Well, I've been working out for a year and a half now, and lost about 30 pounds. I'm 5"2.5 and went from 168.5 pounds to 135 pounds. I started strength training with Cathe's Pure Strength and I plan on starting the slow and heavy series very soon. My husband and I want to have a child and I'm thinking of getting off the pill (orthotricycline) in August. Here's my problem, I recently saw pictures of myself when I was almost 170 pounds and thought, I don't want to go back to that look. I'm 38 years old and I don't have any children. I worked so hard to get all that weight off and the idea of being pregnant and gaining 30-50 pounds really scares me. I know with proper eating and exercise, I should be able to gain and lose it after the baby, but what if it doesn't come off. I mean some women say that they have exercised throughout their pregnancies and still gain anywhere from 50-70 pounds and it takes months sometimes years to get the weight off. I just don't want to get fat again. I've struggled with my weight all my life and for the first time I feel great about how I look and feel, and I don't want to undue all the hard work I put into getting in shape. I hate to sound superficial, however, I was so unhappy with all that weight on my body, that the very idea of coming close to that image terrifies me. I've put off having children and now, I'm at an age in which I can not put it off any longer. Besides, my husband really wants a child with me. He has 2 older sons from a previous marriage, but, he wants another child. Deep down inside I want one as well, but I can't get pass the weight issue. Should I try to lose more weight before I get pregnant or is it better to just have the extra weight on now, so I won't balloon up or beyond the weight I was before I lost it all. Some one on the post stated that the smaller you are the more likely to gain more weight when you are pregnant. I'm confused, I need some encourgement and advice. The biological clock is ticking.....
Scared
- Thread starter mlank64
- Start date
Hi! I am now almost 19 weeks pregnant with my third and I am starting to get scared with this weight gain thing. I am one of those people that works out like a crazy woman through her pregnancies and winds up gaining 50+ pounds with each one. I'm getting a little anxious right now, because I can visually see the legs and butt getting bigger. I have gained 20 pounds so far, right on schedule for me and I have done very little in the way of working out with this pregnancy. It does not seem to make a difference, this ole body loves being pregnant and getting round.
So, I'm thinking these past few nights, what if this is the one that I can't lose the weight? I'm quite a bit older now (34) than the first two. I'm letting myself kinda freak about this. Well, that just stops now! IF I want to lose the weight then I WILL lose the weight after...its a choice because like you, I have done it before and I will do it again. Breastfeeding is a huge help (was for me anyway) and you KNOW how to make this happen because you've done it before.
This is a pep talk for you and me! I really have to keep reminding myself I was thinner after the babies then before and I will do it again, if I want to. It is scary and can make you anxious but having that healthy, amazing child makes all the work and effort so worth it!
So, I'm thinking these past few nights, what if this is the one that I can't lose the weight? I'm quite a bit older now (34) than the first two. I'm letting myself kinda freak about this. Well, that just stops now! IF I want to lose the weight then I WILL lose the weight after...its a choice because like you, I have done it before and I will do it again. Breastfeeding is a huge help (was for me anyway) and you KNOW how to make this happen because you've done it before.
This is a pep talk for you and me! I really have to keep reminding myself I was thinner after the babies then before and I will do it again, if I want to. It is scary and can make you anxious but having that healthy, amazing child makes all the work and effort so worth it!
H
Hazel
Guest
I don't know that I can do anything more than sympathize with your feelings, but I can tell you that I had similar fears before becoming pregnant with my first (I'm now 33 weeks with #2). Especially if you've struggled with your weight in the past and worked hard to reshape your body (been there too), it can be very hard to think about watching that needle on the scale creep upward as a healthy and positive thing. And I am a firm believer that assuming you are eating well and exercising, there is not a whole lot you can do about how much you gain (of course, you're more likely to gain a healthy amount of weight --25 to 35 pounds is the guideline if you're not significantly under or overweight to begin with -- if you're taking care of yourself and not "eating for two"). I was very careful with my diet with my first baby and gained 30 pounds -- this time, the demands of mothering a toddler as well as working and life in general have made me rather slack in that department, and I'm still right on target to gain about 30 pounds assuming I don't go nuts in the next 7 weeks.
