stay at home moms
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nkhansen1
Cathlete
I do it all. Bills, yardwork, maintenance, repairs, laundry, cleaning, cooking, shopping, kids, school activities...everything. My husband works 15-18 hour days at his job. Home is my job, providing the finances is his. He does help me when he can, though. We try to share as much of each other's load. I know he can relax at work knowing that I've got this end covered, and I can relax knowing that we will have a paycheck next month. It's a fair trade for us.
jcm
Cathlete
I've been home for 10 years, and it took me about half that time to realize that I pretty much do it all and it's mostly okay. I think back to a good friend/mentor I knew growing up (babysat her kids forever) and yup - she did it all. My DH moved 5 hours away almost five years ago for a job (MI.'s economy - not so good!). In that time I've obviously had to do it all and decided it's best that way. I found when I had expectations for him to do things - and essentially do them like I would - it just created tension and disappointment. Don't get me wrong, it's not that we shouldn't have expectations for help from our husbands, but the expectations are different now. What I really expect from him is support (emotionally and at home when asked) and respect for what I do. Not once has he ever said "what do you DO all day?" He tells me all the time ... you're job is so physical, you must be so tired, you do such a good job. His boss's husband stays home and she works. That would never work for us. How long have you been home?
Jen
Jen
jcm
Cathlete
Good for you! This subject can be so sensitive, but I have no regrets. And I've heard the talk about going back when my youngest is in school, but it probably won't happen. Too often I've heard that that's when they need you most. I am NOT passing judgement, and believe me we feel very blessed that we are able to make this choice. We don't eat out much, only do drive-able vacations, but for us it's worth it. I have mom friends making the same choice and that helps. But this job ain't easy! (no job is, but do I miss lunch meetings, raises, sick days, Christmas bonuses, being able to actually complete a project,... 
)This job, and our living situation, has done wonders for my sense of humor! I do not take much seriously!!
)This job, and our living situation, has done wonders for my sense of humor! I do not take much seriously!!I have been a stay at home mom/work from home mom to my 6 children for 16 years now. I also do it all don't mind it, but every once in a while I would like a little consideration and them pick up there stuff. I have five boy's one 6 month old little girl. I'm exhausted by the end of the day, and it pisses me off that he doens't even try to help!!! If I ask him to do something he will have the boy's do it for him, my 16 year old is even taking the kids to soccer practice and picking them up. I work from home providing childcare for working mom's and I have to deal with crying kids all the time and me having a 6 month old doesn't help!! I say If I help with the bills he should be able to help out with house chores!! Feel better now...Thanks!!!
RapidBreath
Cathlete
Good for you! This subject can be so sensitive, but I have no regrets. And I've heard the talk about going back when my youngest is in school, but it probably won't happen. Too often I've heard that that's when they need you most. I am NOT passing judgement, and believe me we feel very blessed that we are able to make this choice. We don't eat out much, only do drive-able vacations, but for us it's worth it. I have mom friends making the same choice and that helps. But this job ain't easy! (no job is, but do I miss lunch meetings, raises, sick days, Christmas bonuses, being able to actually complete a project,...
I am not a stay at home Mom, but I can tell you from experience that when I went into public school that is definitely when I needed help most. I had emotional problems and scholastic issues that I did not even know how to ask for help with that even to this day cause me problems (I know how to ask for help now
). It was math that got me in 7th grade. I have been a stay at home mom for 9 years. I love it. I do everything also. I consider anything relating to the house and the kids my job. My husband appreciates this and loves our lifestyle like having a home cooked meal most every night. However, from time to time he does throw jokes my way about my "cushy lifestyle."
I agree about the expectations on his days off or when he gets home from work creating tension and disappointment.
I do feel a little lonely sometimes because there isnt a whole lot of stay at home moms anymore. Thank goodness for Cathe she is the only thing I do for myself. The sad part about it is when my husband says go have a mommy day I have nothing to do except exercise.
I agree about the expectations on his days off or when he gets home from work creating tension and disappointment.
