O/T ? How do you tell someone to take a shower?

K

Kit_

Cathlete
I need some advice; I have two exchange students who haven't become Americanized yet. So showering isn't a big concern to them, this is normal for a lot of European and middle east countries. But their smell is getting bad, today I had a training session with them both and my nose turned into a water facet, and I had tears running down my face from the smell. And I'm use to sweat and odor, I'm around it 8 to 10 hours a day. These two haven't had a shower in 4 or 5 days, at least. With most exchange students I've been able to convince them that showering was part of the workout as well so they'd at least get wet every other day or every two days, so it was easier on my allergies to train them, and generally after a couple weeks of being in the US, they figure out that here we shower every day, and even twice a day. These two haven't gotten the hint, not even with: “Hit the showers; I want to see you work that soap and your muscles in the warm water.”

But if they come back Wednesday without showering, there is no way I can even train them, as it’s cardio and I need to be able to breath without having a tissue box tied to my face. And these two understand English, at least everything else I say, they seem to follow. So I’m totally at a loss, even the coach hasn’t had much luck, and none of the other runners even want to run the track with them. Which I can understand as you better be up wind and be able to run faster then they can, and pray that the start is a quick one.

Any suggestions?

Kit
 
LOL, I'm sorry for laughing, but when I saw the title of this post I thought "Oh no, do I smell??" Not literally, mind you, I shower every single day at least once per day! It's just one of those sniff test things like the Secret commercial. Hah, how paranoid am I??

Anyways, I'm assuming from your post that you are a coach/trainer for high school students? Is there anyway you and the other coach can implement a mandatory shower for ALL runners after practice? If not, somebody will have to bite the bullet and sit them down and tell them they stink. Politely, of course. Perhaps just explain gently that vigorous exercise produces more body odor than normal, and even talk about the spread of germs, fungus, and such by not keeping clean.

I've never understood why people can't tell when they themselves smell. I once had to explain to a coworker that his leather gloves smelled like rotten wet dog because he had sweat so much in them. He had no clue it was that bad, all the while the rest of us were practically gagging. He was so grateful that I told him.

Good luck!
 
Oh, I am laughing right now. I know it is a problem, believe me. I used to teach 8th grade science, and I had some 'stink bombers' in there. Well, other sutdents started complaining and all the teachers were not happy, so they nominated me to do the 'stinky kids talk' in scince class. Afterall, it has to do with physiology/biology/chemistry.....right?!?
I did do a talk about bacteria and when they are in the right environment (hot, damp) they multiply and their by-product is what we can smell. Kids seemed to understand that, that it wasn't personal, it was the bacteria that was making them stink!
Oh, I had so much fun doing that. I had to use humor though, because you don't want to offend anyone or embarass them, so I had to do it tactfully. Anyway, I wrote up a questionaire that everyone had to fill out in class and then we went over the answers together and had a good discussion. It went so well, that I got to do it every year! Lucky me!!!

I'm going to copy/paste the questionaire that I used (they had to circle the answer):

A stinky questionnaire


1)Do you notice that flies swarm around your desk, but not your friends?

Yes, is there a reason for that? No Sometimes


2)How often do you shower?

Twice a day Once a day Every other day

Once a week What’s a shower?

3)When/if you shower, do you use soap?

Always When I have time No What’s soap?

4)When/if you shower, it is recommended that you use the following items: (circle all that apply)

Soap Shampoo Washcloth water

Nothing Lysol

5)After a shower, what products do you apply?

Deodorant Perfume/body splash Lotion

Cologne Nothing

6) How often do you brush your teeth?

Every morning Before bed Every morning and night

When I remember There’s something I can clean my teeth with?!

7) Is it better to use a deodorant or antiperspirant?

Deodorant (to cover up the smell)
Antiperspirant (to prevent sweating)
Both – you need both to have the best protection against smell-causing bacteria!



8)On a day you have gym, do you reapply your deodorant after gym class?

Yes No Only if I broke a sweat

Sometimes I’m allowed to bring deodorant?!?


9)How many times do you wear a shirt before you wash it?

Once Twice Three times Until it starts to stink

Until it starts getting holes in the armpits

10)What items of clothing can only be worn once and then should be washed? (circle all that apply)

Socks Underwear/boxers Jeans Sweater

Coat T-shirt

11) A good way to prevent a bad case of the smellies is… (circle all that apply)

Shower at least every other day Use soap when you shower

Apply deodorant every morning Apply deodorant after gym

Wash clothes after you wear them

Put on a new shirt over the old shirt to cover up the smell

Drench yourself in cologne/perfume until you start seeing double
Brush your teeth at least twice a day
 
Please don't lump all Europeans together. The British use more soap per capita than most nations in the world! We know where the bathroom is!!!

I sympathize with your problem here Kit. I'd be gagging too. I like the idea of the mandatory shower.

