Pit Bull Situation

S

sparrow

Cathlete
Hi All,

Looking for opinions on this situation. DH and I have been getting friendly with a couple. Nice people, we've gone to dinner a couple of times and enjoyed it. She has invited us over for dinner weekend after next. Problem is, they have recently aquired a pit bull from her grown son, who can't care for it anymore. There's no way I'm going into a house with a purebred pit bull. Now, I know that there are probably Catheites who love/own/know pit bulls and feel that the breed has earned its reputation unfairly. I respect that point of view, but the reputation is what it is and, for someone like me who is extremely timid around 99 percent of dogs anyway, going into their house is just not an option with a pit bull roaming around. So my question is not "do pit bulls get a bad rap and should I go anyway?" but, should I be honest and let them know that their dog makes me uncomfortable? I know people love their dogs, and I absolutely don't want to insult them but if I do say something, maybe we can meet at a restaurant instead, or, they can put the dog in the bedroom or something. The other option is to decline the invite and then hope that the dog goes back to the son soon :D What do you guys think, etiquette-wise?

Sparrow


Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
I don't own a pit bull, but I've met a couple very sweet ones! I am STILL intimidated by them, though, as I am lots of dogs I don't know.

I would not have a problem at all if someone asked me to keep my very sweet, loving, playful golden retriever away (in fact I do so without anyone asking most times), so I would say go, and just tell your friend how you feel. Hopefully she will understand that you are extremely timid around most dogs and won't be offended.:)

Good luck,
Brandi
 
Well, as someone who was bitten by a Doberman (across the face, had many stitches and luckily no real scarring) as a kid, I understand your fear. I don't think it's insulting to call the woman and be honest that you are very uncomfortable around dogs, and would it be ok to keep the dog in another room while you are there? If they are really your friends, this should not be an issue. I have a dog (a Pug! much easier to deal with!), and I keep him crated and/or in another room when we have company. I think he's adorable but I know other people are not crazy about being mauled (even if only in love) by an animal.

So, long story short, I think if you're honest and nice and make it about your discomfort with dogs in general rather than their dog in particular, it should be ok.

Let us know how it goes!

Marie
 
I have a dog that is half Akita but is a complete marshmallow. He wags his tail and smiles at everyone but I can understand someone not wanting to be around him. He is imposing looking, and he is part Akita. They probably realize that many people do not care for that breed (I stay away) and if that is not okay with them, then so be it. Your comfort is more important.
 
I'd be honest and tell her beforehand. They most likely have somewhere - a pen, a garage, whatever - where they can keep the dog for the evening.

I love dogs and just about every animal around. I have a dog. My very good friend has... oh, four or so. But one of them simply does not like me and has bitten me twice. Not bad, but my friend now keeps him, at least, penned up when I visit. I think it's a very courteous thing to do, and I expect your new friends will respond in the same way.
 
I would most definately be honest and up front about it. As a dog owner I'm always conscious of those kinds of things when we have company over, and wouldn't hesitate in the slightest at putting our dog outside or in her crate if we had someone over that was uncomfortable in her presence.

Deni
 
Absolutely you should call her and tell you that you're uncomfortable around dogs, but would love to come over, and see what she says. I have an Aussie who just loves people, but I have friends who aren't really dog crazy, and when they come over I leave him in the garage, as I do whenever we have a large gathering.

Personally, Sparrow, I don't think your fears are groundless. I do canine search and rescue and have been around a lot of dogs, including some fabulous pit bulls. Of course, these dogs have been thoroughly trained and properly socialized. That's a lot of work - more work than most people are willing to do. As relaxed and comfortable as I am around dogs, I am wary of any dog I first meet until I know it's temperment. So, I really hope you don't feel bad asking this question of us, or asking your friend.
 
I would tell them the truth. You don't even have to say that it's the pitbull specifically but that dogs in general intimidate you and you would be much more comfortable if they kept the dog in a separate room while you are there. It's not too much to ask IMO. It's just for a few hours....

