Since when has demanding respect become taboo?

[dr.mel_PT]

I am so tired of how I'm treated at my job. My boss' boss (I call her the Worthless Wonder) is the most self-centered person I have ever met in my life! She neglects to plan accordingly, so everything is always a rush and it needed to be done 5 hours ago. Even things she knows about for weeks in advance, she will wait until the last minute to give me a task and then demand me to drop all my other job duties (I currently hold 3 job titles) to have her piece done ASAP...and it is always due ASAP, marked urgent of course. I've asked (nicely) in the past if we can organize things better because my best work does not come when I'm rushed (which is true) and she blew me off! She basically told me whatever she wants she will get and we are on her time not mine. I also got a $10K paycut and had to take a second job to get my bills paid. Well, I had a shift for my PT job scheduled for after my 9-5 and lo and behold, there was a project due ASAP that day; I told my immediate boss my concerns and being that this was given to me 2 hrs before my shift, it was unfair and unrealistic to expect me to blow off my 2nd job. Her boss, Worthless Wonder, flat out said "I don't really care what she has to do or if she gets fired from that job; this job is her concern. Her PT job has nothing to do with me so WTF do I care?" (Oh did I mention she is EXTREMELY unprofessional?!).

Then with the snow storm today, she threw a fit that I would not be driving an hour to the office. Are you kidding me?! She told my boss "I'm not the one driving so what do I care?" My boss said "Well, Melissa is concerned about her safety" and the worthless wonder responded "Work comes first." Really?!?!

I have really had it with this job. I know the economy is bad and I'm lucky to have a job in the 1st place but when is enough really enough?! I find myself DREADING going in to work everyday because I'm constantly thinking "Hmm what will go wrong today?" This job causes so much undue stress that I feel like I'm going to reach my breaking point soon. I feel so hopeless!!!

 

[kryptychyck]

I am so sorry you have to go through that! She is really out of line! Did you discuss it with your direct boss by chance?

I wonder if she is just as bad with your supervisor.

 

[Pearlstrand]

Ouch! Sounds awful!

Sounds like you are really miserable with your work situation.... I don't know about your industry, but given the economy, jobs are tougher to come by. You might feel less frustrated and powerless if you thought you had other options, but needing a job and feeling stuck in this one leaves you in a difficult situation.

You haven't said much about how your boss handles things, but it seems that she doesn't try to make things better.

Can you discuss this problem with your boss and make it sound as if you're problem-solving, rather than complaining? For example: "I'm concerned that the way we're handling projects now is causing mistakes/stress/inaccuracies or whatever. I'd like to see if there's a way we can plan our work flow so that we can do a better job (or whatever is important to her)."

Approaching it as something you'd like to change for the sake of quality, cost-cutting, or something else that matters to them will seem much more reasonable. I mean, it would be difficult for them to say "Gee, we like to be stressed and overwhelmed because it's so much better for productivity." Your asking for a change won't seem unreasonable because you're asking for a good reason.

Sure, it would be great to throw something heavy at both your boss and hers, but that will probably get you fired, which would solve one problem and create another.

In the meantime, are there other opportunities within your company? Do you have a chance to network within your industry and find another job?

If you're interested, I can recommend a book that I've found very helpful for dealing with difficult people and situations. It's called "Crucial Conversations." It's a business book, but the skills in it are useful for personal situations, too. You may find something in it of value that will help you negotiate your way through this problem. Good luck!

 

[Beavs]

You could get a hat trick of the boss's boss's boss is also incompetent! If I recall you are in Westchester county which is densely populated and more than likely to have a Metro North stop in your neighborhood. The world is your oyster! Get the heck out of Dodge and find a gig elsewhere. The morning train to Grand Central is packed so lots of people are working.

 

[cataddict]

One thing occurred to me while I was reading your post. How are you finding out exactly what your boss' boss is saying? Is your boss repeating word for word what is being said and if so why? It seems to me that it is your immediate superior's responsibility to act as a go between and is not doing her part. Her superior may not have intended that her comments would be passed on directly to you but was something said off the cuff to another manager. If your boss is allegedly quoting the conversations isn't she making things worse? What does she accomplish by making you upset by repeating these comments but deflect responsibility to someone else so she doesn't look like the bad guy? That's not professional behavior either.

It's not an easy situation and I'm sorry you're caught in the middle, but at least a portion of the blame goes to your immediate boss if she is not stepping up and is simply repeating (or embellishing---who knows what is really said if you don't hear it yourself).

Of course the last two paragraphs are useless if the boss' boss is saying these things directly to you. I just got the impression that that wasn't the case.

Hang in there. "They" say the employment picture is getting better so maybe some of the bosszillas will have to ease up.

 

[dr.mel_PT]

I have spoken to my immediate boss about it and tried to angle it like "it would be better on the company's behalf if we did this..." The problem is, my boss is VERY timid, especially when it comes to this wench of a woman. She takes a lot more abuse than I do; one time in a client meeting, the biotch disclosed how much my boss pays in rent and everyone laughed at her, saying her apartment must be the size of a shoebox! I don't know how she puts up with it. I think a major part of her believes she owes the head boss something because she kick-started my boss' career and she has been working under her for 14 years. I don't care how much you teach me; I refuse to be belittled, no matter how many ranks you are above me!

Beavs, I am looking for a new gig hardcore! I've been networking like a mad woman, sending my resume out to friends & family, and scouring the ads. The economy is really bleak but things do seem to be picking up so I just keep telling myself to hang in there.

Pearlstrand, unfortunately I don't want to even stick with this company. They are penny-pinchers across the board (of course when it comes to booking their own 1st class flights for meetings and 5-star hotel suites on the company card, they will gladly splurge on that); our pay is horrible, the work is worse, and no one sticks up for you no matter which dept you work in.

Cataddict, I actually heard these things with my own ears!! Can you believe it?! And I've witnessed her saying similar things about other coworkers so it's not just about me; she is a mean-spirited woman.

We have a huge project due by EOB tomorrow that we have known about since the beginning of Jan. Big shock, the only piece I'm missing is the head boss's; the final copies need to come to me so I can send them out. The company is closing early for the holiday, but who wants to take bets that I will be there waiting all night for her to send me her part??? GRRRRR!!!

Thanks for letting me vent ladies! I really appreciate your input

 

[carres1973]

Respect is such a strange thing, isn't it? When I was in the Air Force, we had to show respect to our senior leaders whether they deserved/earned it or not. In my job before this, there was absolutely no "us vs. them" or seniority readily noticeable. In my current job, it is TERRIBLE! The senior leadership of the organization demand respect because of their position but give NONE in return. I keep thinking about moving to another job but the location of this one stops me. I work 5 minutes from my house and 2 minutes from my kids' schools. So, I put up with it.

Carrie