Clare
 
I had a friend whose husband didn't like to shower for DAYS upon end. It was really awful as he liked to play sports outdoors in the summer. They invited me to dinner, and I had to leave early because I was so sick from the smell. She told me that she liked the smell on him. YUCKY!! He was from Latin America. I think that some cultures may be less inclined to shower/bathe as much because utilities such as water are harder to come by - expensive or just not as available. I lived in Latin America with a family and was only allowed to shower once a day. Also, the hot water was solar heated - no sun, no hot water.

I would say that someone should give them a "culture" lesson or even take them to a store to see the variety of products available in the US for hygiene. It should be educational but you should put in there the importance that Americans place on good hygiene. YOu (or one of the students) may have to be really forward and direct - they may not get it otherwise. :(
 
I work with people who are American and don't shower.They don't brush their teeth or comb their hair.They smell like bottom of the hamper.Very nasty.It's makes you want to throw up.We have alot of different cultures at my work.Some of them are clean but don't use deodrant.We do complain about it.Sometimes it's taken care of.People don't want to work next with them.You can keep you distance but,boy when smell them it's disgusting.I can smell myself after a workout and when i sweat i don't know how they can't smell themselves.Some of them wear ratty clothes that have stains,ripped holes in place you don't need to see,tight clothing,clothing the reveal lots of celluite.My workplace is definitely not a fashion statment.Anyways,good luck with the situation.
 
Oh no-- sympathy coming your way! There are few things yuckier (is that a word?) in the world than BO! I have a professor who has an aversion to bathing for some reason. He wears a suit and tie every day, but refuses to brush his hair, shave or shower. If you get within ten feet of him, you know he's there!

If you've dropped hints which are being ignored or misunderstood, perhaps you could just tell the whole team: showers are required after practice. That way they wouldn't feel singled out.

Or you could put some Vick's VapoRub under your nose to mask the smell . . . :)

L
 
You just have to tell them. Sorry. If I was around someone that smelled that bad, I would not suffer thru it, I would have to tell them. I worked with a older woman once and I had to tell her she needed to use deodorant. I know it was mean, but I was gagging too, and for this reason, I had to tell her. My nose is very sensitive, I can't put up with that. Even my dogs get a bath once a week, and my parents dog is not allowed in my house when they come to visit until their dog is bathed. My son has had friends come over that take off their shoes and their feet stink. They never end up coming back over again unless they leave their shoes on or my son goes over to their home. Smell is something that I am picky about.

Charlotte~~~
 
Thank you everyone for the suggestions.

Clare, sorry, I know the British in general know where the bathroom is and how to use it. I just didn't want to single out any one country, and have a debate about it, which is another reason why I didn’t say all European countries, as I do know some do take showers on a regular basis.

I should have explained a bit more, these two are not exactly kids, one's 22 and the other 23. I train for a college, and what's even more interesting is these two are rich kids they aren't poor. And from what they tell me they had in their country, I'm sure water was available, since they live about 30 feet from the ocean. They sure can afford really nice expensive clothes that I sure can't. It just has been very odd, as most do get my hints especially when wow, we are really working up the body order today, it'll take you 20 minutes to wash it all off. That hit just made them smile. My mother's boss is from the same country, and he owns a restaurant, and he's came in with smelling bad enough it would knock you down. Luckily his own niece told him he smelled and he went home and took a shower, as it would be even harder to tell your boss they smelled.

I'll talk to these two, and tell them showering is mandatory, if not maybe we'll do some river practice and they can fall in. As I'm pretty much stuck with them, until they either turn pro or quit the track team. I'm still pretty sensitive with BO, though depending on what time of day and how hot, a lot of my clients already come in a bit smelly, I generally can stand far enough away it doesn't affect my allergies that much, but as bad as these two smell, I'd have to be clear across the gym, and maybe out the back door.

Kit
 
LOL! Kit I'm sorry to laugh, I just read this post.

I would say that telling them it's mandatory is the way to go. I mean, you are their instructor and they pretty much have to do what you say when they are there with you. :)

Good luck!
Keep us posted.
 
Maybe if you wore a gas mask next time you have to train them.... :p

Seriously though, I think, as others have said, a direct approach is best. Tell them they smell bad and they must shower, lest you vomit all over them from the stench.
 
LOL! In all honesty, I don't know if there is an appropriate way to tell someone that, especially if it's a cultural thing. But you have my sympathies. :eek:
 
I have a stepson (11yrs old) Anywhy He Smells so bad when he gets here ,unbelieveable .Cheesey looking teeth too . It blows my mind . When he was younger I would put him right in the tub and get him some new cloths on !!! Now hes as tall as me and well I have kinda given up as his Mom ,sister stepdad are exactly the same way . its really his lifestyle ... Well My big boys do the job for me by telling him just how bad he smells ,I dont get to close LOL ... Seems like the more Ive treid through the years the worse it gets ... gotta love THAT MOM of his LOL . He even has adult BO !!!! Gees I'm babbling now gotta stop LOL
 
That's a tough one!

