ERica, some people on this forum already know some of the difficulties I have had with my daughter, but we are slowly trudging uphill. We have always felt she was wired differently, and actually had the school test her in 5th grade. They found she was of average intelligence, extremely right brained, but not needing special services. she also had an eye issue that was caught in 4th grade, and while she did therapy to correct this, I now strongly believe this skewed the testing results to a certain extent.
In 5th grade we asked for and got a teacher that was no nonsense, my way or the highway, but interesting and animated. We also asked for special math and reading. She was transfered into regular reading within 3 weeks, because she did not need the special reading, but she remained in the Math class all year, and it really helped her. 5th grade was a good year.
In 6th grade she moved to the middle school, and it was a disaster. Bad grades in every class. We struggled with her, we worked with her teachers, and by the end of the year, she was doing OK.
In 7th grade, things just got worse and worse, to the point that I was really worried about her mental health as well. This was the point that we decided to have her tested by an outside psychologist recommended by a friend. This was one of the best things we did and although not cheap, well worth the money.
My daughter has a gifted IQ, but has a visual learning disability and is a verbal learner. So things like reading the textbooks, taking notes, are disastrous. The 5th grade teacher was very verbal in her teaching, hence she did well. She is also ADHD - inattentive, the type of ADHD that gets missed. She is the quiet kid, that is sitting in the back of the room daydreaming....and missing every single instruction the teacher is giving.
Armed with this evaluation, we went back to the school and now was able to set up meetings with the social worker, the psychologist and all the teachers to explore how to help her. One problem we have is now that she is older, she does not want the stigma of special education, nor will she take any ADHD meds. So we are doing "quiet" intervention. She sits at the front of the classroom. The teachers are in touch with me immediately if she starts having difficulty turning in assignments. They also give me extra review materials before tests. I am in touch with them immediately if I see an area that she is struggling with and she can use extra help. We utilize her friends to help her remember things, and when I found the Science section she was in was filled with disruptive kids, with the teachers blessing, I contacted the principal to move her to a different section, and it was done two days later.
She goes to HS next year, and the junior high people will be putting us in contact with her counslers so we can figure out the best combination of teachers and times so that she succeeds.
About conferences with kids. We tried that last year, and it was horrible. My daughter does not want bad grades, she is trying, and it is frustrating to take a test, think you did well, only to fail, which she does time and time again. And when you verbally quiz her, she knows it. So taking her to a conference and having the teachers tell her she could do better, just made her very tearful, not a good situation, and we will not have her in there again. One thing I did this fall, is I met with the 4 main teachers separately. I put the two classes she struggles with first, and saved the language arts class, which she excels in last. So when we left the school, we left on a high note, after talking to a teacher who told us she would love 20 of our daughter. So if you have to bring your child, set your conferences up to leave on a high note.
About teachers. Every teacher we have worked with in the public school system and the administrators as well have bent over backwards to help my daughter. I think it is because we came in there and said, here is the problem, we are willing to put extreme effort into helping her, but we need your help. All of them came to the table ready to help and implement a plan that would work for her. These teachers are dealing with things that we did not have to deal with when young. I have spent a lot of time volunteering in the classroom, and teachers are doing the very best with the hand they are given. Sara, your statement was very broad, blaming teachers. Teach a few years and see how you feel. It is very easy to critisize when you have not dealt with what these teachers have been dealing with for years and years.
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