Too Thin?

B

BayouGal

Cathlete
Okay, I really don't think that I am too thin. I have never posted my own message before, but I have been lurking for the past 6 to 8 months. I have been a Cathe devotee for about a year, and have noticed great results, especially since using the Pure Strength series. The opinion I wanted from the educated crowd is this, "How do you respond to friends and family who are telling you that you are getting too thin?"

I am getting really tired of hearing this, and I think I look more cut and defined lately, not too thin. I am between 5'7" and 5'8" and weigh about 143. My clothes alternate between a 6 and an 8. I have not lost any more weight recently, but it seems like my clothes are a little bigger. I just wonder how other people deal with these comments, especially when you feel that you look more atletic and lean, not too thin. Thanks for any input.
 
BayouGal,
You sound like a lean machine. Perfectly healthy. Have you dropped any weight recently though? Or have you just leaned out some. I am similiar height and weight as you, and I get that too. In fact, at one time, I was much thinner, and now that I got the muscle I still hear it.

I think it boils down to the fact that people can get pretty jealous. This is just my opinion. I have some so-called friends who still tell me I have "a problem". The solution, don't let them bother you. You know you are lean, strong, and healthy. You have nothing to prove to anyone. They are just jealous of your determination and results. I say as long as you are menstrating, you are doing everything right. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about your progress. You will always run into someone who wants to sabotage your results. I am no expert or anything, but just speaking from experience.

Good luck to you and enjoy your results!

Christine
 
While I totally understand this is frustrating for you, I have a slightly different perspective. It may not be jealousy that motivates these people to comment or a desire to sabotage you, but rather true concern for your well-being. We live in a society where many women are literally starving themselves to death, all the while believing themselves to be fat ( or at least, not skinny ). We've learned to our sorrow that there really is such a thing as being too thin ( although I think the jury is still out on whether or not you can be too rich ;-) ).

What I would do in your position is get a checkup from your doctor and talk frankly about these comments. Then when these concerns come up from family and friends, you can not only tell them that you're eating like a horse ( Which you probably are to maintain all that muscle :) ), but that you've seen your doctor, discussed your weight and that s/he isn't concerned. If you treat their concerns as legitimate, the pressure may be let off some.

If, however, the doctor expresses some concern as well, it may be time to think about looking over your eating habits and make sure that you really are taking in enough calories to maintain that gorgeous muscle tone. You certainly don't want your body to start chewing up the muscles you've worked so hard to achieve! :)

Have a great day!

Erin
 
Speaking of too thin... I saw something on TV about the internet being a tool for anorexic people to share information. I got curious. I went to Yahoo discussion forums and sure enough there were two forums set up specifically for people wanting to become anorexic and sharing tips on how to purge and starve. Some of the messages were 13 and 14 year olds! I was shocked reading some of the stories because I am used to this forum where the emphasis is on health and being strong and not "thinness". There were specific posts titled "how can I loose more muscle". I am so sad for these women. Anyway... I don't know what you look like exactly but I am 5'3" and I weigh 120 lbs. So, if I added 5 pounds to my weight for each inch, that would make me 5'7" and 140 pounds. I have not been accused of being too thin in a few years but I am healthy (both looking and feeling). I weighed around 110 when I was told that. I know it must make you concerned for people to tell you that you are too thin. I totally agree that you should ask your doctor and see what happens. Also, let your energy and overall health be your guide. If you stay sick a lot or you have no energy, perhaps you need more food and more weight. If not, you might be just right. I still think a doctor's opinion or perhaps a personal trainer would be valuable. All this is just my opinion of course.
 
I agree that it may be jealousy prompting those unwanted remarks. I don't know what your build is, but that weight doesn't seem too out of line. Cory Everson, the body building goddess, has said that she, at 5'8", weighs 145. So there.

How do you handle such remarks? In my brassy old age, my favorite comeback for unwanted and uninvited remarks is: "Thanks for the opinion. I don't remember asking for it!" Knocks them back on their heels!!!
 
Thanks Christine, Erin, RBurke, and Honeybunch,
I appreciate all your comments. Everything seems fine healthwise, regular periods, rarely sick, lots of energy. I have pretty good eating habits most of the time and indulge from time to time in junk food. I definitely do not starve myself. I will take your advice though as far as a doctor's visit is concerned, because I am overdue for a check-up. It would be good to be able to comment to people that my doctor does not have any concerns. Honeybunch, I will take your advice to heart as far as telling people that I didn't ask for their opinion. Thanks everyone for the input...
 
