Need to vent- ignorant people

A

amynicole

Cathlete
I need to vent here. I am SO frustrated at ignorant people that think that unless you are a size 2 there is no way you could workout or be in shape.

I keep my step hidden behind my couch when not in use and my DVDs and videos in an out of sight cabinet in my enternatinment center so I don't have to justify them to people.

I DO have visible in the room of my kitchen a gym quality stair master and treadmill. The room has no door so if you are in my kitchen there is no way you would not see them.

I am currently 6 months pregnant and was about 50 lbs overweight when I got pregnant. I have gained 10 lbs so far and feeling VERY proud of myself for only gaining 10 lbs at 25 weeks along. In fact I credit my workouts and the visible equipment in my back room as well as my hidded DVDs for this healthy gain so far. My Dr. is VERY pleased and told me at the beginning I should aim for 15-25 since I was overweight to start.

OK, not for the venting part.

2 times in the past week I have heard ignorant stupid comments from people invited to my home.

Last week the wife of my husbands business partner was in my kitchen, looked towards the stairmaster and treadmill and said "Oh its so nice your husband works out". She just ASSUMED there was no way I could workout because I'm overweight. I said "Oh we both workout" and she laughed and said, "Sure honey you do" in a very condesending way. I was flabergasted at how condescending she was.

Then this morning my daughter had a play date over. At age 4, the mothers usually stay also. She and I were in my kitchen and she looks towards the stairmaster and treadmill and said "Doesn't it make you feel guilty to look at your husbands excercise equipment knowing you don't use it". I said, "No I don't feel guilty because its MINE and I DO use it" she then had the NERVE to say "Oh I just assumed because you are overweight and pregnant you did not use it".

It upsets me that they thought that this equipment must be my DH's because he is thin and I'm not. In fact I sometimes BEG him to workout for his health.

Also, why is it that people think that if you are overweight then you can't possibly work out.

What these people don't know is that I lost almost 50 lbs before getting pregnant and have gained minimal weight BECAUSE I WORKOUT and I enjoy it.

I told my husband, I guess I look SO fat and SO out of shape people assume I must just sit around all day and eat fast food and chocolate.

OK, thanks for letting me vent.

Marci
 
Marci, you deserve better than that...but you're right. People can be very ignorant (remember what Cathe said about giving people the benefit of the doubt - assume they don't know any better), but what hurts to read is how rude these women were. Please ignore them and keep working out (with modifications for you and your new little one! of course). And enjoy this wonderful time of your life and your new baby! Congratulations on both the weight loss and continued good progress and the baby!!!:)
 
WOW, you are right. They are ignorant. But that's putting it nicely. I'd say you are not only healthy and active, but you have a helluva lot of MANNERS to not tell these people where they can go! }(
Kathy W.
 
Yes, people can be very ignorant. But if you look at it this way, MOST overweight people DO NOT work out. Most size 0-2 people do not work out either. People assume because you're overweight and you have equipment, it's not yours. It's your child, husband, wife, etc....mainly because overweight people do not work out. It's almost rare to see overweight people in a gym. In a way, you kind of can't blame them for not thinking you work out. A lot of people assume very thin people work out. Not true. If I met some overweight person who is married to a slim person, I'd assume the machines would be used by a slim person. That's the first assumption people get. It's kind of not their fault. I would not stress over it. You're pregnant, and so am I. I put on over 90 pounds with my first. I went nuts over my weight gain. Right now, just think about how beautiful your baby is going to be and how much fun you'll have with your first child and the second child together. After the baby is born, focus on losing weight and show it off! ;o)
 
Just ignore them. Repeat to yourself what you have told us, and remember that you are where you are, because you workout and enjoy it. You will have a happier pregnancy and a happier post-partum period because you are health-conscious. "Skinniness" is no indication of fitness level, and I'll bet they'd never get through what you do during a workout. Just try to remember that :)

Congrats on your healthy pregnancy!!!