But I can't kid you and say that the weight gain of pregnancy doesn't occasionally get to you emotionally and psychologically. Of course, that is not the same as gaining 30 pounds of body fat -- certainly, you will gain body fat, but you've also got 7 or 8 pounds of baby in there, plus increased fluid and blood volume, breast tissue, etc. Continuing to exercise makes a huge difference in how you cope with the weight gain too -- at least it did for me. And of course, it makes all the difference in helping you get back in shape after baby arrives, although for most of us it does take "many months, even years" to return to our pre-pregnancy weight (and even then, you're body is not the same).
I guess for me the turning point came when I realized that I wanted a child more than I wanted my pre-pregnancy body. I have the better part of the rest of my life to work on improving my physique but only a few short years (since I got kind of a late start) in which to make a baby. And believe me, once you have the baby, the concerns you have about your body often recede in importance. Many women find a whole new appreciation for their bodies after having been front row participants in having created a new life. That doesn't mean that we don't struggle with that last 5 or 10 pounds, but that it doesn't matter quite as much. You really do gain a whole new perspective.
Anyway, I hope my ramblings will be helpful in some way, if only as an expression of understanding for what you are going through. Only you can decide if you are ready to become pregnant -- if you do, this forum is a great place to get advice and encouragement to stay on the healthiest track possible.
But I can't kid you and say that the weight gain of pregnancy doesn't occasionally get to you emotionally and psychologically. Of course, that is not the same as gaining 30 pounds of body fat -- certainly, you will gain body fat, but you've also got 7 or 8 pounds of baby in there, plus increased fluid and blood volume, breast tissue, etc. Continuing to exercise makes a huge difference in how you cope with the weight gain too -- at least it did for me. And of course, it makes all the difference in helping you get back in shape after baby arrives, although for most of us it does take "many months, even years" to return to our pre-pregnancy weight (and even then, you're body is not the same).
I guess for me the turning point came when I realized that I wanted a child more than I wanted my pre-pregnancy body. I have the better part of the rest of my life to work on improving my physique but only a few short years (since I got kind of a late start) in which to make a baby. And believe me, once you have the baby, the concerns you have about your body often recede in importance. Many women find a whole new appreciation for their bodies after having been front row participants in having created a new life. That doesn't mean that we don't struggle with that last 5 or 10 pounds, but that it doesn't matter quite as much. You really do gain a whole new perspective.
Anyway, I hope my ramblings will be helpful in some way, if only as an expression of understanding for what you are going through. Only you can decide if you are ready to become pregnant -- if you do, this forum is a great place to get advice and encouragement to stay on the healthiest track possible.
Stebby
Cathlete
Hi, mlank64!! Boy, are our stories ever similar. I was heavy for years and in 2000, I lost 33 lbs, going from 166 lbs to 133. My husband desperately wanted a child, and I was pretty sure I wanted one too (neither of us has ever had a kid before) except I was terrified of the weight gain. I'm a few years older than you -- we finally started trying just after my 40th birthday, last July, and it "took" in November. Now I'm 41 (as of last Monday) and 34 weeks pregnant. I am heavier than I've ever been, at 177 lbs, but let me tell you, I look way different (and better) than I did at 166. I've been working out consistently. My face is still slim. My arms and legs are kind of puffy looking, but they don't have the same "feel" as when I was merely fat. They feel spongy, rather than fat. My belly is, of course, huge (my 27" waist has blossomed to 42"). The funny thing is that some time over the last couple of months, I lost my fear of getting and staying fat. I have tried, more or less successfully, to keep to the healthy eating guidelines I learned at Weight Watchers, just adjusted them so I am eating the recommended calories for a pregnant woman. I know that I have put the weight on with healthy food, not junk (at least, most of the time!), I haven't lost much if any muscle (I can still work out comfortably with almost the same weights I did before I was pregnant) and I have absolute confidence that I can lose any fat that remains, because I have done it before!
The best advice I can give you is to learn the healthy eating guidelines for pregnancy and do your best to stick to them. That means eating a balanced, nutritious diet, adding about 100 extra calories per day (over and above your weight maintenance level) for the first trimester, and 300 extra per day for the second and third trimesters -- which isn't a lot of extra food. Make sure you drink TONS of water. For exercise, cut yourself a little slack (there will be days when your body tells you it just doesn't have the energy to work out, and you must listen to it), but do try to find a level of activity that works for you. You will find that you'll need to reduce your intensity; it's important to make sure you don't get overheated and that you're never gasping for breath.