I do feel a little lonely sometimes because there isnt a whole lot of stay at home moms anymore. Thank goodness for Cathe she is the only thing I do for myself. The sad part about it is when my husband says go have a mommy day I have nothing to do except exercise.
Fit_mommy
Cathlete
I stayed home with my son for the first 4 years of his life. I took care of the inside of the house plus paying the bills. My husband took care of the outside of the house and went work.
I have been back to work f/t now for just over a year. I still do most of the inside work because I'm a fool who doesn't ask for more help and he is a man who doesn't think to do it w/o being told. That being said, quite frankly, sometimes it's easier just to do it myself then ask for the help.
I feel the pain of the person who talked about others in the house picking up after themselves. My son is 5 and ofcourse I tell him to clean up his toys, put his shoes away,etc but husband is 36 and is no better then my son....maybe worse! I am constantly picking up his crap and it annoys me to no end. He was raised in a very old fashioned household where his mom did it all though. He never had to pick up after himself or even do his own laundry even as an adult living in his parents' home and I am paying for this now.
Thankfully atleast he will do anything I ask of him w/o complaining. I just wish he'd take a little more initiative and not have to be asked...
I have been back to work f/t now for just over a year. I still do most of the inside work because I'm a fool who doesn't ask for more help and he is a man who doesn't think to do it w/o being told. That being said, quite frankly, sometimes it's easier just to do it myself then ask for the help.
I feel the pain of the person who talked about others in the house picking up after themselves. My son is 5 and ofcourse I tell him to clean up his toys, put his shoes away,etc but husband is 36 and is no better then my son....maybe worse!
I am constantly picking up his crap and it annoys me to no end. He was raised in a very old fashioned household where his mom did it all though. He never had to pick up after himself or even do his own laundry even as an adult living in his parents' home and I am paying for this now. Thankfully atleast he will do anything I ask of him w/o complaining. I just wish he'd take a little more initiative and not have to be asked...
jcm
Cathlete
Sounds like we all married the same man! Example - my DH was home for a week at Christmas. During that time there had been a 24 pack of water bottles sitting on our kitchen floor. Toward the end of his break I couldn't find the bottles so I asked if he had done something with him. The response if priceless - "what water bottles?"!!! Turns out on a cleaning rampage the day before I'd put them in the basement.
In my experience w/ friends, with a few exceptions of course, they honestly don't SEE it! Stuff like this has happened way more than once. I've learned to just laugh.
In my experience w/ friends, with a few exceptions of course, they honestly don't SEE it! Stuff like this has happened way more than once. I've learned to just laugh.
Fit_mommy
Cathlete
Sounds like we all married the same man! Example - my DH was home for a week at Christmas. During that time there had been a 24 pack of water bottles sitting on our kitchen floor. Toward the end of his break I couldn't find the bottles so I asked if he had done something with him. The response if priceless - "what water bottles?"!!! Turns out on a cleaning rampage the day before I'd put them in the basement.
In my experience w/ friends, with a few exceptions of course, they honestly don't SEE it! Stuff like this has happened way more than once. I've learned to just laugh.
That's a funny story! I've heard similar things from other married women and quite frankly it's these stories that keep me from stabbing him when I get annoyed! LOL It is amazing to me what he can walk past and "not see" and not have it bother him. I am by no means a neat or clean freak so I will never put any demands on him or my son that could be deamed "unreasonable" but my goodness! I swear the man could walk past a hot steaming pile of dog
poop (I want to use another word but I'm being nice!
)on the rug in the middle of our livingroom and not even realize it was there! 
Stephanie0523
Cathlete
I haven't read all of the above, so I hope I'm not repeating...
I'm blessed that my husband will do anything I need him to do. He cleans the bathrooms often and does all the yard work and washes the dog and takes out the trash at night. And lots of nights, he does the dishes. He also irons his own clothes and the kids' clothes for the following day. He's amazing. I do all of the other housework (dusting, vacuuming, laundry - and there is LOTS of laundry with three boys + DH), cooking/baking, grocery shopping, etc.
