returning to work

[tinytaebo2]

Hi everyone! I'm so embarrassed about my last post regarding something so shallow as losing my belly postpardum. There are so many other things to be concerned with. I am having a slight depression about returning to work in one month. My son, Dante, will only be 2 and a half months old and I don't want to leave him for even a minute, let alone 9 hours. I'm in need of advice. I'm considering only working 4 days a week for 8 hour shifts- I work for Costco Wholesale in the Optical Dept. Anyhow, I was listening to my in-laws say that 8 hours is too long to be away from my baby. They recommend 5 or 6 hour shifts. I need to work at least 28 to 30 hours a week. Would it be best to work 4 eight hour days, or 5 six hour days? I am also breast feeding, but will be pumping. My husband and I miscarried our first baby just before I was pregnant with Dante. This makes it easy to justify not working too much. One only gets one chance to raise her child. My son is sooooo adorable that I can't imagine leaving him, although it will be our families that watch him while we work. I don't need to use day care, fortunately.
One other question I have is if anybody has any ideas about working out of the home. I would do anything to be with my son more often.
Thanks for any advice you can give. I'm torn over this.
Thank you-
Alicia

 

[lwseymour]

Hi Alicia,
You shouldn't feel bad about your last post. There is nothing wrong with trying to get your pre-baby body back. Honestly, I don't have any suggestions about your return to work except to say that I understand the sad feelings you have. My son is 5 years old and I still have sad feelings every morning when I leave. I did some research about work-at-home jobs but I never found anything that was realistic. I will, however, keep checking this post in hopes that somebody has some good suggestions for you about work-at-home jobs. I wish I could be of more help to you, but please know that I sympathize with you. Everything will turn out just fine regardless of what you decide!
Lisa

 

[lynn]

Hi Alicia-
I have a job where I travel alot and when I am not on an airplane I get to work at home and not go into an office. I am due w/ my first at the end of Sept. Once the baby comes, I am going to cut down my travel drastically and continue to work at home more. I love being a telecommuter, I can't imagine working any other way at this point..

Would your employeer let you do some of your work at home? Is there phone work or paper work that you could easily do from home instead of going to the office even one of the days you would normally go into work? That is definitely a trend out there now.
It wouldn't hurt to ask...with the lack of good people out there now for hire, some bosses will do the unconventional to keep employees..
Good luck!
Lynn

 

[Hazel]

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Jul-23-01 AT 05:20PM (Est)[/font][p]Hey Alicia! Boy can I relate to your post. When I first went back to work when Lauren was 11 weeks old, I felt like somebody had ripped my heart out of my chest. I'm only exaggerating a little -- really, it physically HURT to be away from her. I was useless for at least the first month because I thought about her about every two minutes and could barely concentrate on work. And that was with my mom watching her for that first month.

I will tell you that it does get easier with time, although frankly there are still days that I feel very blue not seeing my little darling for so much of the day and consider chucking the job to be a full-time mom. But as she has gotten bigger and continued to thrive and hasn't taken to calling her teachers mama or forgetting who I am, I have come to trust that she and I will be OK and that this is the situation that works for our family right now.

I think my point is (and I do have one!) that you shouldn't rely on anyone else's opinion of what is an "appropriate" amount of time for you to be away from the baby. You and Dante will have to figure that out for yourselves. You definitely should feel out your employer about flex-time type options or doing some work from home (although realize that if you're going to work from home, you're still going to need someone to watch the baby so you can get things done). But I promise you you will figure out the best solution for you and your new family. It will take a little time, but you will reach a solution that works eventually.

Now get back to lovin' on that little boy and stop worrying! That's an order! (Did that sound tough enough?)

 

[Kris E]

Hi Alicia,
I know exactly how you feel! My son is 16 months old and I too, returned to work when he was 10 weeks old. I first left him with my sister-in-law until she had her second child and he now stays with a trusted family friend, but I only work 3 days a week. I disagree with the 8 hour shift being too long however that's just my opinion. If Dante is staying with family and not daycare (and you ARE fortunate!) 8 hours a day really isn't that bad. Believe me - you DO get used to it. It's very hard at first but it gets easier. If you can swing 4 days a week instead of 5 - DO IT!!!! 3 days a week is the BEST thing I ever did and I really don't mind going to work! It's actually a nice break to be around adults and friends. I miss my son but I don't mind working part-time. I also breast fed my son and I just pumped at work. At first I had to pump twice a day and then as he was feeding less often I only had to pump over my lunch break and then nurse him as soon as I walked in the door. If you have a refrigerator at work, it makes it very easy. Just pump right into a bottle, cap it and put it in the fridge!

My suggestion for "at-home" work would be to visit the website www.work-at-home-jobs.com. I don't know what your financial requirements are, but it's worth a look. It doesn't sound like your job would allow you to do much from home. I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted on how you make out with looking for an alternative employment source! An added tidbit - I'm now pregnant with my second child and due at the end of January! We're very excited and the part-time job will remain in my schedule. Take care!

Kris

 

[Andrea]

Hi Alicia,

Just a little background first. While preg with my first my husband lit out. I had no choice but to work. With my second I was able to take 12 weeks off and enjoyed every day. I did not want to go back, but didn't think we could swing it any other way. After working 3 mo. I have really gotten down and dirty with our bills and just submitted my resignation. I will be watching 2 kids to help out a little. I'm making my own wipes, baby food, no convenience foods. It helps that I actually enjoy this stuff, and being home with my kids has always been VERY important to me.

Now, don't let anyone tell you what is right for you. You are like no one else. I currently work 4 8 hour days. It is so great to have that extra day for grocery shopping, housework, or just a mini vacation without using days from work. I requested it when my first was about a year old.

I feel terrible that all these Moms have to leave their babies. I know it is also sometimes hard to get a husband to understand. You are also VERY lucky that you have family to watch him. I had a friend watching my first when he 1 1/2. She did the unspeakable. Went out partying, came home LATE (we had been to the next town looking for her), drunk, my baby had a rash and was starving. I know this is a long post. I just can relate so well to what you're going through. I probably won't be able to buy videos anymore much, but it doesn't even matter. You only have one time to raise your children. Give them love and the rest is just details.

Andrea