PTs--how do you motivate clients? Kind of long........

LauraMax

LauraMax

Cathlete
I've been training with a friend for about 5-6 months now. She swears she wants to do my routine & wants the same body type I have. She's a little taller but she is built similarly.

But her workouts have been spotty. Like, one week we'll do our leg routine together, & tris/shoulders, but she'll do back/bis & chest on her own & I know she's not following my routine. She's gonna end up completely out of proportion--my routine has been developed over the years for maximum effectiveness for my body type & every exercise has a specific purpose. She's been working out for about 18 mos. & I think when she goes on her own it's a little of this & a little of that without any thought or purpose.

I can barely talk to her about cardio & core. She's totally obsessed w/her abs--she does something like 300-400 crunches a day. But she does absolutely no cardio at all. During the last 2 weeks she's started doing 20 minutes or so on the elliptical a few times a week. She absolutely refuses to even try one of Cathe's workouts. She says she's not coordinated enough even though I told her there are basic workouts & she could work her way up to the more fun stuff.

And the diet! THE DIET! She doesn't eat........when she gets to the gym I ask her what she's eaten that day & about 80% of the time the answer is "nothing." Otherwise I'll hear "last night I ate an entire box of sugar donuts and I feel so guilty." I'm pretty sure she has an eating disorder b/c she is super-thin (5'6", 105 lbs) but I have no idea how to approach it without offending her or hurting her feelings.

Finally, the social aspect--I think before she started training w/me the gym was more of a social thing for her than anything else. I'm a no-nonsense exerciser, & much of this has to do w/time. I don't want my one hour lifting workout to turn into 2 1/2 hours. She's extremely outgoing & has this passel of groupies who are continually interrupting us just to BS. Usually I just ignore them & continue exercising but when she keeps chatting she holds me up.

So I'm kind of thinking about not training with her anymore. I love her dearly and of course we'll stay friends, but I kind of feel like I'm wasting my time w/her if she's gonna pick & choose when she'll train w/me & which body part she'll do, & if she's not gonna eat right b/c she's kind of undoing any progress she's made.

Any thoughts or suggestions?
 
Hello Laura,

I think if this training partnership is causing such consternation then break it up. I can understand your position as well as hers; you are a serious exerciser whereas she is full of good intentions, but lacks motivation. You want to help her, but you have to understand you can't do that until she wants to do it for herself! Tell her if she is serious then she should go to a personal trainer (and pay for it! Maybe that will motivate her) who can help her better than you. A PT will either not care because they've got the money, or will make her work harder without being too soft. I think because you are friends, you don't assert yourself enough for fear of ruining the friendship.

Yen
 
I agree. This happens in many cases which is why I usually don't workout with friends unless it is extra or a light day. Maybe you can let her know occasionally that you are time constricted (have plans) and need to be really efficient with your limited time. She probably doesn't really push through the workout because she has no energy from not eating. I wouldn't feel bad but I would slowly start to do your own thing.

I hope it works out (no pun intended) for you!

Keep us posted.

Erin :)
 
LauraMax,

I would love to train with you... I would be a very obedient and cooperative "student". I think you look awesome and I can't believe your friend is wasting such a golden opportunity. I think you should tell her how you feel, but in as nice a way as possible. Let her know that if she is not willing to follow your program closely with the dedication and focus that is required... maybe it's best if she exercises on her own as it is impacting negatively on your own w/o.
 
I don't think your friend has made any committment. It doesn't appear she serious about eating right or working out properly. If she's not serious, I don't see why you'd even think she could be motivated.
 
<So I'm kind of thinking about not training with her anymore.
<

I think this is the appropriate course of action. Based on everything you wrote about her, it's totally apparent that she's not serious about making any training commitments. Sticking with her on this could hurt the non-gym friendship.

I'm very, very possessive about my workout time. If I was trying to help someone who really wasn't into it, I'd get really resentful, really quickly.
 
OK, sounds like I'm doing the right thing, thanks for the input. I don't resent her, but I do get annoyed w/all the chatting & wasting time, and I worry about her w/the food thing. She's gonna make herself sick unless she starts eating right. Up until this week I was scheduling my workouts around her instead of my own stuff. This week I did my own thing & she was pretty disappointed we didn't train together on Tuesday.

I think she is dedicated. She goes to the gym almost every night. I think her problem is she hasn't taken the time to educate herself & therefore doesn't really understand what she/I are doing & why.

I know when I first started I read everything I could get my hands on for about 5 years or so. Then I took everything I learned & tailored it to my own needs.

I don't think GF even knows Muscle & Fitness exists! :eek:
 
One thing that I know is that if I asked a friend for help, the last thing I would do is want to hold her up on her workout. Sounds like she really doesn't "get it". The reason she may not want to try a Cathe workout is because no one will see her in her living room doing her workout. This may be a poor comparison but I've been in golf and bowling leagues and women are there for different reasons. Some are there because they love to compete, some because they like the company and some are there just to get out. By the end of the season, scores and attendance will show you who is who! No reason is good or bad, just different. Your friend is at the gym for a different reason that you are. Don't let her reasons for going to the gym ruin your reasons. Do your thing and if she wants to join you let her but don't let her slow you down. We all know how important our workout time is!

Good luck
Diane
 
This is why I do not have any training buddies. None of my past ones have ever had the same training persona as I do - which is basically, get in, get out. Time needs to be managed and I do not have time to be in there four hours on end. One hour is enough for me. I have no problem having 'small talk' while inbetween sets but once my rest period is up, i'm back in the game. I take my training very seriously (but not too serious if that makes sense) so any interruptions like that would annoy and frustrate me. If she is not working well with you, I agree, you will have to break up this training partnership.

It is very hard to try to find a training partner with the same (or similiar) goals/attitude towards their training. This is why I have worked out alone for the last four years. I get a lot more accomplished this way. Maybe in the future I'll find a compatible training partner but in the meantime, i'm flying solo.

You know, i'm in NJ. I would train with you one day. It would be fun ;)
 
Yeah me too. I kind of get into a "zone" when I'm lifting & I really hate it when I'm interrupted. Usually it's by one of the staff who has nothing else to do so they wander around chatting w/members. And always it's a guy.

I think another part of the problem is she lives about 2 minutes from the gym & I live about 15 minutes away. Huge difference when you have at least a half hour travel time vs. less than 5 minutes.

Kathie, I'd love to train w/you! I so rarely get to meet Cathe fans much less work out w/them........where are you in NJ? Shoot me a PM & we'll see how we might connect.........:)
 
Yes! That's exactly it. You get into the 'zone' and any interruptions are not tolerable. One of my biggest pet peeves is a staff member coming over as your in the middle of an exercise trying to chat it up. I had one staff member do this to me as I was trying to bench press my personal best (PB) - without a spotter to boot. I had no attention I was able to give him and just wanted him to go away.

Where at in NJ? Oh, you are going to love this one --- Glassboro, NJ. (Yes, my gym is Cathe's) I am actually only two (maybe three) blocks away. It's only a three minute drive.
 
OMG how lucky are you? This'll make you laugh--I've been keeping my eye on job postings for Glassboro's municipal government so I could move there & join Cathe's gym. Is that a sign that I have a problem? :D
 
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