Question about Love

I met my DH in college. I made the 1st move by telling a mutual friend that I wanted to meet him, mostly because he was sort of the campus clown, and always seemed to be having fun. She introduced us, and he took me to a movie that evening, just as friends. I remember thinking I could never get romantically interested in this guy, he is just too funny looking. Well, the friendship blossomed, turned to romance and we've been married for 29 years this May. Neither of us has ever had any regrets or doubts.
 
My DH was mysterious to me and I wanted to find out more so he kept my interest going and we went out on a date and we just had more things in common then I could imagine. He was different then the bad boys that I had dated previously and I needed a change anyhow. I knew from then on that this could work. He had his head screwed on straight, confident, very attractive, etc. We just kept dating, and he had to leave to go on a trip. He sent me roses while he was gone. I knew I was falling then. When he came back, I was hopelessly in love when I looked into his eyes. You just know it. Your heart beats faster, you can't think because your too busy floating around in a cloud of love, and so on.

Charlotte~~
 
Has anyone read the article about Love in last month's National Geographic? People in love have the same brain chemisty as people with certain mental illnesses.
 
My DH asked me to our junior prom and we were never apart after that. We got married two weeks after graduating high school almost 16 years ago.

We don't recommend this to our children! Marriage is really difficult and requires a great deal of fortitude to ride through the rough times, but it has allowed (forced) me to grow and become a person I couldn't have otherwise.
 
Well ladies I so enjoyed reading your love stories. The reason for this post was because for the first time since my first love in High school I am a wreck, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't stop smiling (I am 35 so I've been there and back a few times, LOL). I met a guy and I knew at our first date it was all over for me. I am pretty sure he feels something close to it if not the same. We had a very long dinner date and hung out after at another bar this past Saturday, no drinking invloved and I was still giddy. He asked me to watch Superbowl with him the next night at his house, just the 2 of us. Hes a perfect gentleman too didn't try to jump me or anything, LOL, like most guys from day 1. When he kissed me goodbye I thought I put my finger in a light socket. I sent him a very short thank you email for a lovely weekend on Mon morning and he called me that night, this is shocking to me because I have met a lot of jerks. I really want to be with this man!!! Heres the kicker, he is originally from the midwest and has traveled quite a bit for his job. He was supposed to stay here for good but the position fell through. He found out day before our first date and called to tell me so I didn't think he was making excuses after the date. He also said he almost cancelled because he knew he would like me, but couldn't resist. So within the next week I may find out he is moving again, possibly to TX. I know he hates the east coast so I may be the only reason for him to stay but since we just met its too much to ask of someone. He asked my opinion on our date at first I said I shouldn't comment because we just met but he asked again and I said I want you to stay. He said flying back and forth would not be a problem and he would go to any lengths for the right person. I am so scared he will leave and we missed our chance. Please keep your fingers crossed!!!!
 
Hey Skyeblu:

If it's meant to be you guys will find a way to work it out! DH and I had a similar thing, I was due to move back to my life in NY a few months after we met. I knew, and he knew, that he could never live in the city. It was scary to change everything when we had only been together a short while, but I knew that I wanted to be with him above all else. So I gave up my apartment, my business contacts, pretty much the life I had created in the last 7 years. It hasn't been easy - no friends, really, and I loathe where we are living for now - but being with DH outweighs all that, no contest. There's nothing like having a partner in life, and good relationship where you are together because you choose to be, not because you feel like you can't live without a man (or women).

GOOD LUCK!!

Sparrow

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
I agree with Sparrow. After I met DH is school and we started to get romantically involved, we both figured it would only last the last 4 weeks we had together at school. He lived near Pittsburgh. I was from the opposite end of the state. He, fortunately, applied for and got a job a few miles from my home. We spent the following summer together and decided to get married when I would graduate in 2 years. We discussed and decided that his job would have priority and we would move where he needed to go for work. I work in a field which allows me to get a job almost anywhere. It worked. You both need to be sane, though, about important issues like each others jobs, families, children, religion, money handling philosophies etc, etc. I imagine it is harder if you are both older and somewhat settled. We were still pretty much kids and pretty flexible.
 
I have my own business which technically I could work from anywhere although I am deeply attached to my family and that makes it sticky. He can also work up here but the really good job he wants is in TX. He said he may only be in TX for a while and will be back up here. I think he is afraid to say anything more since its so soon and could scare me off. I mean who talks about life together on the first date, although we did skim the subject quite a few times in a joking manner.

Sparrow: Your situation seems very close to mine. Hes mentioned flying up all the time and me flying down if it need be. Can people really know so soon, I guess I am frightened by what I am feeling as this all took me by surprise. I have always had a whatever attitude about finding someone and this is scary for me. After so many losers along the way you kinda get discouraged and expect the worst. Someone like this and feeling like this doesn't seem real or possible. How soon did your hubby tell you he knew? Was he afraid to tell you?
 
>I have my own business which technically I could work from
>anywhere although I am deeply attached to my family and that
>makes it sticky. He can also work up here but the really good
>job he wants is in TX. He said he may only be in TX for a
>while and will be back up here. I think he is afraid to say
>anything more since its so soon and could scare me off. I mean
>who talks about life together on the first date, although we
>did skim the subject quite a few times in a joking manner.
>
>Sparrow: Your situation seems very close to mine. Hes
>mentioned flying up all the time and me flying down if it need
>be. Can people really know so soon, I guess I am frightened by
>what I am feeling as this all took me by surprise. I have
>always had a whatever attitude about finding someone and this
>is scary for me. After so many losers along the way you kinda
>get discouraged and expect the worst. Someone like this and
>feeling like this doesn't seem real or possible. How soon did
>your hubby tell you he knew? Was he afraid to tell you?

