Still can't work out

[JAS]

I know it's time to get on with our lives, but I am really having a hard time. I know many of you are finding solace in your workouts. I did RH the day after the attacks, when everything was still numb. I haven't done anything since. I have been experiencing such a change in myself. I always thought that I would still exercise even if no health benefits would come from it just for the joy of doing it. Now I wonder if I was being honest with myself. I no longer think it's all that important to lose those last ten baby pounds. I don't care anymore what size my hips are or if I have extra fat on my arms. I realize now that maybe I thought about it far too much before. I know what the important things are. While I am grateful for this epiphany, I know that I still haven't got it right. I still need to take care of myself, and exercise is such an important part of that. But then I think about all those people, dead or injured who cannot have this joy of movement, and I feel...GUILTY. I think of all those women in Afghanistan who don't even have the feedom to show themselves, much less worry about their bodies. They worry about how to feed their children. Why did I never think about how BLESSED we are? My husband is a Marine. I worry about his safety and the last thing I want to do is spend an hour away from him worrying about myself. I want to be with him every second I can, because the reality is that he could go any day and honestly may not return.

I'm looking for a reason. please give me motivation. Tell me what keeps you moving. Thanks.
Jackie

 

[Aquajock]

I know so well what you are talking about. Although I have been able to stay fairly consistent with my workouts - including an aqua aerobics class I had to teach the day after the atrocities - all of the joy of the doing of it has been leeched away, at least for the time being.

For the class I taught the Saturday after the event, I wrote and distributed a letter to my participants thanking them for their participation, acknowledging how easy it is to feel guilty about taking the time and concentration necessary for healthful exercise, and encouraging them to continue with their exercise and healthful eating programs. I said, "It is important to remember that exercise is not a luxury, nor is it a conceit. Rather, it is of fundamental importance in maintaining strength and health." I read that letter every day, not out of any sense of pride of authorship, but because I need to say that to myself as I too question the importance and sense of it all.

It is so important for you to take care of yourself. Exercise is a part of that. It's not about lean hips or 10 less scale pounds. It's about a strong heart, strong lungs, strong limbs and core, and the stronger you feel physically, the stronger you feel emotionally. Now more than ever, we need physical strength to aid in emotional strength, because we have a long, long road ahead of us.

Please be kind to yourself. Don't expect yourself to revert to a previous mindset. The context of that mindset changed forever on September 11, 2001. It's okay to do your exercising out of a sense of duty, and intellectual knowledge that it's part of what's keeping you strong, and not expect yourself to feel joyful when you don't. And it's okay not to be at your physical peak right now. Do what you can, and adjust as YOU need to. Again, these are words I have to say to myself every day.

Take care -

Annette

 

[amyjohauge]

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Sep-25-01 AT 01:03PM (Est)[/font][p]Jackie,
I have been feeling the same way, but we have to get past the feelings of guilt and get on with our regular lives. I was the maid of honor in my twin sisters wedding this weekend and I knew that I had to be happy for her even though I was having feelings of sadness. She is starting her new life with her new husband and that is so exciting. It was hard after all that has been going on, but the good stuff can still happen without us feeling bad about it. My 5 year old turn 6 today and the smile on her face knowing that she was turning a year older made her so happy. She was excited over the simple fact that she got to take cupcakes for her whole kindergarten class and is getting to share this special day with everyone. It's the little things like that that keeps us going. Just take one day at a time and gradually starting doing your regular workout routines. Or just take a break for awhile. Healing takes time, but we will make it. My thoughts are with you, Amy Jo

 

[Lindylft]

Jackie,

I have dealt with depression and feelings of hopelessness for most of my life. The one thing that has helped me the most has been exercise. Since the 11th, I've felt the same way you have. However, I can't afford to give up my workouts. It's my best defense against depression. I've found that the Slow & Heavy series has been the most beneficial during this time. I don't have to be too upbeat or dancy like I am with cardio. The deliberate concentration on my muscles takes my mind off the outside world for an hour. I don't consider this selfish, I consider it vital. The endorphine kick is what I really need to help me cope with the rest of my feelings. I also find it a good release for the feelings of loss of control and fear that I'm struggling to keep under control. When I push myself to lift the max that I'm capable of, I feel a surge of strength and inner power. I take those feelings of strength with me thru the day so that I can take care of my kids and my husband and be strong for them.

I hope some of my rambling helps at least a little. Now's the time to do things for your inner self to help you stay strong enough to deal with whatever lies ahead.

Best wishes
Lindy

 

[JAS]

Thank you, thank you!

I so appreciate your replies. I needed those comments. Lindy, I will try to do maybe a PS or MIS today instead of cardio. Maybe that will go better. Amy Jo, I also was in a wedding last weekend, and my 3 year old turned 4 yesterday. I know what you mean. We still find joy in these things. Annette, I will post this quote on my fridge: "the stronger you feel physically, the stronger you feel emotionally."
Thank you, I sat here with tears in my eyes for the kindness of strangers that still exists even when our world has been turned upside down. Take care and God bless.
Jackie

 

[DebbieH]

Hi Jackie!

I know I'm a little late responding here to you but wanted to let you know I am thinking of you. It has been a tough two weeks! Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break if you need it. The three gals here have given you excellent advice. It will take time for us to feel halfway normal again. I bet if you asked your hubby about you exercisig, he would encourage you to get back to it because I'm sure he realized how much you enjoyed it before the mishap. I also agree, once you get back to it, it will release those "feel good" endorphins and it may just help you through your slump. Don't feel gulity. We are one blessed nation and doing your vids is a GOOD thing! Hang in there~Thinking of YOU!

Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH http://www.plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!