Negative Comments

K

KarenO

New Member
I am new to this board. I really enjoy reading the posts, recipes and support everyone has to offer. I am disturbed, however at some of the comments I read that people make about their body and weight.

Not everyone was made to be a size 6 or below. I used to think this way about myself--that it was disgusting to be a size 12-14. I constantly worried about my weight and felt bad when it crept up at all. I have exercised for all of my adult life, eat healthy (For the most part) but my weight still ranges from 170-180. I work very hard to keep it that way, because I know that it is not good to go higher.

I have learned in the past 6 years, however, (thanks to the martial arts) that I am strong and healthy. I can go to any aerobics class, and out aerobicise the best of them. It is funny to see the skinney girls come in front of me in karate. They have no idea what is coming their way!

When I first started training, I took advantage of all the extra activity and got my weight below 160. I got very weak. It was pathetic. I couldn't even make it through a class without having to stop because my muscles were so drained.

I think that everyone needs to find a comfortable weight range for themselves. Don't worry about fitting into a certain size or number on the scale. If you exercise, keep your heart, lungs and muscles strong, and eat sensibly, be happy with what you have!

Sorry to be on my soap box for so long! It just bothers me when I hear people talk bad about their bodies.

Karen
 
Karen,

Welcome to the Cathe Forums! As Cathe will no doubt tell you, your opinions are always welcome here, so no apologies necessary for the soap box.

I think you'll find after you stick with us for a while that this is (in Cathe's words) a very educated crowd, and, overwhelmingly, a crowd very much in agreement with your statements "Don't worry about fitting into a certain size or number on the scale. If you exercise, keep your heart, lungs and muscles strong, and eat sensibly, be happy with what you have!" I'd say that's a pretty accurate restatement of exactly what Cathe advocates, and how our group strives to live. We are a group of varied age, varied lifestyles and varied fitness (although most of us are not beginner exercisers), but our common bond (besides Cathe's videos, of course!) is that we are all devoted to improving the "wellness" of our lives in many ways. And we support each other's efforts.

From time to time you will see posters on these Forums who don't have happy body images, or are feeling discouraged or lack confidence, etc., for some other reason. Since I've been a member of these Forums almost since the day they went "online," I can tell you that when that kind of post appears, the responses are always kind, encouraging, supportive, and most importantly say things that promote good physical and emotional health and a positive body image.

I'm glad to hear that you have learned to feel good about yourself and recognized that getting to some artificial "number" on the scale was not good for you. You sound like you're doing all the right things. And you didn't mention how tall you are, or what your bone structure is like, etc., but, heck, it's absolutely possible that your weight is perfect for you. As you say, not everyone's skinny, or small-framed, or slim-hipped, or a size 6.

If you're new to Cathe's tapes, you might find that using a mix of her cardio and strength would "shock your metabolism" and that you'll achieve even better levels of fitness, perhaps even with additional weight loss.

Keep up the good work and welcome to the Educated Crowd!! :D


Kathy S.
 
Hi there. Welcome to the Cathe forum! I would just like to add a few things. It is very important to love your body not matter what size it is. I agree with that. But, I think you will find that most of the people on this forum have fitness as a hobby so to speak. They spend time figuring out new rotations, changing up weight training, researching new techqniques. Sometimes there is frustration when results achieved don't equal results desired. This doesn't always mean that these people have low body image, they are just trying to improve. When people have hobbies, they usually spend hours trying to perfect their skills. I think this works in much the same way. None of us can have a perfect body, nobody will stitch a perfect quilt, nobody will play a perfect ball game, nobody will cook a perfect cake. But, the joy is in the pursuit. We love seeing each other succeed at something we've set our mind to. We support each other when we fail at our goals. Some people here do have bad images of themselves and their body. Usually, they get great advice and support. Hopefully, it changes their image of themselves when they see so many others struggling and many succeeding. It is so great that you have found a good weight for your size, a healthy diet, a fun exercise program to do, and total acceptance of your body. I wish we all could say that! Keep up the good work!
 