Hi Skyeblue:

I think you can know soon, especially as you get older in life and have been through the losers, which believe me I have. DH was absolutely more cautious than I was in expressing his feelings. He wasn't reluctant so much as he was hesitant. But I went more on what he was doing rather than what he was saying or not saying. He called when he said he would call. He was respectful of my love for my family. He went out of his way to make sure we had fun plans (hey, where have those days gone, LOL). When I told him I wasn't planning on jumping into bed with him any time soon, he respected that (sorry if that's TMI!). I think what sealed it for me was when we went to Virginia from New England, for my bro's wedding. This was a couple of months after we started going out. This guy rode, for ten hours, in the small back seat of a rental mini-van with me, my best friend, my sister, her DH, and the kids. Never once did he complain, or roll his eyes or look upset about anything, even when he and I and my best friend had to squeeze together in one seat to make room for the car seats. And then, about an hour outside of our destination, my poor niece, who was about 2, had a total blow-out in her diaper. Poor girl was shrieking from the gas pains. Things were in chaos by the time we got to the hotel; My best friend and I ran in with my nephew to check-in, my brother in law attempted to manage the rental car and the luggage, and my sister grabbed room keys and flew to the room with my (very stinky!) niece. While all this is going on I'm thinking about DH, "my god, he's going to think we're insane. Who'll want to stay around this madness?" And then, what do I see but DH, hot on my sister's heels, yelling, 'I've got the diaper bag!" And off he sailed to help her with the baby, flashing me a big smile as he went past. Compare to the boyfriend before him, the one who was so unhappy to spend time with my family that I caught him smoking a joint in the backyard!!! I just knew then that I was willing to make a HUGE leap of faith for our relationship. He was - and is - the most kind and decent man, and I have not regretted my decision for a second. That said, I knew there were no guarantees, since should be together doesn't always mean will be together, but I had to try.

Sorry so long! My point is that his behavior said everything, even if his man mouth couldn't :p He defied every (low) expectation I had about men. My entirely subjective advice would be that if you like this guy and his behavior towards you is loving and kind, don't be afraid to go for it. The losers have hurt you once, don't let them hold you back now!

Sparrow

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
Sparrow, thats such a great story, he sounds like an incredible man!

So far hes done everything above and beyond what he says and hes a perfect gentleman in every way. I think he can tell I am not the jumping into anything physical soon type as I think hes a slow mover too, which is awesome. Believe me if he asked me to move, I would! LOL. Like you said, if its meant to happen it will. I'll let you know if its a happy ending.

Thanks for the advice, I love hearing what you all have to say.
:+
 
>I think you can know soon, especially as you get older in life
>and have been through the losers, which believe me I have.

>When I told him I wasn't planning on jumping
>into bed with him any time soon, he respected that (sorry if
>that's TMI!).

>Sorry so long! My point is that his behavior said everything,
>even if his man mouth couldn't :p He defied every (low)
>expectation I had about men. My entirely subjective advice
>would be that if you like this guy and his behavior towards
>you is loving and kind, don't be afraid to go for it. The
>losers have hurt you once, don't let them hold you back now!
>
>Sparrow
>
>Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of
>arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but
>rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn
>out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage



Yes , yes, yes!!! (and my DH and I didn't sleep together until our wedding night--how's that for TMI?)

I have a dear brother with paranoid schizophrenia. My DH is so kind to him I'm in tears as I type this. My DB has a serious problem sitting still. We were gathered at my sister's home one afternoon when my DB went outside and started walking around the house--I mean, around, and around, and around. My DH bundled up and joined him and kept him company until he was ready to come inside. He was the only one in the family willing to eat a piece of cake that my brother had baked. I mean, god only knows what was in that thing--it looked and smelled terrible. The rest of us made excuses, but my DH said sure, he'd take a slice. He has taken my brother shopping, out to dinner, to movies, etc. You can't fake that kind of decency and kindness.

Michele
 
I think my DH definitely knew on the first date. He kept following me around like a puppy dog, coming up with more stuff for us to do so that the date wouldn't end. That first date lasted all day and evening! I didn't try all that hard to shake him though. ;-)
-Nancy
 
My sister was a single mom for 20 years, then she met her husband. Her daughter introduced them. You may think it is not in the cards for you, but just rephrase that. It is not in the cards for you, YET!.

Jean
 
DH and I started off a little differently, I think. When we first met through mutual friends, I couldn't stand him! He just stood there, didn't speak to me or anyone. He wouldn't take his sunglasses off or make eye contact with anyone. I thought he was the biggest jerk. When he finally did speak, he said all the wrong things at all the wrong times. Blech! He gave me his number, actually all of his numbers, (I was thinking WTH! why would he think I was interested!) and started coming to my softball games and somehow ended up where I was (at parties or restaurants with friends) even though I never called him. He was relentless, really. I finally succumbed to him and after the first date we couldn't keep our hands off of each other, and I had never in my life felt so light or high, my face hurt from smiling so much, and I felt so natural around him. We had to be with each other or talking to each other every second of every day. I guess knew. :D I am not really sure when "I knew", but it was really different from the beginning, so looking back I can say it was from the very start.

Missy
 
I knew my first DH was the one, then after a week of marriage I knew he wasn't.

I thought about what I wanted the second time around and stayed engaged to now DH for two years before taking the plunge. I'm glad I did. My current marriage is far better than I could hope for.
 
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