Tomorrow, December 1st....

allwildgirl

allwildgirl

Cathlete
Is the 9th anniversary of my brother's death. It was sudden and unexpected and I always miss him terribly at this time of year. He was 13 years older than me, so I didn't know him well until I was older (when I was 5, he left home to join the Navy). There is a song that I associate with my feelings at the time he died. I'm posting the lyrics here.

Thanks for letting me share.

Leave It Alone - Moist

I'd walk the water to get back to you
and where I was complete
we found you scattered by the highway side too
soon to be released
gathered the pieces up and clean the places
where you were undone
and washed the wreckage out unfinished all the
thoughts that we'd begun

I came to burn the sky and tear away
the beauty that it sows
if I could rape the day and find the things I thought
I'd always known

leave it alone again tonight

I laid your arms out long untwisted there
and shaped what I could find
unmade the most of it and then left the rest
the parts unrecognized
my reconstruction was the only way
for one last look at you
i lost the sense of absolution
that we never knew

leave it alone again tonight
leave it alone again tonight

and it takes me back from this place here
it takes me back from this place here

I came to burn the sky and tear away
the beauty that it sows
I came to rape the day and find the things
I thought I'd always known

leave it alone again tonight

and it takes me back from this place here
from this place here it takes me over
and it might be lost in this place here
from this place here it takes me on

tonight leave it alone
 
Shelley, warm hugs and thoughts regarding your brother and memories of him. I've been very fortunate not to have lost any close loved ones unexpectedly. (My dad and FIL were hard losses, but to be expected in the scheme of life.)He was lucky to have you as a baby sister, and to have you keep his memory alive.
 
i am sorry shelley. (((((HUGS)))))
kassia



When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be
disappointed to discover they are not it -- Bernard Bailey
 
Shelley,

I'm so sorry to hear this. Thank you for sharing with us. Means alot that you are willing to open up about something sooo very personal and painful. You know if you need to "talk" tomorrow that we will all be here for you!!!:*
 
Thank you all. You know, it really does help to know that I can talk about these things and people will listen.

It was very unexpected and sudden, as I mentioned, and I never got to say goodbye. I think that makes it more difficult to let go, somehow.
 
Awe, Shelley,

I know your brother looks upon you and smiles--as we all do. I;m sure you were a delight to him as you are to us.

Michele
 
Shelley!!!!! I'm in tears right now.

I had no idea you lost a brother. Shelley, I lost my younger brother 2 years ago. We were only 10 1/2 months apart...Irish twins. I miss him so much and have dreams about him all the time.

He passed on 9/2/03 and it was unexpected as well. I remember being in such shock and in a cold sweat for hours. I couldn't eat or sleep for at least a week. I cried and cried and still cry sometimes. It gets easier as time goes by, but I miss him so much.

If you ever need to talk about it, I'm here.

(((((HUGS))))
 
Shelley,
Gosh I am so sorry you lost your brother. The lyrics to that song are so beautiful and heartfelt. Music is wonderful that way, it can take you to a place that can be so sad but yet uplifting in a way. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and I hope you can find some peace with your loss. Thanks for sharing with all of us.:)

Susan
 
A sudden, unexpected death is a difficult thing to deal with and I am sorry that you have to deal with this. My father died the same way & it is always hard to make sense of it all, especially this time of year. My heart goes out to you and I hope that tomorrow, you can laugh at the good times rather than be sad. It's hard but your brother would want that for you.

((((hugs))))
 
Shelley,

I'm sooo sorry to hear that you lost a brother 9 years ago. We are all here to support you in any way you need. Thank you for sharing the song with us.

Hugs to you!
Lorrayne
 
Hey Shelley,

I am so sorry about this sad anniversary. December 1st marks the 8th month since my dad passed away unexpectedly. I am dreading the Christmas holiday. I received this poem from a friend when Dad died, and it is sad but comforting.

I am wishing you comfort tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you.


When Tomorrow Starts Without Me~


When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me,
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me to;
But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand
Than an angel came and called my name, and took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready, in heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,
For all life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.

I had too much to live for, so much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.

So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me, I 'm right here, in your heart ~
 
Shelley -

I will be thinking of you tomorrow! We have much in common. My sister was 10 years older than me, so when I was 8 she left for college. When I was 17 she got married and I was her maid of honor -- when I was 18 she died unexpectedly. I am now 37 - so this was almost 20 years ago. I'm still not over over it! :(

My mom passed away a few years ago and everyone was so sympathic, but it never really felt like it did when I lost my sister. I guess, because we all assume someday we will lose our parents, whereas I never dreamed I would lose my sister. I also don't know anyone else who has lost a sibling - so it is hard to find people who relate.

I LOVE the song and I'm sure your brother would too. You will be in my thoughts tomorrow!

Take care,
Michelle
 
After reading my post I want to make myself clear that I am in no way saying that losing a parent is easy -- that was hard too -- I'm just saying it was a 'different' type of loss.

My heart goes out to ALL of you during this time who have lossed loved ones!

Michelle
 
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