Those darn men!

E

exercise forever

Cathlete
My daughter and I went to eat lunch today after shopping. There were contruction workers in there getting lunch. Well I notice when I'm standing in line that these guys were staring at her. I really didn't know what to do. These dirty men are starring at a 13 yr. old girl. I know she looks like she's 16, but my good lord. They knew I saw them, and that is might crude to look the mother in the eye while still starring at your daughter. what am I supposed to do when this happens? I figure I should keep my mouth shut unless it was to become just looking. Because if anyone one of them came up to my daughter, they would see my head spin around like the exorcist.

Just wanted to share that and wondered if you have ever been in that situation and how did you handle it.

kim
 
I've never been in that situation, but it does sound uncomfortable at the very least. I think one of the effects of the media showing young girls as so sexy (teen models made up like adults, Britney Spears "schoolgirl" image back in the day, and beauty contests for 5 years olds who are made-up and dressed like little hos) is that men can start seeing all young women as objects of their less-than-fatherly attention. Ick!
 
Yeah, my daughter dresses her age and I am glad of that. You would think with her being so young that it would not be a problem. But you're right, so many other girls has ruined it for nice respectful teenagers. I also did not let her know that she was being starred at. I'm afraid that it would make her feel uncomfortable.

Thanks,

kim
 
i am not a mother, but if i were you i would try to just be proud that she is beautiful. there will always be men staring, but that's not a crime, so focus on the positive and scowl at them if it will make you feel better;-)


jes
 
jes you are a trip girl.

I get what you're saying, but they should be starring at someone their own age. If it was teenage boys I would think that is bad enough, but these are grown men.

I know what you mean. Starring has never hurt anyone.


kim
 
As a person, I'd say so what?? Who cares if those guys check out your daughter but as a mom, I'd say to them what the f**k are you looking at?? :p But you did say your daughter look much older than her age. How are they going to know that? When I was 13, I looked older for my age mainly because I was tall and somewhat fully developed so the guys were perverts. I used to complain to my mom about it and she said it's because I looked older than my age. People don't know how old you are unless you tell them. Yes, media is to blame as well because they try to make kids look older than they are. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. After all, men are pigs. They see a good looking or fully developed chick, they're going to oggle them no matter what. It's a part of human nature. I'd just teach your daughter to steer clear from them and teach her what is ok and what is not ok. If she has a very good common sense, she'd be fine. Also, make sure she knows how to do kickboxing. :7

Lisa
 
Hey Lisa,

I truly wanted to make the comment you wrote at the beginning of your reply. Yes she looks older that what she is but not old enough that they can't use their brains. but I really have calmed down a bit about this whole thing. sometimes I get so protective that I lose it sometimes. I guess I'll get a grip on this teenage crap one day.

Thanks alot for your feedback and everyones.

kim
 
That happened to me when I was 13, funny enough, but I was with my Dad. He walked up to the guys and said some very profain and absolute words that got their attention and made them look ANYWHERE else. It was pretty embarassing, but it is funny when I think about it now.

My daughter is going to be a looker, I am afraid. I am just like me dad, sorry to say for my daughter, but I will probably be walking around with an oozie since a mother's verbal lashing doesn't have the same impact as a father's. But I know the right thing to do would be to ignore it so that she doesn't feel self consious about the way she looks, or arrogant for that matter, blah blah blah. I would rather shoot them.

Missy
 
Hey missy,

Yes I was suprised that I didn't mouth off, since everyone says I pretty much would say anything. I think the older I get the more laid back I am. But I guess if I was pushed too hard, I will come out swinging. Listen to me I should really stop. But I am glad there are some who feel the way I do.

I didn't let her know that they were starring, because I am scared she would be self-conscious when she would go out.

It really is a b**ch being the parent of a teenager. But I wouldn't take nothing for her.

kim
 
keep a water gun in your purse and squirt em' in the eye next time! that'll get their attention!:p mace would be memorable too i bet}(


jes
 
Or maybe, Kim, in the alternative you could squirt them in the area that needs the most cooling off.

A-Jock
 
I do understand you completely, I have fought with old men because they came up to my daughter, who is only 14, in a pizzeria once, he just said to her: "young women like me a lot, they come to me"... so I did spin my head like the exorcist and told him to shut the hell up and scram, as a good jerk he was of course, he cursed me back calling me old fart, so what to do? police wasnt around, and things like this made me mad! but I do know one thing, not all men are assholes the good ones do not do things like this in public places, only the JERKS! THE WOMENIZERS, THE SONS OF BITCHES.
The older I get the more I love me.

http://www.geocities.com/norma123nyc/MyJourney.html
 
Kim -

I have 2 teenage daughters at home. I would try sweetly explaining to them how much time they could do for soliciting a minor. If that didn't work, I'd get nasty and warn them to back off or I'll gauge their eyes out while simultaneously affecting the future of their offspring by intimately meeting their twins with my foot.


Angie
 
>but I do know one thing, not all men are assholes the
>good ones do not do things like this in public places, only
>the JERKS! THE WOMENIZERS, THE SONS OF BITCHES.

http://www.phpbbforfree.com/forums/images/smiles/agreed.gif
http://www.phpbbforfree.com/forums/images/smiles/038.gif

I completely agree! Not all men are pigs like that.

This is what I would have done to those jerks!http://www.phpbbforfree.com/forums/images/smiles/bitchslap.gif http://www.phpbbforfree.com/forums/images/smiles/threaten.gif
 
Do the ol' "scratch your nose with your middle finger trick".

I guess it's best not to say anything. While you'd rather these men not be men, you don't want to embarrass your daughter. I might make a face at them like, "what the heck to you think you're doing?" They might get the hint, or they might not. Still, there's no harm in them looking. As long as she is oblivious to it and they do nothing more than look. It's when they start yelling things that you should step in.
 
I agree with Donna - I think it's good you didn't bring it to your daughter's attention. If you had yelled a comment at them, she would've known what's going on. While staring isn't a crime, I think the it can cause bad feelings - for example, yours, as a mother. But at 13 your daughter may not know what to feel if she knew or saw these older men looking at her that way.
However, the ol' finger action Donna discribes above can be done silently, and where your daughter wouldn't see it!!
 
Hey Kim,

I have two daughters, now 21 & 18. One day my daughters & I were walking home from the gym and my youngest was wearing a Roca Wear jacket. Mind you she's very hippy, which is why she gets a lot of cat calls. Well anyway these two young men around 21-22 were calling out, "Yo Roca Wear" and said something else I couldn't make out. Well I stopped, turned around and looked at both of them and said, "Roca Wear" is a only a baby" and their reply was a surprised "Oh yeah" and they turned around without saying anything else.

Things like that piss me off. Another time a couple of guys (6'4?) me (5'4) in the train station grabbed at my oldest, and I went in between the both of them and broke his grip and gave him such a look, he put his hands up in the air and said "Damn". Although my oldest was 20 at the time, I didn't care b/c that is so disrespectful.


http://www.PictureTrail.com/haydee1

Haydee
 
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