I usually find that truly offensive people aren't worth the time it takes to be offended by them
But more seriously, in this case, I'd put it down to pressure. Or bad wedding invitation software. People get *so* stressed about handling wedding invitations, who to invite, how to write their names ... I'm amazed that anyone gets married in public! Same thing for holiday greeting cards. In my case, since I graciously allowed my husband to keep his maiden name
, and we are both phds, but not everyone is aware of either of those things or of both our first names, we get at least eight different forms of address, as people desperately guess at which combination of honorifics and last names are appropriate. We like to laugh at the most outrageous versions.
If you're going, then I'd simply solve the problem by writing them a nice note thanking them and rsvp-ing, and sign it on behalf of both of yourselves in exactly the same format that you'd've liked them to use in the first place
And you could use the same approach even if you are not attending. That has worked well for me with wedding, graduation, and Christmas cards - and I appreciate it when someone gives me the same gentle unobtrusive hint that I've inadvertently made a faux pas.
