>>> PHILOSOPHY 101 ?
>>>
>>> Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries
>>> are getting weak?
>>>
>>> Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know
there
>>> is not enough?
>>>
>>> Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars,
>>> but check when you say the paint is wet?
>>>
>>> Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
>>>
>>> Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
>>>
>>> Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
>>>
>>> Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you
throw
>>> a revolver at him?
>>>
>>> Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
>>>
>>> Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
>>>
>>> If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
>>>
>>> Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
>>>
>>> Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the
bubbles are
>>> always white?
>>>
>>> Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
>>>
>>> Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
>>> something new to eat will have materialized?
>>>
>>> Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
>>> vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put
it
>>> down to
>>> give the vacuum one more chance?
>>>
>>> Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
>>>
>>> How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?
>>>
>>> When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
>>> shopping
>>> cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right?"
>>> Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid
>>> idiot?"
>>>
>>> Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
falling
>>> off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
>>>
>>> In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer
>>> when we complained about the heat?
>>>
>>> How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
>>>
>>> If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your
wife
>>> told you to do it?
>>>
>>> And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky
>>> diving!
>>>
>>> And my FAVORITE.
>>>
>>> The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
>>> suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three
best
>>> friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
>>>
>>> Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries
>>> are getting weak?
>>>
>>> Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know
there
>>> is not enough?
>>>
>>> Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars,
>>> but check when you say the paint is wet?
>>>
>>> Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
>>>
>>> Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
>>>
>>> Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
>>>
>>> Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you
throw
>>> a revolver at him?
>>>
>>> Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
>>>
>>> Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
>>>
>>> If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
>>>
>>> Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
>>>
>>> Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the
bubbles are
>>> always white?
>>>
>>> Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
>>>
>>> Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
>>> something new to eat will have materialized?
>>>
>>> Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
>>> vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put
it
>>> down to
>>> give the vacuum one more chance?
>>>
>>> Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
>>>
>>> How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?
>>>
>>> When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
>>> shopping
>>> cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right?"
>>> Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid
>>> idiot?"
>>>
>>> Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
falling
>>> off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
>>>
>>> In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer
>>> when we complained about the heat?
>>>
>>> How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
>>>
>>> If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your
wife
>>> told you to do it?
>>>
>>> And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky
>>> diving!
>>>
>>> And my FAVORITE.
>>>
>>> The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
>>> suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three
best
>>> friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
