutrition is keeping me from seeing the results I want.
I let myself have one day where I let myself go wild. Tomorrow we have a birthday party with lots of goodies and that's my cheat day. Sunday I'm back on track!
Hope this helps!
The one thing I have found that REALLY works for me is to not even tell myself that I can have just one of anything. One Oreo leads to ten for me, the same with Hershey Kisses...anything. If I taste it, I have to have it! I have gone two weeks so far with doing this and it has helped wonders. I would eat a container of Edy's ice cream in less than a week. Thank God I don't have weight issues but I do know that my nutrition is keeping me from seeing the results I want.
I let myself have one day where I let myself go wild. Tomorrow we have a birthday party with lots of goodies and that's my cheat day. Sunday I'm back on track!
Hope this helps!