I agree with RBurke 100%! Before I discovered this forum and Cathe's tapes, I worked out because I felt I "had" to, but my heart wasn't really in it. Cathe's tapes are so challenging and fun, and I feel a great sense of pride when I finish a rotation. Working out has truly become my #1 hobby. My husband and his sister are very athletic...they are very good at sports. I never have been good at sports. But I can run circles around them when it comes to doing Cathe's workouts. It's been very good for my self-esteem. And toning up and losing weight has become secondary in importance to the mental "high" I get by doing these workouts. The weight loss and toning that naturally follows from clean eating and exercise is an added benefit.

If you keep reading these posts, you'll discover a group of wonderfully supportive people who are right there to pat you on the back for a job well done, or to help pick up your spirits when you've had a bad day. I rarely post, but I do get so much out of reading what others have to say.
 
Kathy- I was a tad offended when I read the negative comments about the posts on here, and I think your response was intelligent, warm and very informative, and I thank you for that. You can speak for me anytime!

KarenO- Being one of the people who has posted my own story several times and having mentioned my former size (12-14) and my current size(6), I felt like she was talking about me. I know other people on here have posted similar stories, and I think she's missing the main point in most of these posts, especially mine. I have said over and over that having had a Candida imbalance had my body in total turmoil. I wasn't healthy, I wasn't strong and I wasn't fit. THAT was my focus in treating a yeast imbalance and when I started to feel stronger and more energetic, I got hooked on Cathe's workouts too. And as a side effect, I found myself slimming down to what had seemed a pipe dream for 10 years. I tell people constantly to throw away their scales because it's not an accurate measure of the ratio of bodyfat to lean muscle mass. For people that like to have some kind of physical way to track their progress, I have suggested just going by how your own clothes fit and feel, but by no means does that mean I think everyone should be a size 6. Hell, Sharon Stone is a size 8 because she's tall and not stick thin, but she looks incredible. And I had a friend who's also tall and has a broader bone structure and she's about a 10-12 but she has a droolworthy bod. Very fit, very healthy and she looks and feels great.

If any of my posts, or anyone else's on here came across as enforcing a negative cultural stereotype that a single digit dress size is the ultimate determination of fitness, I apologize on my behalf and theirs. I have been posting here for a while now and I, too, find this crowd to be extremely well-educated, supportive and are generally in search of a feeling of total well being and health, not a Hollywood image of what the feminine body ideal is. I think everyone on here welcomes newcomers with open arms and really does a terrific job of helping each other out. It's a really great group of people to get to know and I for one am proud to post on here.

So when you talk about negative advice or fixating too much on weight and size, you're preaching to the choir on here. I think I can speak for a lot of the people on the boards when I say it's about the journey, not the destination.

Welcome to the family, and don't worry, most or all of us are in total agreement with you about what constitutes success and a truly healthy body. It's all about how you feel from day to day.

:)
 
Lex....your posts are always well written and informative. I look forward to reading what you have to say, and you never come across as being obsessed with a size. Reading posts from you motivates me and makes me feel less isolated when I am at home working out. So please please please don't ever edit yourself or hold back on being as open as you've been. I really appreciate that you take time out of your day to post. I am certain that your words have helped many of us who usually lurk in the background rather than post. We just don't come out and say thank you like we should.

So...thank you! Please don't stop posting.

Veronica
 
Oh man, I must have PMS, I just about busted out crying when I read your kind words! That was just so incredibly warm and caring of you to share that with me, and I want you to know how much I appreciate it.

I am so glad I found not only Cathe's workouts, which have completely jumpstarted my own personal fitness level, but this forum for communicating. I've learned a lot from everyone on here, and the questions people ask are always really good ones that I'll need to know myself if I want to have a truly productive career in health. So thank you to everyone on here who selflessly share their own stories, experiences and knowledge. I learn something almsot every day here. And not only is this an educated crowd, it's a really supportive and wonderful crowd.

And thank you again, Veronica. That was just the sweetest thing and you totally made my day, my week and probably even my month!

Take care. Remember to enjoy the journey. :)
 
Hey Lex!

You go girl -- I second everything Veronica said. Your posts are wonderful (you've got me researching candida like a madwoman :D) and you have been a wonderful addition to the Cathe family. Don't edit one syllable, girlfriend!

Kathy S.
 
Hey Lex!

You go girl -- I second everything Veronica said. Your posts are wonderful (you've got me researching candida like a madwoman :D) and you have been a wonderful addition to the Cathe family. Don't edit one syllable, girlfriend!

