Very interesting thread with lots of information, lots of passion.
I have two stories to tell, and both these kids are teens.
First my nephew. At 14 he was struggling in the gifted HS he was at. This is an extremely bright kid, but he started getting darker and moodier, and violent, and ended trying to kill himself several times. So my sis searched for ways to help him and he was diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive. They tried one type of ADHD med and immediately took him off as it made him MORE violent. They tried a second, and that worked for a year, and then he begged for a higher dose because he could feel it was not working. The medical people they were working with said no, he was at the highest he should be at. They said they could switch him to Adderal, which is the same class of drug the first type he took was in. He was very afraid of that, but they explained that even though it was the same class, they had much better luck with Adderal. So he agreed to give it a trial. The first day, he immediately noticed a difference for the better. Within a month he was up to almost straight A's and even more importantly, by sis was no longer afraid that he would harm himself or them. He now is into bike racing, and while a bit moody(teenage moody) he is doing much better. So for those that say ADHD meds cause suicide, that is very blanket, the proper meds should help a kid.
The second child is my own, and BTW, ADHD is genetic. She is 13 and has struggled with school a long long time. The problem is, she is making passable grades, but it is a major battle to get them. Because she was a sweet child, a happy child, and getting D's and C's, and the occasional F, the school did not seem to want to help, they helped the kids who were way below the line(their funding is limited, I know they struggle). In our school system, 7th grade is very hard, and my daughter who before was treading water, started sinking badly, and with it went the sweet happy child, and as fall progressed, things went very far south. This is a difficult age anyway for a girl, without this. I had long suspected ADHD, but she is not in any way hyper, so thought it must not be. We finally took her to an outside source to have her tested for it. Well, she does have ADHD inattentive, but we also found out she had a learning disability. The two combined are what makes it so hard. She has a gifted IQ and that comes out in amazing art and creative writing, but Math and Science are very difficult.
We subsquently also had her checked over by her doctor as well, who did all the questionaires and agreed with the ADHD inattentive diagnosis. We went to the doctor in hopes the doctor could talk to my daughter about meds and educate her about them, because my daughter refuses to have any meds as well as refusing extra help from the school for her LD. And as the story about my nephew illustrates, the meds can react differently with different people, and without cooperation, we will not succeed in finding the right meds. But she will not cooperate, so we have worked hard with the teachers in making quiet changes, such as making sure she is close to the front, if she is by a particulary noisy distracting student she gets moved. In Math notes are taken for her, and I spend about 2-3 hours a night on Math and Science with her.
It is a rollercoaster living with this type of child. When she puts 150% into her work, she gets passable grades, mostly C's, a couple of B's, usually a couple of D's. Third quarter is usually her best, as it takes 2 quarters to get into the swing of things, and then the 4th quarter is a giant slide. I have already begun talking to her about her plans on making 8th grade more successful than 7th. The principal is hand picking her teachers to make sure she gets teachers that will give her the most success(he has talked with last years teachers to get ideas).
The plus side, she is wildly creative and interesting, and I think one reason she rejects the thought of meds, is she is afraid she will lose this. The doctor has assured her she will not, that meds would just help her focus and tap that smart brain of hers. I did ask the doctor if this was forever, and her answer surprised me. She said 1/3 grow out of this, 1/3 the issues lesson, and 1/3 remain as is.
I think learning coping skills are a must, the physchologist who tested her stressed that to her. That grown-ups with this have secretaries, aides, spouses, friends who help this. And she has done this. Together we devised some daily rituals that help her with organization. She has enlisted the help of some of her best friends at school and that has helped. She does have a very difficult time of asking the teachers for help, preferring to blend into the woodwork when it comes to them. Also, exercise helps, she swims and in the summer plays softball.
A lot of people believe that ADHD is over diagnosed and I do think certain types are, people wanting their active children to just be quieter. My DS was always very active, and I had people tell me he needed Ritalin. He learned to channel his energy and is heading to college this year. What I did find in my research is that the ADHD-inattentive child is very much under-diagnosed, and this is usually girls. Because they don't cause any harm in the classroom, just appear to be dreamy, they get missed. And if they are highly intelligent, they can get passing grades, but you constantly get from the teachers, "she is just not working to her ability". Give me a dollar for everytime I heard that, I would be very rich!
ADHD is very tough to deal with. Lots of people turn their noses up and tell you this is not a "real" issue, just a reason to medicate a child into submission. They will site that in our younger times there was not ADHD like now....well there was...they were in the cloak room getting paddled, the odd child sitting in the corner by themselves failing. They were there, there was just not the knowledge to help them.