Sara
 
Wow, I can't believe the nerve of those women, amazing! You have a lot of control to not just go off on them for being so rude, I'm very impressed by you. I hope that at 25 weeks I will only have put on 10 pounds. Try to ignore them, though I would have a very hard time at that, but do try. You know what you do and how far you have come. Congratulations on the first 50 lbs lost, that is an accomplishment in itself! Take care and keep up the great work!
 
((((((Marci)))))) Big cyberhugs for you!!!!! I am so proud of your self control at not punching those twits in the head! Because BOY, did they deserve it!!

I have a plethora of exercise equipment and workout tapes in my home, too, and they're ALL MINE!! :7 :7 :7 Whether I happen to be too heavy or just right, I work out nearly daily. You just keep at it. If you do any kickboxing, just think of those twits' heads when you punch and kick. }(

Hollie
 
{{{{{HUGS}}}}} That's incredibly rude of them and I am shocked. No one's ever been rude to me but I did experience some incredulous looks while at my last job. Our company began offering discount memberships at a nearby gym and almost everyone in my team - and the department would go there before, during (at lunchtime) and after work... except me because I was far too busy to take more than a quick trip to Starbucks for some coffee and a sandwich or salad from the shop across the street (I worked more than 14 hours a day for no extra almost every day at the point) and also have a back injury which assisted in preventing me from working out. Well... from the first day they all started, talk in the office was about their assessments, what workouts and classes they were going to do and how they felt they did. Knowing something about it and grateful for the change in conversation I joined in and got some absolutely incredulous looks from three of my colleagues: how could someone who is over weight known anything about working out?

Ho hum. It took a little bit of time but eventually they realised that I did know what I was talking about and even started asking my advice. That was really nice :) I really did feel hurt because I was already feeling quite upset about losing my figure and to be suddenly treated as a dimwit because of my size and shape was pretty shocking. My new job is quite different. Everyone is super-fit. They all play team sports, climb mountains, go on marathon jungle treks, adventure holidays, visit the gym at least once a day and compete in biking and running events. I felt a bit intimidated to be honest and very overweight in comparison. I've lost quite a bit this year and a few people have been asking me what I've been doing :) YAY! I'm starting to get taken seriously again (can you believe it? What does weight have to do with professionalism and ability??) though I know it won't last long because as a blonde, I know it will wear off once I get to my target weight and I'll have to start proving myself again.

That said, you know what my favourite thing about ignorant people is? Proving them wrong and seeing them happily surprised :) I mean that in the best possible way :) We're all ignorant about something so as long as no one is being rude, what's the point in feeling exasperated?
ATB,
- Lisa :)
 
Marci,

Those people have issues!!! I can't believe how rude they were and GOOD FOR YOU for speaking up! Please don't let these people ruin how proud you should feel for keeping your weight down. As far as giving them the benefit of the doubt, if they had just assumed the equipment belonged to your husband would be one thing, but the added remarks were over the top. I would ignore what they said, and don't try to hide your equipment!! You shouldn't feel any shame at all. You have been having babies, and taking care of babies, and some people give up exercise altogether but you keep trying. GOOD FOR YOU!! After this baby is born, you'll be back in shape even faster this time!
GO MARCI GO!!

Jackie
 
I might be able to let the first comments pass (about "your husband's exercise equipment" because many people make false assumptions). But to have them react the way they did after your assurances that you use the equipment....totally RUDE!

(When I rented a hydraulic staple gun--a huge machine that weighed about 70 pounds--from a local store, the worker's first reaction was to inform me how my husband should use it. I told him that I was the one who was going to use it (didn't feel he needed to know there was no "husband"), and he quickly apologized...as the ignorant twits you spoke to should have!
 
Not only ignorant and crass - but sexist too. A pregnant woman who works out? Heavens!

Marci, just understand this: "Ars magistri minuitir discipuli stultitia." (I think.)

"The skill of the master is lost in the pupil's lack of it."