Kathy S.
 
in defense of Karen O

I too have been bothered by some posts, the ones that typically go something like this:

Hi everybody, I work out for two hours six days a week and I eat about 800 calories worth of lettuce a day and I STILL have cellulite on my thighs! I just can't lose my last 3.7 pounds! I am so frustrated by my lack of results. Does anyone have any ideas? Am I eating too much? Am I not exercising enough? Maybe I need to add in another interval workout, I only do 3 a week. . . Any help would be appreciated!

Obviously that is an exaggerated to make the point! I think what bothers me about those posts is the lack of JOY (working out isn't about fun and fitness, it's about perfection) and the futility of trying to be perfect. I bet most of the people who write those posts are just beautiful. Not cookie-cutter perfect, but beautiful, and they probably have sweet hearts and good lives as well!! They should be celebrating the gifts they've been given and proud of the goals they've achieved, but there is so often a hang-up on those last few pounds, or that dimple or two on a thigh, or that measurement that lacks 1/2" of being what is desired.

NOW, I have to say, that any of us INCLUDING ME can have a day like that (esp when we're PMSing!) even though that is NOT our normal mindset. And I truly hope that most of the people who post like that are simply having a bad day, rather than being truly dysfunctional in their attitude toward fitness and their bodies.

This is a wonderful forum and I mean no disrespect to anyone, but I couldn't let Karen's post stand alone as though she were the only one who was ever bothered by this stuff. Healthy is about our minds and hearts as well as our bodies.
 
Thank you, Susan

I couldn't have said it better myself. Some of the posts that I read that are like your exagerated one tend to make me feel sad for them. One hopes that they will learn to go a little easier on themselves.
[font color=green]BETSY[/font]
 
RE: Thank you, Susan

Wow....I didn't mean to cause such a controversy! I really was speaking in general terms--not aimed at anyone in particular! I am very sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. That was not my intention.

I teach grade 3. I already hear my students talk about people's weights (their own and teasing others). I just get upset that our media is telling women and girls that thin is better. It has taken me years to get over that concept of myself.


Again...I am very sorry if I offended anybody.

Karen
 
RE: Thank you, Susan

Wow, 3rd graders talking about body image, there's a horrifying thought. I don't blame you for feeling so strongly about that at all, it's that kind of thinking that had me on the bulimia rollercoaster on and off for 10 years. But I know I didn't start that kind of nuerotic compulsion that young. I hope that when I have kids I can just teach them to enjoy being active for the sake of the sport or the activity itself, not for the calories burned or pounds lost. And I hope they never feel like food and nutrition is a burden or that eating has to be joyless to be healthy.

Speaking for myself, you're still aces around here, KarenO, so don't fret!
 
RE: Thank you, Susan

KarenO, I think this is an interesting and thought-provoking thread you started, and you got a lot of great responses!

I agree that it's sad indeed that third graders are starting to worry about their body image (probably has to do with the hoochie-mama clothes they seem to like to market to 6 year olds :-mad ) and SusanP's exaggerated post does illustrate the kind of self-destructive thinking this can lead to.

I think that when people post their weights and sizes, it's usually often in the context of how far they've come and what they've achieved, and things like size and poundage are merely the standard measures that we are used to relating to. They're measurable quantities, so they get quoted often - it's harder to quantify things like energy, vitality, strength, and self-esteem although I would guess most posters here value those things far above size or weight.

I recently was asked to be interviewed for a success story at an online weight program, and during my interview I really hesitated to talk about my size (they already knew my weight loss). I realized, though, that it was a measurement that people wanted to relate to, and for the purposes of the program, something that they could look at as achievable for themselves. However I really tried to emphasize those other aspects that can't be expressed as a number, the feeling of strength and well being that comes with a healthy lifestyle.

My point is that those numbers are still a way to express progress that other people can understand. I know a lot of people start exercising and changing their eating habits because they want to lose dress sizes or pounds - but their main achievement is continuing to exercise and eat right because it MAKES THEM FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES, regardless of size or weight.