Hi, I am the same height and weight as you. I sometimes get the too thin comment, always from sedentary older relatives who say my face is too thin, or from chubby women at work that believe I don't need to lose weight so why do I work out so much. I have high cheekbones so my face may look "better" at a higher weight, but who cares? I feel great, I look so much better than my peer group it's pathetic (I am 44 and my peers look like lumpy potatoes, I have no health problems like they do). I have energy like when I was 17. Many have the idea that the only reason to exercise is to be thin. If I keep doing it, I must have some psychological problem. I just enjoy being healthy and fit, and not looking like other people my age! And I have a lot invested in my muscles,it takes time to maintain them. If they think I'm too thin, it does not concern me at all. I personally think I could lose another ten pounds of fat if I wanted to starve and exercise 2 hrs a day, but am happy the way I am. I don't think they're jealous, just ignorant.
 
I could not help but comment again, because so much of what you said hit the mark. I am 33 and I find that many of the women that I work with are lumpy potatoes. Most of the comments have been from older relatives and overweight co-workers. The other comment that hit the mark was the one about continuing to work out even though I don't need to lose more weight. It is amazing to me the number of people who think you should only exercise if you need to lose weight. I work with several people who only exercise and lose weight for some special event or trip, then stop exercising only to gain the weight back again. And you are right about these people thinking that you have some sort of psychological problem if you keep working out. I would be so much more stressed out if I didn't work out...Thanks for your comments...
 
One More Suggestion

Everyone's given you great, sound advice, BayouGal, and I agree with all of it. I totally agree with Honeybunch that some people need to be bluntly put into their places with a well-chosen comeback (and I love what she suggested.)

I just want to offer one other suggestion: I expect that not everyone who voices a concern to you about your weight, exercise routine, eating habits, etc. does so in an obnoxious way -- I'm sure there are some people who you can tell are struggling to express concern to you in a "nice" way and who really do have good intentions. (This would include your family, I'm sure.) For those people, and you'll know who they are, I suggest that you look them straight in the eye and thank them directly for their concern. And then, as has been suggested to you, tell them that you're very careful with your health and have spoken to your own doctor about food, exercise, etc.

That way the people who are NOT jealous, who are really speaking out of care for you, will feel reassured that you've heard them loud and clear and acknowledge and appreciate their issues. Sometimes just making someone know that their message has been heard is all it takes to silence them (at least for a while :)!)

Welcome to the yakkers here -- glad to have you post and/or lurk. You'll truly find this to be an educated and caring crowd -- with definite opinions!



Kathy S.
 
RE: One More Suggestion

Good advice KathyS. One of my grandmothers, age 98, who weighs about 75 pounds tells me I am too thin. I love her very much. I believe the reason she says it is that she is so very old that when she was young it looked healthy and fashionable to be a little plump. I just smile and say "I don't think I'm too thin, don't worry", and I don't hear it again for 6 months or so. As I was working out earlier (Cardio Kicks) I thought that as far as the potato-people saying it, it might be that if we, the not-fat, continue to exercise, it raises the bar for them. They already feel that they need to lose weight, now if they use us as an example, even that is not enough. I think they may be saying "Hey! Stop making it even harder for us to feel OK about our lifestyle choices. You're too thin."
 
Some "potato people" do work out!!

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Jul-13-01 AT 06:57PM (Est)[/font][p]I doubt that you meant to be offensive, but I am an overweight person who exercises regularly and I'm sure that there are others out there like me. I just happen to make poor food choices along with having an endocrine disorder.
BayouGirl, I do understand how you feel, when I used to be a size 6/8, people always felt comfortable commenting on my body size, what I ate, how much I exercised, etc. When I gained a lot of weight last year, I got no comments at all on my body size. It's funny how people don't hesitate to tell you that you are too thin, but won't say a word to you when you get too fat.
By the way, HB - I love your retort - it's perfect!! And I also liked the idea of getting a doctor's approval so that you can tell people who are truly concerned about your health that you are absolutely fine the way you are.
Erica
 
RE: Flex for them

and tell them that starving people certainly do not have muscles like these!

Your weight for your height sounds pretty on target to me. I have heard those comments before but I do not hear them so much anymore (could have been those recently gained 5 lbs. :)) Seriously, though once people get used to seeing the fit (I much prefer fit to thin) you, they will comment less and less. In the past, my mother and others have said, "Why are you exercising, you don't need to lose weight, or you are already thin enough - why exercise?". I usually reply to these people that the reason I don't need to lose weight is because I exercise regularly. Maintenance, maintenance - ask them if they would quit giving their cars oil changes because it had one - one time a while back.

I once had a friend who was at least 40 lb. overweight tell me that I looked "gaunt" to which I flexed my hard, cut bicep at her and said it takes a lot of good healthy food to feed these muscles. I was a bit annoyed but glad to be me and got over it fairly quickly.

