So what do you do when...........
- Thread starter LauraMax
- Start date
Tamster
Cathlete
(((Laura))) I know EXACTLY how you feel. I quit my last job about 2 1/2 years ago because of daily sexual harassment. Finally one day I couldn't stand it any longer and quit. Not only do I wish I had quit sooner, but I wish I had gotten an attorney at that time.
Please see an attorney to at least go over your options. Let us know how it goes.
Please see an attorney to at least go over your options. Let us know how it goes.
MARY1616
Cathlete
I had to chime in here...i too had someone put me in the same situation. the 1st thing i did was re-gain control of the situation. i did tape the comments that were being said to me just so i would have it on tape, then i approached the person and told them how it was going to go from here on in. i told him that i had a tape of all the comments and that i did not want to ruin his life and family but if a comment was ever made again or if my career was effected in any way i WILL go to the authorities. from that point on the control was put back in my hands and the harrassment was over. not every man will respond to this but if you have evidence then you will be in a better postion. no one should ever make you feel uncomfortable!! please let keep up posted!!
LauraMax
Cathlete
Thank you all for the replies. This really is a difficult situation & I've been handling it for years now, but it's just gotten out of control the last 6 months or so.
Just to clarify the situation, the mayor answers to no one but the voters. There are elections next May & there is a strong likelihood he'll lose. Problem here is he owns a pharmacy across the street, & I'm afraid if he loses things will actually get worse. It'll alleviate the professional situation & I'll be more comfortable telling him to get off my back, but still, he's so close & persistent I don't know if he'll listen.
He is actually my boss's boss (he's the mayor, my boss is the city manager, I'm the asst. manager). I have mentioned this to my boss twice just to make sure it's on record. I've also spoken w/the City Clerk about it b/c she's the case manager for sexual harassment cases, so it's on record in case I do have to take action. And I have witnesses, not to mention the log I started last week.
Nancy, thanks for the link, I am going to bookmark this just in case I need her. I don't know if I should contact her now unless she's willing to give free advice--I'm not ready to sue & I can't afford to pay an attny right now.
And I have been looking for another job for some time now. I really can't stand this, not to mention I have an absentee boss (he works 20-30 hours a week, I work 50-60) who dumps all his crap on me & then takes credit for it. Problem is my skills are so specific (I've been in local government my entire career) that I'd probably have to relocate, which I really don't want to do.
<sigh> I wish he'd just move to Germany to be w/this ditzy chick instead of picking on me all the time.
Just to clarify the situation, the mayor answers to no one but the voters. There are elections next May & there is a strong likelihood he'll lose. Problem here is he owns a pharmacy across the street, & I'm afraid if he loses things will actually get worse. It'll alleviate the professional situation & I'll be more comfortable telling him to get off my back, but still, he's so close & persistent I don't know if he'll listen.
He is actually my boss's boss (he's the mayor, my boss is the city manager, I'm the asst. manager). I have mentioned this to my boss twice just to make sure it's on record. I've also spoken w/the City Clerk about it b/c she's the case manager for sexual harassment cases, so it's on record in case I do have to take action. And I have witnesses, not to mention the log I started last week.
Nancy, thanks for the link, I am going to bookmark this just in case I need her. I don't know if I should contact her now unless she's willing to give free advice--I'm not ready to sue & I can't afford to pay an attny right now.
And I have been looking for another job for some time now. I really can't stand this, not to mention I have an absentee boss (he works 20-30 hours a week, I work 50-60) who dumps all his crap on me & then takes credit for it. Problem is my skills are so specific (I've been in local government my entire career) that I'd probably have to relocate, which I really don't want to do.
<sigh> I wish he'd just move to Germany to be w/this ditzy chick instead of picking on me all the time.
nancy324
Cathlete
Laura,
A lot of lawyers will be willing to have a free consultation. I sometimes review matters for prospective clients for no charge to determine if they have a matter we want to take on. I realize you don't want to bring an action at this time, but an attorney may be able to help you to gather evidence or build a case for future litigation in the event you change your mind later. For example, the advice that Dave gave sounds like something the attorney might encourage you to do. Perhaps most importantly, they can also tell you more about those aspects of the law that protect you against recrimination for bringing an action. I don't have to be an employment lawyer to say that it sounds like you have a classic case of sexual harassment, and I would imagine that there are a lot of lawyers out there who would love to help you. In any event, if it were me, I would at least call a law firm to see what they have to say.
-Nancy
A lot of lawyers will be willing to have a free consultation. I sometimes review matters for prospective clients for no charge to determine if they have a matter we want to take on. I realize you don't want to bring an action at this time, but an attorney may be able to help you to gather evidence or build a case for future litigation in the event you change your mind later. For example, the advice that Dave gave sounds like something the attorney might encourage you to do. Perhaps most importantly, they can also tell you more about those aspects of the law that protect you against recrimination for bringing an action. I don't have to be an employment lawyer to say that it sounds like you have a classic case of sexual harassment, and I would imagine that there are a lot of lawyers out there who would love to help you. In any event, if it were me, I would at least call a law firm to see what they have to say.
-Nancy
amberwaves
Cathlete
Laura!!!!!
Listen to nancy PLEASE....get some formal advice. She's a lawyer, I'm a lawyer ...neither of us specialize in that law but, YOU NEED SOME LEGAL ADVICE!!!! Do not stop to pass go....I'm serious here. A phone call...a short consultation with someone familiar with that law and that jurisdiction. I know in our state when you sue someone technically employed by the state or "color of state" there are special considerations, sometimes immunity issues, jurisdictional issues. PLEASE...just a phone call. Nancy's recommendation is qualified...she's a woman...CALL HER
Good luck,
Amber
Listen to nancy PLEASE....get some formal advice. She's a lawyer, I'm a lawyer ...neither of us specialize in that law but, YOU NEED SOME LEGAL ADVICE!!!! Do not stop to pass go....I'm serious here. A phone call...a short consultation with someone familiar with that law and that jurisdiction. I know in our state when you sue someone technically employed by the state or "color of state" there are special considerations, sometimes immunity issues, jurisdictional issues. PLEASE...just a phone call. Nancy's recommendation is qualified...she's a woman...CALL HER
Good luck,
Amber
kathryn
Cathlete
>
I'm afraid to tell him to leave
>me alone b/c I don't want to hurt his feelings, plus I don't
>want it to affect my career.
I don't see why you are concerned about hurting his feelins: he seeems to have a big ego, and is not concerned about others' feelings. Though the career thing is a bummer.
I think you have to take this to whoever would be over his head (a board?). Or consult with a female lawyer or a Title 9 person (someone who could give you some helpful feedback). Someone who can back you up if needed (not just friends and co-workers) and who will be discrete.
I'm afraid to tell him to leave
>me alone b/c I don't want to hurt his feelings, plus I don't
>want it to affect my career.
I don't see why you are concerned about hurting his feelins: he seeems to have a big ego, and is not concerned about others' feelings. Though the career thing is a bummer.
I think you have to take this to whoever would be over his head (a board?). Or consult with a female lawyer or a Title 9 person (someone who could give you some helpful feedback). Someone who can back you up if needed (not just friends and co-workers) and who will be discrete.