OT - Divorced, Overweight, and Dating

RE: OT - Divorced, Overweight, and Dating (Semi-Update)

Believe me......NOTHING comes before my daughter. I probably didn't mention in any of my posts, but her father and I share custody of her, so I don't have her every night of the week, and we switch off weekends. That is probably one of the reasons I get lonely. When I have my daughter it is a whole different world. I spend ALL my time with her, and it is quality time. What I wouldn't do to have her everyday of the week (for my own selfish reasons), but as I mentioned before, I WANT her father to be a part of her life because he is a good dad and he spends a great deal of quality time with her too, and because this has enabled her to be better adjusted to our separate lives. I hope this all makes sense!! :)
 
Believe it and you will Be it

Hope you don't mind some more thoughts on this...

I was in the exact same boat as you two years ago - well, not *exactly* the same, because I was even heavier. I was lonely and very disheartened by all the men who obviously went for looks first and everything else later.

Two things I did for myself - and it was a LOT of work - was to put in the time needed to change my perceptions.

1) You need to Absolutely Believe that you are a Beautiful woman - interesting, charming, captivating, confident. When you believe it, you project it. I can't emphasize this enough!!!

2) Accept that this is a season in your life, and make your peace with it. My own beliefs were that I had things to learn as a single woman, and when I had learned them I would find the partner who was right for me. Being despondent over being single was just going to make the process take even longer.

After years of a truly horrible relationship (courtship marriage divorce) and then several years of being alone and broke (with a VERY young child) I found the Love of my Life. And just like all the cliches say - I found love when I had stopped looking for it. And by the way, I'm still *gulp* about eighty pounds overweight.

If you'd like to drop me a line, I'd be happy to share some ideas that worked wonders for me during that difficult time. Address is [email protected]
 
You have great advice already, just wanted to add about free ways to meet people.... (you may make a new female friend that has a cute single cool brother/son/cousin, etc etc)
In my area there are so many "groups"... book clubs, movie clubs, walking clubs, reading clubs for kids....
Check out your local Y and maybe you and your daughter could take some classes for a nominal fee...
Volunteer a few hours a week at the library...
Find out if you can volunteer for your local PTA or school...
And as others have said, what you project is as powerful as how you look. Act like the "bomb" even if you don't feel it. Eventually you will feel it. I have an overweight friend(she wears a size 18)who has such a forceful personality and self confidence that she has more dates than my other thinner friends. Her latest is 10 years younger and a total hottie. :) :)
 
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