Kim

Kim
 
RE: Flex for them

That's what I do!! My family is constantly telling me that a good stiff wind will blow me away! I'm 5'1" and 105lbs. Nobody in my family exercises but me! When I hear this I flex and say "I'm strong, no wind will blow me away!" My older brother has recently become impressed with my results, not enough to work out himself, but he now helps defend me when other family members tell me I'm too skinny!


Aimee

P.S. My biceps are now bigger than my twin brother's! That's something I'm proud of! No more picking on "little sister!"
 
RE: Flex for them

It does certainly bear repetition that many fatter people are healthy and fit. I fully support them. And there are some fatter people in the process of getting in shape who's efforts I support. The people I was referring to are in neither of these categories. They are overweight, out-of-shape, overeaters who think of fitness as an obsessive comical aberration and I would wager are hoping we all learn to think fat is fine and fat and thin are just like blue eyes and brown eyes with no aesthetic meaning at all. "We're all beautiful. We're all people." They imply I am some sort of elitist because I keep exercising when I am "already thin enough" like I'm doing it just to make them feel bad. If they feel bad, I certainly do not care. But I am not trying to offend anyone who is fit, regardless of their body size.
 
You have a healthy weight. It's the crab effect. If you put a bunch of live crabs in a bucket and one of them tries to climb out the others will try to pull him back in.
 
I'm reading this thread and just had to comment. I'm seeing first-hand how incredibly insensitive people can be with my sister's fabulous fitness/weightloss progress. I get so offended and angry when people make inane comments or are insanely jealous at her progress. She's 5'9" and has started a running program with me as her "trainer." After 5 weeks of running and eating what I prepare for her to take to work, she's dropped at least another 30 pounds...she began her quest back in March by eating right (she weighed 275 pounds.) She's almost ready to break the 200 pound mark and she looks great. I'm so proud of her I could just burst. But people who SHOULD be happy for her sometimes almost can't even LOOK at her without making jealous comments. So, all you fit women out there...I'm with Honeybunch when it comes to retorts...
Amy
 
But really, how offensive can it be to hear their jealous remarks? :) It's like if someone angrily says "Your stomach is too flat." "You're too healthy, aren't you worried you might feel too good?" or "OOOO Yuk! Your thighs aren't jiggling!" Let's get some perspective. I'm sure rich people quickly learn to brush off comments from people who are angry that they have "too much money" Oh well! Suck it up! :)
 
Hi BayouGal!

Until I somehow gained 10lbs in 2 months last year, I weighed about 140. I'm almost 5'8". Funny no one ever told me I was too thin. I'm certain I must not have as much muscle as you. I was a size 8/10 (now a 10/12). You sound like the perfect size to me! You must have some serious muscle to weigh 143 and wear a size 6. When I told people I weighed 140 they would say no way! Some people think 140 is a lot. I guess it might be if you had no muscle. Have you told them how much you weigh? Some may think you weigh much less. It might hush them up, and see what muscles can do for you!

Good Luck!
Keep liftin'

Susan
 
I agree that it does seem too weird to weigh what I do and still wear a size 6/8. I wear a 6 in dress pants and an 8 in jeans, and generally it depends on how the sizes run. Anyway, sometimes I mention to people how much I weigh and they tend to be surprised. I carry more weight in my lower body, large butt and thighs, but have a small waist and upper body. I do have kind of broad shoulders, so I look fairly proportioned. But anyway, I have gotten a lot of good advice here and I appreciate it.

As to the comments about being overweight and still fit, I totally agree that there are plenty of people who are very fit and still overweight. For a very long time, I was one of them. I have lost between 40 to 50 pounds over a three year time period, and I hit a lot of plateaus during that time. So in thinking about the particular person who told me that I was getting too thin, I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that she has seen me so much heavier over the years, and is kind of afraid that I won't stop losing. I can appreciate that most comments are made out of concern for my well-being.

Thanks for everyone's comments, and I will certainly keep lifting.
 
Grandmas

That reminds me of my grandmother, who died years ago at the age of 89, almost 90. All of the women on my mother's side of the family were a bit lumpy, including Grandma (who was from the "old country" and spoke Tchech on the phone with friends.) When I told her years ago that I had become a vegetarian and I didn't eat chicken, etc., she pretty much accepted it. But when I later told her (during a very "clean eating" period) that I didn't eat sugar, she looked at me with a shocked expression and said with amazement "You DON'T eat SUGAR??!!" ;-)
Another time, she told me not that I was too thin, but "You're not getting fat"! The way she said it was as if that were a bad thing.

As for people saying you're too thin, what are they comparing you to, their lumpy selves and the standard american body that is out of shape?
 
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