I once knew a pitbull that was very sweet but he was still a pup. I don't know what he was like once he became an adult as I lost touch with his owner...They certainly DO have a bad rap and I can't blame you for be apprehensive. Many say it's in the training and I do believe that but with a breed that has a bad reputation, I'd say better to be safe than sorry. These dogs are bred to fight, etc for a reason!

HTH!:)
 
I used to own two Rottweilers, so we had people who were a little uncomfortable with them. I would have had ABSOLUTELY NO problem if someone asked me to put them outside or in a room while they were there. I loved my dogs like my kids and in no way would that have offended me. I think most people who own dogs with a "bad" reputation aren't surprised by people being wary of them. I think by all means you should be honest and let them know how you feel. I'm sure they would be more than happy to accomodate you.

Katie
 
This is a topic I feel very strongly about. We have four dogs. When we are expecting company or even when a friend just drops in...our dogs go into our front porch and stay there until the company leaves. We have a permanently installed gate on the doorway to the porch just for keeping the dogs in there.

I have owned dogs all my life and I just feel it is rude to go to someone's home and have their dog jumping all over you or rubbing up against you leaving their hair behind...or their drool, whatever the case may be. And mind you, I love dogs. What I don't love is insensitive dog owners.

You should most definitely talk to the people and tell them you aren't a dog fan and when you come to their home will the dog be confined while you are there. That is a perfectly reasonable request.

And about Pit Bulls...my good friend has one and acquired it in the same way your friend did...inherited it from their son who could no longer care for the dog. Let's face facts...Pit Bulls are intimidating animals. I have worked with dogs all of my adult life and even I will pause when that dog walks into the same room we are in. Yes, she is a nice, gentle dog...but. When I visit this friend and any of my kids are with me...I do ask her to shut the dog up while we are there. I just don't trust her. But I would feel that way if it was any large dog, German Shepard, Rottweiler, Doberman, Collie, etc. just because dogs who are not used to being around kids could feel threatened and act out, for whatever reason.
 
Thanks for the responses everyone - you guys are awesome :D I don't feel so much like a weenie now! My concerns about dogs are based on bad experiences, so I feel justified in my reaction, I just didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, especially since I am desperate for new friends :D I'll call her and ask if she would mind restraining the dog somewhere else for the duration.

Also, I think it's fantastic that there are so many thoughful dog owners here.

THANKS!!

Sparrow


Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
My Brother and SIL have a lab and a rottweiler. When any of our children go over she puts them in the garage or outside. If I owned a pet I would ask company if they would rather me put the animal in another area of the house. Although some people don't think like that she may think you are ok with it if nothing has been said. Do you have allergies? Just a thought. Good Luck

beth6395
 
Hi Sparrow,

I have two Akitas one 100lbs. the other 92lbs., and people are deathly frightened of them. Even though I love dogs, including pit bulls, I am very conscience about people not liking/being afraid of them. All that to say, if you let them know that you are afraid of dogs..(I would keep it general) and that they make you uncomfortable, I would think that they would not have a problem with it. I put my dogs up all the time for people who are afraid/don't like dogs.

Hopefully, you'll be able to enjoy a stress free dinner!!!:p
 
You may be off the hoook without even knowing it! I used to have two german shephards. When we had guests in our home, they were never roaming the house but rather locked into a room or in an area of the house away from the guests. This was the case even with guests that enjoyed the company of large dogs. Perhaps your new friends do this?

That said, you should definitely mention that you are a little weary. It is TOTALLY understandable. Just say that it isn't their particular dog or breed but you are a little weary of strange dogs in general and you wanted to be honest with them. Talk to the one that you feel comfortable with and admit that you are a little queesy about it. Would they mind putting the dog into a room while you are there or maybe putting him outside? I guess if you feel the need you can also offer to have them over to your home as the alternative option. I bet that they won't mind your request at all! Dog owners are completely used to this!
 