I think that if you are a SAHM you really only should be expected to nurture and tend to the kids if your kids are young and not in school. All of the other work should be split. After all, DH doesn't have to do his job at work AND clean up after his coworkers. SAHM is just that, you're a MOM first. If your kids are in school all day, then I believe you should do the bulk of the housework. I still have a little one at home all day, and while it's nice that the other two are at school, and I can get SOME work done, it's hard to get a lot done with a 2 year old.
I think it differs for everyone. It's all I can do to keep the place neat and tidy. My boys are like little tornadoes.
I'm blessed that my husband will do anything I need him to do. He cleans the bathrooms often and does all the yard work and washes the dog and takes out the trash at night. And lots of nights, he does the dishes. He also irons his own clothes and the kids' clothes for the following day. He's amazing. I do all of the other housework (dusting, vacuuming, laundry - and there is LOTS of laundry with three boys + DH), cooking/baking, grocery shopping, etc.
I think that if you are a SAHM you really only should be expected to nurture and tend to the kids if your kids are young and not in school. All of the other work should be split. After all, DH doesn't have to do his job at work AND clean up after his coworkers. SAHM is just that, you're a MOM first. If your kids are in school all day, then I believe you should do the bulk of the housework. I still have a little one at home all day, and while it's nice that the other two are at school, and I can get SOME work done, it's hard to get a lot done with a 2 year old.
I think it differs for everyone. It's all I can do to keep the place neat and tidy. My boys are like little tornadoes.
jewels5
Cathlete
I have been a stay at home mom for 12+ years and wouldn't trade this job for anything. Just as I was vacuuming last night (yes, on a Sat. night, what fun!) I said to my husband that I need about 3 more hours in each day.
I do pretty much everything except for mowing the lawn and paying the bills. There is only so much stress I can handle. But we do pay for a cleaning service to come in twice a month. I have five kids, 2 being the youngest and 12 the oldest. It is hard getting much done when I have two at home still. I remind myself how quickly these years go by though and try not to let it get to me.
Fortunately only one of mine is a little tornado, but he does enough to make up for the rest of them. He has special needs and he doesn't always "play" with the toys the way the others do, rather he likes to rearrange the house. But it's cute the way his little mind works so I don't let that get to me.
When my 12 year old complains about cleaning I tell him I am teaching him for the sake of his future wife.
) I said to my husband that I need about 3 more hours in each day.I do pretty much everything except for mowing the lawn and paying the bills. There is only so much stress I can handle.
But we do pay for a cleaning service to come in twice a month. I have five kids, 2 being the youngest and 12 the oldest. It is hard getting much done when I have two at home still. I remind myself how quickly these years go by though and try not to let it get to me.Fortunately only one of mine is a little tornado, but he does enough to make up for the rest of them.
He has special needs and he doesn't always "play" with the toys the way the others do, rather he likes to rearrange the house. But it's cute the way his little mind works so I don't let that get to me.When my 12 year old complains about cleaning I tell him I am teaching him for the sake of his future wife.
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jcm
Cathlete
With our living situation I broke down and asked DH if I could have someone clean once/month. I also have two in school and a 2yr. old at home. Every 3 weeks he gets a call from me thanking him for my present! Knowing that even though my house is a bomb it will eventually be immaculate and I can start over is amazing. As well all know - you have to pick up before you can clean and I never get past the picking up! It does wonders for my mental health.
gettingfitmom
Cathlete
I've been ASAH mom for 20 years. My oldest is 19 and youngest is 16, wirh an 18 year old in between. My DH is self employed, so I am the secretary. I mow, weed eat, take care of garden, cats, dogs, we live on a 112 acre farm and raise Black Angus so I help with the hay (usually the Hottest day of the summer)I pay the bills, shop, laundry, school related things, cook,clean...when the 2 oldest sre home from college,they help out (when they are nor working)and help DH on jobs if he needs it. I consider myself lucky to be able to stay at home and have a DH with a good job so I can. I also would not change it. I did some teaching in there also when all three kids were in Elem. school. It's exhausting but rewarding...