Poor Body Image?

S

secretiveone

New Member
I have been struggling with this for the past few days now and feel the need to talk.
Unfortunatly I think I may have some issues I need resloved. My eating is o.k and my workouts are even better. I live a normal life with a loving family and kids.
When is enough,enough? Last night I weighed myself and to my dismay the scale was up a little.... Since seeing this number on the scale, which is far from over weight, I feel gross. I feel as if I have magically gained 50 lbs.I cannot even explain to you the knot I got in my belly.Can you tell the scale rules my life? After seeing this number I was depressed,went to bed and decided to clean up my eating in the morning.
But why do I feel so awful all of a sudden? How do you know when I eating disorder is brewing? Is it when you see yourself as fat instead of lean and muscular? I know in my mind that I am far from fat and there are lots of people who would trade bod's with me in a heart beat, but why can't i see what everyone else sees? Instead when I look in the mirror I see things that need improvement.
I know I am never going to be a fitness model or anything like that so why do I strive to have a bf% of one? No one is going to notice..only myself.
Does anyone else suffer from poor body image or have in the past? What tips do you have for me to get out of this rut? I want to lead a normal life that doesn't get turned upside down by what the scale tells me!
 
First, how about getting rid of that scale? I own my very first one, EVER, that I bought just this past October, and I swear the thing is PURE EVIL! It's so hard to NOT get caught up in the numbers. I prefer the tape measure and my jeans, as ways to track my progress!

Second, you ARE NOT ALONE! I can remember in college, when my fitness journey officially began. I would be on the treadmill in front of a mirror. I'd see myself one second as toned and lean. Then I would blink and I'd see soemthing completely different...pudgy, dimply, yuckky! LOL

It's all in our minds! You've listed what IS WONDERFUl in your life: your health, your family, your healthy eating and your workouts. It really IS all in our minds, and it's not a sudden quick-fix. It's one day at a time thinking, knowing that you ARE YOU and you ARE HEALTHY!

I hope that helps, even a little bit!

Gayle
 
On the practical note -- why do you weigh yourself in the evening when you are the heaviest? Maybe it's just that.
 
Very recently I let myself get caught up in the measurement thing. Fortunately I realized what was happening before it got the best of me. Like you, I know I'm not anywhere near being overweight, I eat well, and I'm in shape. I took that knowledge and then took a step back. I thought very hard about the goals I had set, and was very honest about what it would take to meet them. I realized that the effort was far more than it was worth, and that it probably would harm me instead of making me healthier.

My advice is to stop right now and ask yourself why your goals - a certain weight or body fat percentage, right? - are important to you. Obviously you don't need to change for health reasons. Is it vanity? Is it competition with someone else? If it makes you this anxious, then it's probably not right for you.
 
I could have written this post. I had a total breakdown a few days back after weighing myself. I have serious body image issues and the only times in my life when they didn't bother me, was when I was just working out and having fun with it, I did it to stay healthy and feel good, not as a means to have a certain percent bodyfat. I ate healthy but never denied myself anything.

All that changed a few weeks ago when I took on a new strict diet and exercise program. I started it to challenge myself, I wanted to see how far I could go, get really, really lean (my normal bodyfat is 18 percent, I wanted to get down to 14 or lower.) I broke down and flipped out.

Right now I am following the same diet plan, but not denying my body anything it might want--within reason, you know what I mean. I am developing better eating habits like getting enough protein, but not obsessing over it every waking minute. Thats where I am at right now, I still have a lot of work to do with this issue. You are not alone at all. The scale is evil, and has the power to ruin my day. Not anymore.
 
I've been there too.

One day, I will feel strong and great, the next like two-ton-Tilda.

My husband blames hormones, but I wonder if I will obssess over food and body my whole life. I certainly do not want to pass this perverse attitude onto my children. There are times when I feel like things are in complete control and I am normal and healthy, and then at times I am dismayed at how much time and energy I put into thinking about food/my weight/my body/how to obtain my goals. When I am a healthy weight, am in great shape, and eat really healthfully almost all of the time.

All I can say is do what you need to do to feel good about you. Focus only on the positive and do not allow negative thoughts to enter your head. I know that's hard to do, but I will try to do positive self talk when I catch myself doing negative self-talk.

Good luck, HTH :)
 
I too could have written this post. I think my issues with body image is that I used to be heavier and was teased growing up. Then when I was in my early 20's I started to take care of myself better. Now, I'm 32 years old 5'10 and a muscular 153-156 pounds and have a 2 1/2 year old and at times I'm happy with this and other times I can only focus on the negatives. I also know that there are people who would trade places with me but I also think that there are so many people that look better than me. I think it's just the perfectionist in me and also the fear that I don't want to go back to what I used to be. I don't know why the scale tends to "make or break" my days but it does.

It is so comforting to know that I'm not the only one who thinks this way.
 