I am not sure about the notion that smaller women are doomed to put on more weight than larger women. I have seen small women who stay small, and others who follow a more "normal" pregnant pattern. Pregnancy weight gain guidelines do suggest that a woman who starts out underweight should gain 28-40 lbs (as opposed to a normal-weight woman, who should gain 25-35 lbs). Maybe that's where this idea came from? Anyway, if I were you, I wouldn't kill myself trying to lose more weight. You're within normal weight range now for your height and if you get too thin, you may have trouble conceiving.
Remember -- you, too have done it before, so you have the skills to lose weight if you need to again. And, also, no matter how much weight you gain, remember that 20 lbs of it is fluid and baby -- it's not all fat! If you can maintain healthy eating habits, you'll be way ahead of the game.
Good luck!
Stebby
The best advice I can give you is to learn the healthy eating guidelines for pregnancy and do your best to stick to them. That means eating a balanced, nutritious diet, adding about 100 extra calories per day (over and above your weight maintenance level) for the first trimester, and 300 extra per day for the second and third trimesters -- which isn't a lot of extra food. Make sure you drink TONS of water. For exercise, cut yourself a little slack (there will be days when your body tells you it just doesn't have the energy to work out, and you must listen to it), but do try to find a level of activity that works for you. You will find that you'll need to reduce your intensity; it's important to make sure you don't get overheated and that you're never gasping for breath.
I am not sure about the notion that smaller women are doomed to put on more weight than larger women. I have seen small women who stay small, and others who follow a more "normal" pregnant pattern. Pregnancy weight gain guidelines do suggest that a woman who starts out underweight should gain 28-40 lbs (as opposed to a normal-weight woman, who should gain 25-35 lbs). Maybe that's where this idea came from? Anyway, if I were you, I wouldn't kill myself trying to lose more weight. You're within normal weight range now for your height and if you get too thin, you may have trouble conceiving.
Remember -- you, too have done it before, so you have the skills to lose weight if you need to again. And, also, no matter how much weight you gain, remember that 20 lbs of it is fluid and baby -- it's not all fat! If you can maintain healthy eating habits, you'll be way ahead of the game.
Good luck!
Stebby
LizN
Cathlete
RE: It's OK
I think it's perfectly normal to stress out about the weight thing. I had a real struggle with my first pregnancy (gained 60 pounds and took awhile to get rid of them), yet with this pregnancy I started a lot lighter and much fitter, yes, even with a slightly altered body shape than before my first. Unbelievably, although my abs aren't what they used to be, my body shape changed for the better (I'm now a lot "longer and leaner"). Apparently this is fairly common (according to Dr Clapp in his "Exercising Through Your Pregnancy" book).
The sentiments that the others shared about eating well and staying healthy can't be emphasized enough I think - I didn't really pay any attention to the quality of what I was eating last time and this time at 29 weeks have gained about 20 pounds (compared with 40 at the same time 1st preg). I like to think of pregnancy as part of a normal lifespan and my motto during this pregnancy has been "life goes on!" including my exercise regime.
Hazel brought up a really good point about your whole perspective changing when you're a mother - you do care about your shape, but you lose a lot of your body image issues (well I did anyway
).
Let's face it, pregnancy and birth is a sometimes hard, but wonderful journey, but worth every stretch mark (or not!) in the end!
Good luck with your decisions,
Liz N
I think it's perfectly normal to stress out about the weight thing. I had a real struggle with my first pregnancy (gained 60 pounds and took awhile to get rid of them), yet with this pregnancy I started a lot lighter and much fitter, yes, even with a slightly altered body shape than before my first. Unbelievably, although my abs aren't what they used to be, my body shape changed for the better (I'm now a lot "longer and leaner"). Apparently this is fairly common (according to Dr Clapp in his "Exercising Through Your Pregnancy" book).
The sentiments that the others shared about eating well and staying healthy can't be emphasized enough I think - I didn't really pay any attention to the quality of what I was eating last time and this time at 29 weeks have gained about 20 pounds (compared with 40 at the same time 1st preg). I like to think of pregnancy as part of a normal lifespan and my motto during this pregnancy has been "life goes on!" including my exercise regime.
Hazel brought up a really good point about your whole perspective changing when you're a mother - you do care about your shape, but you lose a lot of your body image issues (well I did anyway
). Let's face it, pregnancy and birth is a sometimes hard, but wonderful journey, but worth every stretch mark (or not!) in the end!
Good luck with your decisions,
Liz N