My Thoughts
Jeanne:
I totally agree. As I shared in a previous response to this thread, I am not led to end this friendship. I want to be a friend like Gretchen has always been to me. I do not think jealousy is an issue here at all. To the contrary, I am almost certain that insecurity and/or fear are at the root of this. I know from experience that obese women face a lot of rejection in this society. I think there is a concern that I may move on to a more athletic lifestyle and leave my old friends behind (which is not my desire at all). When binge-eating was a common bond we shared and something we did together, there is a process of discovering new activities to enjoy together. I want to reassure all my friends that I still love them unconditionally. Just as they are. No matter what they weigh. If they never change their eating habits or start exercising, I will still love them. And if they do, I will not love them more or less. I am also not one to push my fitness lifestyle or my faith on others. I am a living witness. The way I live my life testifies to what I believe. Constant comments about me doing something about my weight sent me flying to the refrigerator, so I avoid saying things like that to others. Society heaps so much shame on women for being too fat or too thin or too small chested or whatever. I would rather walk through fire than add to that burden. I like to keep lines of communication open and be a person people feel comfortable approaching with questions when they are ready. That is just my way.
By the way, I read your posts too both here and at the Ya Yas. I have looked at your pictures many times, and I am so inspired by your fitness accomplishments. I love the size and shape of your arms, and I know that this is the result of hard work because you are one who struggles to gain muscle and weight. Even though we have the opposite challenge in that regard, you are a reminder to me that it is possible for all of us to be our personal best. One of the many reasons I love Cathe is because she has women in her videos with different body types. Curvy like Cedie. Long and lean like Rhonda. Petite and athletic like Cathe. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. All of them. Each one is at the top of her game and beautiful in her own special way. Brenda, Jai, and Lorraine are beautiful too. Cathe and her girls and people like you inspire me to be my personal best instead of striving for something that is not possible for my body type. There is a real freedom in that. Even though your struggle is the opposite of mine, I appreciate the fact that you have to fight for your fitness gains just as hard as I do. That has been on my heart for a long time, and I just wanted to share this morning!
Oh, I am editing this to add that my family is another story entirely. None of them are overweight. In fact, they can eat what they want and never gain a pound. But my weight has always been an issue with them. I am honestly not sure what the deal is here. They really want me to lose the rest of this weight. The best I can figure is that feeding me is a familiar way of demonstrating love. I will be the first to admit that I look forward to eating when we are together. We do not know how to relate to each other in a healthy way, so eating together gives us something enjoyable to do that fills the gaps. It has only been in the last few years that I myself have learned how to love and be loved. Breaking cycles that have been handed down from generation to generation takes hard work and time. I just need to keep loving them where they are too and prepare myself to resist the temptation to eat for comfort when we are together.
Blessings,
Heather B.
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV).
