Things our kids say!!

Hilarious!

No kids, but here's one about my nephew, N, age 8. He and his best friend, also 8, and my niece, 7, are sitting around my sister's table having lunch. They start teasing each other about "you're in love with so and so." "No! You're in love with so and so!" as kids do. My niece says to the friend, "Oh yeah, well you and N are in love with each other!" The friend says "Ew! No we aren't! Boys don't get in love with boys!" At which point my nephew chimes in with "Sometimes they do! Sometimes boys fall in love with boys and girls fall in love with girls! What's that called again, mom? Ambidextrous?"

:D

Sparrow

My garden is filled with papayas and mangos
My life is a mixture of reggaes and tangos
Taste for the good life, I can live it no other way
- Jimmy Buffett
 
Oh this had me howling! I love kids - they keep things interesting... Except teenagers - they make them TOO interesting... LOL

My DD was 4 when she came home from Montessouri school tired and frustrated. She walks into the house and throws her stuffed Tasmanian Devil doll on the wicker rocker and says, "Mom, Taz is having a bad chair day!"

Later in the year we were driving down the road and saw a beggar. I said something to the affect of "There but for the grace of God go I." She wanted to know what I meant, so I went into a discussion about how I was blessed and how because of my job and family, we would most likely not have to beg. Then I finished with the superstitious, "Knock on wood." Anna looks up at me with as much seriousness as a 4 yo can muster and said, "Mommy, don't knock on wood! Don't you know the wood weirdos will get you?"
 
These are super hilarious!!! I love kids SOOO much:)

DH and I don't have any yet, but he does have two little cousins who keep us in stitches during family events.

When his cousin Katie was 3 or so (she's 7 now) she couldn't pronounce his sister's name (Beth) and so she started calling her "Cousin Butt."

Lately, she has started writing and illustrating her own books about a character called "I, the duck" they are priceless. Book #1 was all about how to get candy, lol:7

When my best friend was a little kid, the first time her parents ever took her to the ocean she looked out to sea and said "Juice!" I cried laughing the first time I heard this one:+

Mattea
 
I read this in Reader's Digest years ago. It was in one of those sections where people send in something funny that happened to them.

Some people had family friends visiting overnight and the wife wanted their company to be comfortable so gave them the master bedroom to sleep in while she and her husband slept in their daughter's room. In the middle of the night their 5 year old son went into his parent's bedroom where the guests were sleeping and whispered "Mom....Mom." The visiting wife woke up and told him that his mother was sleeping in his sister's room so the little boy says "Dad....Dad."!
 
My DD and I were returning from a petting zoo one afternoon and talking about the animals we had seen. She must have been around 3 at the time.
Me...the pigs were squealing saying "wee, wee, wee"
DD...What were the pigs saying?
Me...I don't know, what do you think they were saying?
DD...I think they were asking your name--they didn't know your name was Mama, but I now your name is Mama!


Debra

Bite off more than you can chew. Then chew it---Ella Williams
 
This happened this morning while I was cleaning DD's room:

DS comes up to me with DS#1s handcuffs and wants me to put them on him. So I do, because I want to see what how he will react... he realizes that he can't move his hands seperately and I hear him getting frustrated, so he comes to me to take them off. I take them off, and he very promptly tells me "I don want, put it trash; put in trash NOW!" :p

Missy
 
These are great. My son who is 4 is the comic in the house. Back in August we walk in my DD's elementary school in FL. He announces to the office staff( who thank goodness knew us) that it was hot as b*lls outside!
Fast forward 2 months, we move to Syracuse, NY and my son walks out of the airport as yells,"I'm freezing my *ss off!"
Needless to say he is no longer allowed to hang around daddy while he is working on projects! Gotta love kids:7
 
hehehe, your b*lls story reminded me of something my son said just a few weeks ago: (this is the last one, I PROMISE!)

we were having "the talk" and he was asking me questions about something that someone at school said to him. He wanted to know what parts did what and yada yada you know where I am going... so, we are looking at this cute little chart with his reproductive organs on it, we are identifying the parts of what is going on inside and he goes... "but mom? where are the balls at?" I am still laughing about it!!! It was sooooooooo funny!