You just keep on keepin' on, don't let the b*st*ards - or the b*tches - getcha, and keep coming back here with like-minded people who, like you, know what they're talking about.

A-jock
 
>
>
mainly because overweight people do not work out. It's almost rare to see overweight people in
>a gym.



Your gym is a lot different from mine, because I see all sizes in my gym. There are lots of overwieght people where I go.:7
 
I guess, I am a chicken.

I do not tell anyone but immediate family members that I work out, what my routine is etc.

That way I don't get comments like "If you work out every day, why don't you look like the women in the magazines?"

I usually don't comment on fitness related issues at work.

I had a good doctor during my pregnancies, too. He strongly encouraged exercise during pregnancy. He had the attitude "You are pregnant - not sick!"
 
Marci,
I am so sorry that these rude comments were made to you. I know exactly how you feel since I have experienced some similar remarks. My sister-in-law has made similar comments to me.

Ignore these people, they are simply jealous and don't have the commitment that you have.

As far as what someone mentioned about it's normal to assume an overweight person doesn't work out - well that's bull####. I know more people that exercise that need to lose a few pounds than I know skinny people who exercise.

Take care and keep up the fantastic work girlfriend!
Lisa
 
Marci,
I am glad that you have received so much encouragement from this board. I am in much the same position as you. I started off this pregnancy about 30 lbs overweight due to complications with the baby during and after pregnancy #4. Because of diet and excercise, I have managed to gain a lot less weight than I normally do, but Waaay more that 10 lbs. That is great! You should be really pleased with yourself. Keep it up. You will be so happy you did post partum.

I look forward to the support of all these nice people when I get down to the business of losing the weight after the baby comes. I am so happy that I discovered Cathe's workouts--challenging, motivating, fun and so much variety. I am already planning post partum rotations:7.

Hang in there, you are doing great.

Maggie
due in 2 weeks, and hopefully not later:p
 
Hey, get this. When I purchased my new set of 25 lb. dumbbells (for me, not my husband), the clerk felt it necessary to carry them out of the store and stow them safely in my back seat for me. I let him. Figured he needed it more than I did. :)

Oh well, you'll get the last laugh. Just think how healthy that baby will be.

Shari
 
Marci, JUST WHO WERE THESE PEOPLE? I've thrown weights at people for less than that (and I can chuck a pretty good sized weight)!! I'd have dressed her up like a dog bone and thrown her to our Mastiffs, or maybe even made her do LL on the spot.

Sorry....I can't quite comprehend this person.

You are doing fantastic Marci and you know we are at exactly the same point and I have NOT only gained 10 pounds. You can come here and vent any time and keep up the great work, it WILL pay off. I'm sooooo proud of you for all your hard work!!!!

(and remember to leave a dumbbell of two out in case she ever returns - for chucking purposes)

Briee
 
My apologies for wording this the way I did. I should not have got out of bed today with the attitude I have today! I have always exercised far more than all my friends and I probably eat far healthier too yet I have always been the chubby one. So this kind of thing really hits a nerve for me especially since I've had so many similar comments. I guess it is normal for people to "assume" that overweight people don't exercise. Still it's not really fair. But then nobody promised us life would be huh?
Lisa
 
I sympathize with you. I'm really small and have dumbells going up to 30 lbs. I get annoyed to because people assume that the weights, barbells, smith machine, etc. are my dh's. I assure people, sometimes not so nicely that the equipment is all mine.

I had one person ask me, but what could you possibly do with 30 lb dumbells?

I admire you for being able to keep your cool, I need to learn to let comments roll off my back.
 
Wow Juli.....30 lb dumbells I'm impressed....what are you doing with 30 lb dumbells, just my nosiness (sorry). Now Marci...these would be the ones to chuck at her!!!!

And Juli....as for that one person asking what you could possibly do with 30 lb dumbells..........this comment is WIDE open (I won't even touch it }( }( }( ).

Briee (becoming much too nasty the bigger I get - I will return to my sweet self soon after - ha ha)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top