I cannot STAND other people's bodily odors (or mine, at times): bad breath in your face, skanky unwashed hair on some guy sitting in front of you at the movie theater, b.o. wafting off of some unwashed guy in line at the grocery store. UKKK!

Having traveled in France, Spain, etc. and studied foreign languages, I've smelled my share of other people. One was a French boyfriend. BUT the problem wasn't really his body odor (he showered twice a day because he was very active), but the fact that he would wear the same clothes day after day. And they reeked! Once, when he put his arm around me, I just had to tell him that his clothes stunk. After a while, he actually started noticing it himself (I spoiled him for life in Europe!).

Another was an Italian TA in the FL department where I did graduate work. He had his own office, which was half-way down the hallway between my office and the main office. When I walked by, I was met by a miasma of fetid air coming from his office, which reeked, whether he was there or not. That time, I didn't talk to him (didn't really know him), but I borrowed a can of air freshener from the secretaries and sprayed it in his (empty!) office when I walked by one time.

I do, however, think that even the traditionally "stinky" European countries are using more soap and water than previously.

And an American student of mine (university) either did not shower as frequently as he should have, did not use deodorant, wore the same stinky clothes several days in a row (the "sniff test" should be mandatory: that's how I decide whether to wear something more than once!) or all three. I never approached him about it (it was all the time), but wish I had when I had him in a seminar in a small, enclosed room!

As for your two students: sounds to me like they need a direct talking to (by the male coach, probably) setting out ground rules. And remember, maybe they DO shower, but they are putting on smelly clothes, so that should be mentioned as well.

On the other hand, as you suggest in your last paragraph, maybe they can be used as motivation to get the others to run faster! Alright everyone, I'll give you a three-second head start, then I'm sending the smelly guys after you!!
 
LOL- this thread is really cracking me up. I would be direct and blunt. I'd say, "Pally, you stink to high heaven so please take a shower. I don't think I have any nose hair left." :p Then again, I'm a very blunt person but this thread is pretty hilarious. What country are they from BTW?? I had an ex from Armenia and he was quite clean. Showered everyday, etc which I was a bit surprised about as I've heard they're not physically clean people. Would've been nice if his attitude was better.
 
Contact their host families. I assume the kids have lockers to store toiletries, etc. Their families can help them get some items together to have at school so that they can clean up after practice.

Okay, just read further down the list of responses re. their ages. Just tell them up front.
 
Thank you everyone, I'm glad that some found humor in this, and you all helped a lot.

I talk to the track coach today it was actually our general meeting day, that we normally have and it was a bit amusing as we were talking about our two skunkies and this smell suddenly started to come in the room. We both thought someone was playing a joke and tas we started to head out the door, and look around for the cause, our too skunkies, were rounding the corner, about 10 feet from the office to come and see the coach.

And I'm sure if some of you would have been there, you would have probably fell on the floor laughing so hard during our please shower conference, well that is if you had a gas mask on. Luckily I was small enough that I could pushed myself into the corner by the only window, and was really debating if I could some how fit threw a 12 inch hole.

These two are Albanian, which I just found out today. And we both tried to talk to them about their smell. They gave us a dirty look and were very angry with us insulting there manhood. Men are supposed to smell, and it is to be a man to sweat. We had to completely back track our plan to get them to shower, as germs, and bacteria and anything else was going in one ear and out the other. As being able to have germs on the body and not get sick makes you a tough man.

I told them only poor men in the US smell, as they can’t afford soap and water. If you are able to afford soap and water you do not smell like a poor man, and you let everyone know it by showering at least once every day, or anytime you sweat really hard. Their mouths dropped open, and looked like a little hurt puppies, they both swore up and down they weren’t poor, that they have a lot of money. Apparently being accused of being poor is worse then someone telling you, you need to smell like a girl. But still they didn’t seem completely convinced. So the coach offered them both $5 for soap and water to help them out. They refused it, but as they walked out the door they went in the direction of the showers. When they passed the office again about an hour later both of them had wet hair, and the odor didn’t announce them passing by either. I’m keeping my fingers crossed, that they’ll shower before tomorrow’s training with soap and water.

Not exactly how I wanted to do it, but as upset as they were about us insulting their manhood, I was reaching for straws. Luckily as I pointed out that the coach was richer then they were because he didn’t smell, really helped it sink in. So now they have a slightly tweaked idea about American’s but hopefully it solved my problem.

And today I think is the worst ever they had smelled, since they had low cut shirts, you could actually see the nearly black dirt rings around their necks. I had to look twice to figure out what the heck was wrong with their neck, until the light hit it just right and then the realization just made me shiver.

So thank you all for the advice, hopefully problem is solved.

Kit
 
I hope your talk works for good. I'm sure talking to them must have been a hard job to do.

In order to get the smell totally off them they need to do laundry and wash their bed sheets rountinely.

Namita
 
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