While I do think pit bulls get a bad rap, I see no problem with guests who choose not to be around my dogs. Even my sweet little happy Vizsla freaks one of my sister's out. So all my dogs go back into their room when she comes over.

I spoil my dogs rotten but when I invite people over, people come first. And I'd much rather someone tell me they were afraid or nervous around the dog and just put the dog up.

I automatically put my Dobe up when people come over because 9 out of 10 people are scared to death of him. It's just more fun for everyone if he is in the back room.

Colleen
 
Hi Sparrow,

I have two pit bulls and have had many others. I am a huge pit bull advocate and I would always hope that someone would tell me if they were intimidated by my dogs because IF and only IF they were interested, I would love for them to meet my dogs - or at least one - just to see how very sweet they are. You'd be truly amazed at how many people they've won over. They have gotten such a bad rap in the media and unfortunately they get into the wrong hands and they are strong dogs and can do a lot of damage. So can other dogs. My husband is in law enforcement and has been on many calls regarding "pit bull" bites, only to find out the dog is something completely different. But I won't go into all that on this forum.

We always put our dogs behind one of those kiddie gates in our laundry room or another room where they can see us when people come over ONLY because they will sit on your lap and give you many, many, many kisses. They are super affectionate. If it's nice out, they go out in the back, but they stand on the deck by the back door making everyone feel sorry for them! People always beg us to let them in.

I'm not sure if these people are pit bull advocates or not, but I would mention your concerns to them. I'm sure it's not the first time they've heard it!!! They may like the opportunity to try to introduce you to their pit bull if it's sweet and then I'm sure they won't mind putting him/her away for the evening. Or you may be surprised and not feel the need to have the dog put away for the evening. :) Good luck and let us know how it turns out!

Note: Anyone who wants to send me "hate mail" about being a pit bull owner or your horror stories about pit bulls - please don't. They will be deleted. I've heard it all. :)

Susan

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." - Anatole France

http://www.picturetrail.com/dogs2birds
 
Susan,

Are both the dogs in your picture trail pit bulls? My gosh they are gorgeous - what pretty dogs!

Sparrow

(and a big thanks to all for keeping this post ON topic, with no rants either for or against pit bulls) :D

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
Sparrow

Its so wonderful that you are honest about the way you feel. I am a dog groomer and one thing I will admit as much as I love dogs (and cats!) - I personally will never trust any dog of any breed completely unless I know it really well. There is always an element of unpredictability with some dogs.

I think pitbulls receive a bad reputation because all the pit bulls I know are wonderful dogs. These dogs need plenty of exercise and socialization but so do many other breeds. It really is very much about the training and how experienced the owners are. IMO a border collie can be more temperemental than a pit bull in the wrong owner's hands. That being said some dogs can be trained to attack much more easily than others.

I personally never take offence when my friends or family ask for my dog to be put in a room. She has lots of toys and things to keep her happy in situations like that. Your friend probably won't mind. Besides most pitbull owners are resigned to the fact that their dogs are feared. In Canada, the pitbull ban caused so many dogs to lose their lives. Also the ones that are still fortunate to be around have to be muzzled and that's a pity because these dogs need to be social. Also dogs are like people. They have characteristics and quirks and like people they are affected by their parenting or ownership. Unfortunately they are stereo typed according to their breed without taking these variables into consideration. Still, you should never hesitate to tell someone that you are nervous around their dog. Its a good thing for you to be honest about - for you, the owner and the dog.

This is a great thread and so informative. Glad you bought it up.
 
Hi Sparrow,

Yup - they're both pit bulls. Thank you for the compliment. They think they're beautiful too. :) They are both sitting with us on the couch right now sleeping - little angels.

Susan

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." - Anatole France

http://www.picturetrail.com/dogs2birds
 
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