Thank you ladies so much for your kind words! I know I am not alone, but sometimes it feels like I am. The reason why I asked when do you know a eating disorder is in the works is b/c I went to bed Mon night thinking that the next day I wasn't going to eat!
One of the posters asked how come I weigh myself in the night. I weigh myself numerous times thoughout the day. When I weighed myself Mon night and seen that I was up a fair bit from my last nightly weigh in, i knew that in the morning the scale was going to be up from my last morning weigh in! Thats why I say I am a slave to the scale! Atleast i didn't raid the cupboards after seeing this #.
Thanks again ladies! You all are awesome!
 
Weighing yourself numerous times per day definitely indicates a problem. What do you think is going to change in a few hours? All you are seeing are fluctuations in water retention, not real body fat changes, over the course of a day, or even a week. I'm sure you already know this in your mind, but your emotions aren't "hearing" it.

The scale is just a scale. It can't bring you the peace of mind, comfort and sense of control you seek. For that, you need to look at your life and what's going on with you. You are probably feeling very stressed out about something. With me, it's usually some new challenge I'm facing, or emotions I can't get under control. Combine the challenges of life with a touch of OCD,(it runs in my family), and I start compulsively counting calories or obsessing about the scale, distracting myself from the real issues. I think there are a few of us here who have a tendency to do that.

In short, it's time to stop looking at the scale and start looking at yourself and your life, and figure out what's going on, perhaps with the help of a counselor. Let us know how you're doing.
 
I've struggled with this very thing in the past, so that's why this recommendation is going to be very, very blunt:

F*** the scale, and F*** the body fat percentages. Start measuring real PERFORMANCE BASED successes. Aesthetic based goals are a bunch of CRAP. I'll state that as fact, not just opinion.

Keep track of increases in strength, speed and endurance. These are measurable and tangible and will make you feel POWERFUL!!

I started doing this when I got into CrossFit last summer and I was stunned at the positive changes in made in my exercise and eating attitude.

For instance:
* Run 5k for time, then 3 or 4 weeks later, run the same route again to improve the first time.
* Do as many pushups/pullups/situps/burpees/whatever as you can in 30 seconds or 1 minute. Write it down and test it again in a couple of weeks.
* REALLY find your single rep max in an exercise - do it instead of calculating it on a computer. Do 7 sets of 1 rep of an exercise, increasing the weight every time until you hit failure. Wait a month and do it again and see how you've improved. You can also do this in sets of 3 or 5 reps.

Seriously, this change in focus works. First toss your scale...NOW!
 
I often wonder if Cathe and the gals have this same problem? her body is part of her living, so I wonder how hard it is for Cathe? You have to really strict with your diet to stay as lean as her, Jai and Lorraine are. Cedie and Brenda are lean, but not as lean as the others which is totally okay--this is not a post slamming any of our favorite gals at all!

I just wonder if any of them struggle with body/eating issues. I would post in the ask Cathe, but maybe its none of my business.
 
I think poor body image is something everyone suffers from from time to time. I know there are days I don't feel as confident about myself as the day before. It may have nothing to do with the scale but the pair of jeans I choose to wear that may accent things I don't want attention brought to. Comparing ourselves to others is also not a good thing. I know I live in a town where everyone knows everybody and if someone puts on 10 lbs.....beleive me...the self obessesed person will notice and talk about it. Not b/c its a big deal, but b/c it makes them feel better about themselves.
I use to work with a women who was overweight but boy, did she have confidence! She walked with her head so high! There were times I wished I could trade places with her just b/c she was so proud!
I really don't think that we see our selves the way others see us.
I don't think you are alone in this matter at all but you may need to change your way of acting and thinking before greater things happen.
Like other posters have said, put the scale away and just measure yourself differently.
Best of luck!

Lori:)
 
One thing that I read this week in an article on sparkpeople.com is to remember that the scale is only a tool. You are not that number. You are something else, the number reflects only a small part of you physically. Who you are is dependant upon a multitude of way more important things.
 
I weigh myself every morning and chart the result because I'm trying to understand how what I eat and the exercise I do affects MY body. Yea, I roll my eyes A LOT but the results don't mess with my head so I can do it without getting too freaked out. If I knew how I'd show you my table, where I record my weight, in Word. It's kind of fascinating the way I'll go between 3 lbs for a week and then, boom, I'll drop 2 lbs. Then I'll go between a new range of lbs. for a while, then down again. But in between the downs, the lbs. go up, too. If I analyze the numbers it's like three steps forward, two steps back, three steps forward, two steps back... It doesn't seem like I'm losing but the numbers, over the long haul, show that I am indeed. I kind of enjoy the cataloging and have learned that the backward steps are just part of how changing bodies react. Of course, I can say that today because it's the first day I've hit my lowest number. I'll gain 3 lbs. tomorrow, then I'll lose 1.5, then another .5, then up 1 lb., then down .5, then down 2.5. As long as I can look back and SEE I'm going down, not up, it's cool.

If you're working out, building muscle (which equals losing fat), eating between 75-90% clean, you're okay. I know you already know muscle weighs more than fat but if the numbers are annoying you to the extent you can't stop dwelling then the other posters are right: you do need to toss the scale. Many people can't get on a scale without getting angry which is why most fitness experts will tell you to stay off it. But IF you're working on building muscle and you were to chart your results over a period of time (say, two months) you'd see you ARE ULTIMATELY making progress and the numbers would no longer upset you.
 
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