Sleeping Baby?

S

shnikes18

Cathlete
Hi everyone,

I have a question that maybe someone can help me with. Anna is 11 days old now, and she is doing really well. Last night she slept from 11:30 to 5:00, ate until 6:00, then slept again until almost 9:00.

I'm pretty impressed and nervous that this sleeping at night won't last, but here's the problem. She only sleeps like that if she is on my chest listening to my heartbeat. She doesn't like her bassinet or her crib, and she'll stay in her carseat for a little bit longer than the other ones. I don't really mind her sleeping on my chest if she's going to sleep like that. I'm pretty scared to try anything else because I know it will mean that I won't get any sleep. I'll lay her down in the crib, and she'll be fine for a few minutes, but then she'll want me again.

I know they say you can't spoil a baby at this young age, but I don't know if I want to make a habit out of sleeping with the baby. I would like to be able to at least spend that time with my husband. Does anyone have any suggestions, or should I just let her sleep on me for the time being? Thanks so much.

Emily
 
Hi.
Congratulations on your little one! Mine turns one tomorrow! I wouldn't worry about the baby sleeping on you at all. My daughter would only nap while on either me or my husband for the first couple of months and then she learned to sleep on her own (or in her swing). Now she won't sleep on us at all and I actually kind of miss it! Looking down at that sweet peaceful face was very relaxing! They do learn to go to sleep on their own as they get older. IMHO, trying to rush them to sleep on their own just makes everyone miserable! Just my two cents!
Good luck!
Connie
 
[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Apr-19-01 AT 06:51PM (Est)[/font][p]Firstly - great that she has a long sleep period at night at 11 days! Some babies are reversed and have their long sleep period in the daytime!

Don't worry about spoiling her one bit. Babies are meant to be close to their moms - when sleeping, when awake. There are many anthropologists who claim that the human gestation period is really 18 months, not 9! :) The second 9 are spent outside the body.

Enjoy it - it is a sweet feeling to have a newborn asleep on your chest. We quickly switched our thinking to 'family bed' at this age, and we still sleep with our 2 yo. I was family bedded 35 yrs ago by my folks because even though it was the 60s, and the going theory was "don't spoil them by handling them too much" - my mom just followed her instincts. I grew up super independent.

In other words - hugging, holding and giving your infant the human closeness and warmth that it craves will in NO way spoil it. Even the sleep experts who claim you should NOT have baby in your bed often say that you can't spoil a child under 6 mos.

It is a short time - and then it will be over. You can do this: Give her what she needs now - esp as her feeding is going to be frequent - she hasn't hit her 3 wk growth spurt and when she does, she will want to feed for what seems like 24/7 ... and then, when she no longer needs a night feeding (with mine it was 3 mos - but some are older), you can try slowly weaning her to her crib or a basinnet. Just remember she has spent her last 9 mos under your heart, and that is where she KNOWS she is supposed to be (snuggled up to you!!!)

Editted to say that I agree with the previous post: They DO learn to fall asleep on their own. My daughter won't even let us rock her or bounce her anymore - she lies down next to us, and falls asleep. I will miss her when she moves to her own room (our tactic is to not rush it - but others have successfully weaned children from their beds much earlier!)


Leela
 
Hi Emily,

I just wanted to echo to enjoy this time. I have three kids and both boys (the oldest and the youngest) loved to sleep with me and I did the family bed thing, the good news is both also learned to fall asleep on their own with no problems at all (although the baby is only four months so who knows what will happen). My 9-year-old son slept with me (single mom at the time) until he was about two months old and my nearly 4-month-old son slept with me until he was a month old, then he decided he liked his crib a LOT more than I would have thought (being that he is the last I kind of miss him cuddling). My middle, my daughter, would NEVER sleep with me (she would however fall asleep only on daddy's chest and she had bad bad bad colic so I was thankful she slept at all); so every baby is a little different to say the least--she also is the one we have the most trouble with getting off to bed so go figure.

Anyway enjoy the time with your baby, but if it makes you uncomfortable consider putting the bassinet next to your bed and putting your hand in it if you can for comfort. Even when my eldest started sleeping in his own crib he wanted my hand to hold onto at night (but refused to fall asleep in bed with me he'd spend too much time "talking" and smiling), and it worked.

Just my 0.02 (and probably closer to 0.10 LOL).

Stephanie :)
 
Hi Emily!

Congratulations! For some reason my second baby turned me into such a baby person! They are so sweet! He is 3 mo. now and slept with us until he was 2 mo. old. I was wanting "special time" with dh so we put him in the crib in our room. He did cry and fuss a bit, but it was cause he was sooooo tired. Now he sleeps just fine in his crib and the next step is moving it to his room. After we had moved him to his crib he would sometimes want to lay on my chest for 10 minutes or so after one of his night time feedings. I know it's hard not to worry and wonder, but I think you're doing fine :)

Andrea
 
Hi Emily! Congratulations to you and Anna! How wonderful. I think this is one of those topics that doesn't have an exact right or wrong answer, especially at this age. I would ask your doctor if you are really unsure but my opinion is that I would not worry about it for at least a couple of more months. Love to you and your baby!
 
I agree with everyone else -- if the baby is sleeping, let her sleep! As long as YOU are getting sleep this way, that is the most important thing in the early days. My husband worried me to death about letting Lauren sleep and nap on my chest or next to me in the bed -- she wouldn't learn how to sleep on her own, she'd be clingy, she'd turn out like our little terror of a niece, blah, blah, blah. But she and I both slept better when we were cuddled up together, and within 3 or 4 months she was sleeping by herself in the crib just fine and continues to do so to this day. And boy do I miss those cuddles (I get them every now and then, but having 20 pounds of baby on your chest is not quite as conducive to peaceful slumber as 7 ot 8 pounds!).

There are so many things to worry about in these first early days at home with your baby. Please trust yourself and follow your heart, and don't let other people make you feel insecure. You know more than you think you do!
 
Well, Anna is now three weeks old today, and for the past week almost, she's slept for five hours at a time in her carseat. I feed her at 10:30-11:00 for about 45 minutes. Then, I rock her until she's good and asleep and put her in the carseat where she stays until around 5 a.m. I just hopes she keeps it up. Then I feed her and she goes back to sleep either on me or my husband for about two more hours. She's getting really cute, and we're getting used to her. Thanks for the encouragement.

Emily
 
This is the one tough issue about family bed ...

30 pound toddler occasionally wants to put her head on mom or dad's body (chest, leg) while falling asleep.

I'm pregnant, and thus.. not very comfortable. Not comfortable to get kicked by sleeping toddler having bad dream, either :)

But that cuddling is so worth it! :)
 
One thing you can always expect from children is the unexpected - but

I can tell you this - she WILL keep up being your darling daughter, and the love and bond you have for each other will get tighter and stronger :)

Leela
 
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