Missy
 
Not a Mom either, but one of my God-daughters age 7, has become quite observant and sceptic.

We're strolling through the mall:
Me: Look there's Santa. Have you taken your pictures with him this year yet?
GD: Nope, because I don't think these mall guys are the real Santa. A

Me: (Uh-oh) What do you mean by that sweetie?
GD: Well, shouldn't the real Santa be pretty busy helping the elves right now? You know with the sorting and packing of the gifts and stuff? He's the boss right, I think he should be there helping out. My Mom is pretty mad when she comes home and complains that her boss doesn't do anything. But Santa is not like other bosses right? He has to be really good, cause he wants us to be good. And what about his wife. I bet she has to wash, clean and cook for everyone including the pets, he doesn't help her if he's gone all the time.

Me: Pets, what pets?
GD: Duh, the reindeer. I bet reindeer do-do is really gross.

Me: (Oh yeah, duh.) Well I'm sure Mrs. Claus has some help too.
GD: Probably not. I bet she works all day and then has to come home and do house stuff. Santa goes out to work and comes home, eats and, watches tv and sleeps and doesn't even take his plate off the table.

Me: (Help...please let's not have this conversation, not sure what's going on in her home, but I want no part of it. Trying to divert the conversation...) We could go over to the food court and grab something to eat.
GD: And what about that fat guy with the bad red hair, that's trying melt everything. If Santa's not home whose gonna protect everyone from him.

Me: What guy with red hair?
DG: We just watched the movie about him. His brother was the popsicle guy. We'll I watch it, you slept through most of it. Do you know you snore now? Not really loud like my Daddy, but you do snore.

Me: (Sigh) Oh you mean the Heat Miser and the Snow Miser. That was just a made up story about Santa. (We'd watched "The Year Without Santa earlier in the week. I can't believe I'm feeding her this line...a made up story about a made up character)
GD: Uh-uh you are wrong. Who do you think is responsible for global warming?

Me: (Speechless, thank goodness were past Santa by now.)
GD: That is definitely not the real Santa. He didn't bring me half of what I asked for.

She then precedes to list other kids in her class that didn't get what they wanted last year. None of them are taking pictures with Santa this year either...do you smell a conspiracy?
 
I haven't posted in years.... but this post brought me out of lurking.

When my DD was 3, we lived in a small house with a tiny living room. When I would work out, I would have to move most of the furniture into the kitchen.

One evening we were having a really bad thunderstorm and my DD was frightened so I told her "Sweety it's okay, it's just God moving the furniture" and she asks me "Why, is he going to exercise?" :D

Becky
 
Last year for Christmas, my sister and her family came to Philly from Porland, so my husband, my brother and myself went to my father's house to open presents with them all on Christmas morning. When my 2 1/2 year old nephew heard that Santa had been over, he was obviously excited to come downstairs. When he got downstairs and saw his eight bazillion presents, he actually looked disappointed. We asked him what was wrong and he said, "Where's Santa? Wasn't he gonna open presents too?". Apparently, Santa was even supposed to stay for breakfast.

Kids are great. I don't have any of my own, but my nephew is the little love of my life, that's for sure.

Shelbygirl
 
While camping one weekend, we were preparing breakfast after a night of imbibing a little too much. My friend was complaining to another friend's 4 or 5 year old that her teeth felt like they had sweaters on. After a few seconds, the little girl looked very thoughtful and replied: "Why, are your teeth cold?"
 
This occurred this week on the drive to school. My DD is 8.

DD:*sigh* This Santa thing is confusing.

Me: What do you mean?

DD: Well, I don't really think there can be a Santa because elves couldn't really build an MP3 player.