Well that was a ramble....just trying to say that I see several sides to the issue here.
:)

Sophie
 
An extremely well put ramble

Hi Sophie,
Just wanted to mention you made a great point. Thanks for bringing everything together.
Dawn W
 
Hi,
As someone who has issues my body, I am kind of upset that people feel I shouldn't talk about it. With today's society judging every pound on your frame and whether you can wear a size 4 or not is very hard for me to deal with.
I have been a size 0 and I have been a size 12 and I tell you even at my smallest, I felt gross. It is unfortunate and I know I have to deal with this and I am trying. I am now a size 8 and yes I feel terrible. I am not saying anyone else who wears 8-12 are huge, not at all. I also have friends who are 10-12 and absolutely look fantastic. But for me I always am very hard on myself. It is wrong and I have to do everything in my power to except who I am. But if I can't come here and talk about my feelings and to listen to others struggles and accomplishments, where can I go? Everytime you turn on the tv you see everyone is very thin, and I do compare myself. Maybe I come to this forum for help and encouraging words. I cannot help the way I feel, but I am determined to find that healthy body image. That is why I come here. So many people have posted their struggles and success's, and it gives me hope and encouragement. It would not be fair to hear the plus side of everything, this is not reality. I know that I am not the only who struggles with this and I certainly should be allowed to express my concerns.
I am not someone who wants to get attention from people or to have them feel sorry for me. I am just some girl who is still very insecure about herself. I am terribly sorry if this post seems rude, I am not meaning it to be. I guess I am saying is everyone's feelings should be considered whether they are small or large. It is hard to fully understand someone's situation unless you are standing in their shoes. I also admit, that this is not just a weight issue, but many factors are involved. This should also be considered.

Christine
 
RE: Lex

I also wanted to say that you wrote everything beautifully and I find you story encouraging. Thanks so much for sharing.
Christine
 
Very well said, Christine, and I hope that little by little you will find that sense of self-acceptance everyone deserves to have. I have certainly found that through exercise myself, but even I struggle with those bad days, or "fat days." Not that I'm fatter on some days, just that I feel fatter. I try to ignore it now and know that it's in my head.

But did you guys hear about how Calista Flockhart collasped on the set and they took her to the hospital? They said it was from exhaustion and dehydration. She's the supposedly perfect size "0" that Hollywood is pushing, but does that sound like a happy, healthy life? If she's not either anorexic or bulimic, I'll eat my hat. I'll take my own size 6 body, with muscles and good energy, over her size "0" body that can't make it through the day without IV hydration anyday. Bear things like that in mind when the negative comparisons start to creep into your head.

And thank you, Christine, for your kind words to me. You guys can't know what it means to me to have this place to come to, and how touched I am by just the simplest little comments like that. I guess I'm just a sappy broad! ;)

Take care!
 
[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Dec-16-00 AT 07:02PM (Est)[/font][p]I don't think anyone is saying that you can't bring your body image struggles to the board. I think most of us struggle with body image at times and appreciate being able to come here and get a dose of encouragement. What surprises me is when somebody posts something like my caricatured post above, (2 hours a day of working out on 800 cal of lettuce) and nobody finds that to be a little out of whack. I think that saying "I feel so fat today, I am really having a struggle with my appearance, can you help me out with some encouragement?" is far, far different from someone who thinking they aren't fit enough even with 12 workout hours per week. Someone who is fit enough to work out like that and still isn't satisfied isn't going to get where they need to be by tweaking their routine.

But hey, if you don't see the difference, you don't see it, that's OK. :) We all have different perspectives and yours or anybody's is as valid as mine.
 
Christine, if it helps you to post here, by all means do. There are many supportive people here to help you.

I started the positive comments thread not as a slam to this thread, but just because it is also nice to here the good side of things. I hope this is not what has upset you.

I have always struggled with weight, but have found that I cannot spend all my time battling the bad feelings, it is just too tiring. As I have gotten older, I have adopted the attitude that I may be a little bigger than society's "ideal", but that is tough. I am in better shape than many people who are thin, and I appreciate my body for the things it can do. My thin husband would not have been able to shovel the driveway twice this week without being sore, I did just that! He admits I am one tough cookie and he is proud of me.

Hopefully you will be able to get to a point where you don't feel
people are judging you( I know some people will. Do we need them, if they are not going to like who we are, not how we look?).

Anyway I hope I haven't upset you. Keep working on the thoughts that you are special just the way you are, and hopefully things will get better for you.

Dorothy
 
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