The back-talking is back! HELP!!

pjlippert

pjlippert

Cathlete
Hi Cathletes,

So, for whatever reason my DS's back-talking is back and worse than ever! I'm talking with a vengance!!! :( Now, I will preface by saying it's the worst first thing in the morning before his ADHD meds have kicked in fully. But I'm totally burnt out on the crappy-mood fest almost every morning!

Tell me your thoughts on this... He earns money for helping me around my office and doing extra chores. So, I took the $5 he earned this past week, cashed it in for quarters and created a naughty & nice jar. Everytime he spouts off, uses profanity, talks back, etc.. I take away a quarter. Wellllllll, this doesn't seem to be working all that well - the past two days he has lost ALL $5 by 10am!!! :mad:

He managed to earn a couple of dollars back by doing some things without having to be told... then just before bed, he lost that as well!

HELP!!! I'm at a total loss as to what to do. Last week, he was grounded from his fav activity- Karate and that worked for a few days. But it came back like hellfire!

Gals, I'm lost as to what to do.

Thank you.
Pam
 
Bring it to his karate instructor, they should be able to help you set him straight. It worked on my cousin Robert when we were kids. He was turned around and ended up going into the air force and is now a physical therapist, married and has a little one of his own. So, don't despair;)
 
He is eight with the mouthiness of a 14 year old! :rolleyes:

I will definitely talk to his karate instructor. That's a great idea since he really respects and looks up to him! You all are awesome!

Thank you!
Pam
 
We have a 13 year old and 9 year old boys and 8 yo girl. The only thing that has ever worked for us is the "naughty chair", call it what ever you want, "reflection chair" is a more positive name if you like. I took awhile but the kids finally got the idea and we do not have a problem in our home. Sometimes when you take things away from your child, you find out that what was taken away really doesn't mean as much as you thought it would so the "punishment" doesn't mean as much. We got the idea from Super Nanny and it does work but you need to be consistant. Many times we watch the show as a family so the kids can see what they look like during a tempertantrum.

Good Luck!
Diane
 
Just a thought.....instead of taking money out of the jar how about putting money in that jar when he does something without attitude. If money is not that meaningful to him right now....find out what is and work with that. Also.......maybe a visual schedule would help him with his day........just something that lets him see what his day looks like instead of verbally telling him.

Also......there are a couple of books at Amazon that are really good. One is called "Dude, don't be Rude" and the other is "Don't Behave Like You Live in a Cave". They are published for kids and are quite good.

Like I said...just a thought............

Karenl
 
Hi Pam,

Like Karen said, try finding him doing good. So, if he does something helpful, talks politely/nicely, follows directions, make a fuss about it. I find that when I "catch" my kids doing something nice and comment about it their faces light up and it really encourages them to repeat that positive behavior. Of course we still have to discipline our kids and teach them that bad behavior isn't acceptable but really noticing those moments when they do well and letting them know how happy it makes us, the positive discipline I guess, is very effective too.

Hang in there :) ((((Hugs))))

Tracy
 
My mother always used the old bar of soap in the mouth. I don't recall if it worked but I recall that nasty soap.

Has he ever seen a therapist? Maybe he can learn some better ways to deal with his moods and aggression. Where is he picking up the language and the attitude? Peers, tv, parents, etc? Can you try to remove the "bad influences?"
 
Soap in the mouth

NY25 said:
My mother always used the old bar of soap in the mouth. I don't recall if it worked but I recall that nasty soap.

Has he ever seen a therapist? Maybe he can learn some better ways to deal with his moods and aggression. Where is he picking up the language and the attitude? Peers, tv, parents, etc? Can you try to remove the "bad influences?"
Click to expand...
I'm quite sure if anyone tried the "soup in the mouth" method of child discipline nowadays, they would be arrested for child abuse!
 
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