Me: Well, then, what do you believe?

DD: I don't know because I know that you don't buy all those presents because you and dad are too cheap! :eek: :eek: :eek:
 
My 8 year old was 3 and just got done watching the little mermaid. His name is Eric and I asked if he was going to marry a princess one day. He said "geez mom, how do I know, I'm just a little kid!

When Eric was 3 he got a little stuffed dog for a gift, my MIL asked, what's the doggy's name? He didn't even pause a second and replied "nosebrain". His name is still nosebrain.

He made up a word when he was about 3, "conigulous". When we asked him what it meant, he said, "the circle inside the wham-a-dam". Eric was always pretty sharp!

Sally
 
The discussions on Santa reminds me of the first Easter my DH and I spent as a family. We each had daughter, Maja (pronounced Maya) was 9 at the time. Anna 5. Maja’s mom has different ideas about Santa and the Easter Bunny than I do, and told Maja at a young age that neither existed. Anna was talking excitedly about the Easter Bunny coming for a visit, and Maja decided that she should do her first duty as a big sister and let the younger one know the truth. Anna, with all the wisdom of a 5 yo, said, “No, that’s not true. As long as you believe in the bunny, he will believe in you and he will visit you. If you don’t believe, he won’t visit.” Now, by this time, Maja is in tears because she thinks that in my family, you have to believe in the Bunny to get anything and because she doesn’t believe, she’ll be left out. My mom and I had to work hard to straighten that one out.

Ironically, Anna is now 13 (14 at month’s end) and still believes in Santa and the Easter Bunny. No, she does not think that Santa comes down the chimney and leaves presents, but she does believe in what Santa represents. And she has convinced Maja that she is right, which I have come to learn, is a huge gift to Maja, as the poor thing was forced to grow up much sooner than she should have because her mother is not the best of parents and expected her to take care of herself from a very young age. She now lives with us full time and while the two are as different as night and day, they get along famously because Maja gives Anna (the tomboy) tips on how to be a young lady, and Anna allows Maja to be the kid she never was.
 
Hilarious thread! I don't have kids, but my husbands nieces are good for a laugh:

Kelly was @4 when my my husbands family rented a place at the beach in MD one summer. We'd spent the whole day on the sand, walking the boardwalk, etc, and we were really tired. Everyone's hanging around the apartment, and Kelly just keeps crying. Her mom is trying to figure out what's wrong, did she hurt herself, etc, and Kelly yells out: 'Leave my alone! I just want to be angry!'

Her little sister Rachel was at the store with her mom buying gift for a friend's child who had been really sick and just gotten home from a long hospital stay. They're buying some kind of toy, and Rachel decides that she wants a toy too. (I think she was about 3 at the time?) I guess she was on the verge of tantrum and kept saying she wanted a toy, she wanted a toy, on and on. Her mom tells her over and over- no toy. Then Rachel asks why so-and-so's kid can have a toy and she can't. Her mom Tracey explains that child was sick and that's why they're buying her a toy. So Rachel starts saying that she's sick too. When her mother tells her stop saying that, Rachel starts screaming in the middle of the store: 'I'M BLIND! I'M BLIND!' Tracey was totally mortified.

cristina
 
One more- This happened over 30 years ago, but it still brings a smile to my face. My nephew was napping at my parents (his grandparents) house and my dad -grandpa- was getting ready to go to work (the afternoon shift). My nephew was watching him change and asked him what he was doing. "I'm changing my pants" my dad told him. My nephew then asked "Why? Did you do pee pee in them?"
 
Gotta a new one...

The boys are in the basement playroom, I'm upstairs in the kitchen...

Mac says, "Let's do something fun like acid.":eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Quickly, but oh so calmly, I hauled it downstairs to investigate as I had a vision into the future of a miserable drug death in an alley. Turns out that "acid" is a rhythm on their keyboard...whew.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top