Need to decide if I will not get pregnant again

Tammyspq

Cathlete
Hello girls. My name is Jeni and I am a certified Healthy Moms instructor and personal trainer. I have not posted in some time but thought this the perfect place to get some much needed advice. I have 2 beautiful little girls (got number 2 after 2 miscarriages) and both girls were born via c-section (so much for my home birth plan!). Anyway, during my first pregnancy I developed diastasis recti, the separtation of the rectus abdominus muscle. The separation was there but not too bad, about 1-3 fingers horizontally and about 1-2 inches vertically. During pregnancy number 2 and post-partum I discovered that my diastation had increased to 3 fingers horizontal and 10 (count'em "10") vertically. The end result is not only continuing to look about 5-6 months pregant at times, but SEVERE low-back pain due to my SI (sacroiliac joint) going out, weak abs from the separation and occasional loss of feeling in my hips. In time, it could lead to early incontinence and absence of much physical activity (I'm currently not allowed to run, step, do dead lifts, lunges, riding an upright bike - recumbent only, no twisting obliques, no crunches). For a fitness instructor and marathon runner (also teach BodyPUMP, Body Step, Body Combat and a variety of others)this is huge bummer and frustration for me. I have been in fitness since I was 17. All my friends worked at the Gap or McDonalds in high school, I got a job at a health club and have been in the industry since!

I am in physical therapy and working with an excellent Dr. but have been told that all that is to reduce my pain until I have the diastasis correcedt - through surgery - NOT COVERED BY INSURANCE. The bottom line is that even if the surgery was covered by insurance, it really is imperative that I make sure that I do not get pregnant again - unless I want a second surgery ($8k...). I am so torn because my husband and I have decided that once I have surgery that he will have a vasectomy and I may also have an IUD put in.

I feel "done" in a sense but feel like I'm only 36 so... I'm just getting the hang of 2 children, so the 3 year age difference between then works great for my personality and my husband and yet I love being pregnant. However, if we decided that we did want one more, we would do it now so that I can have the surgery and start living without pain and resume the healthy, physically active lifestyle that we are used to and enjoy.

This is just such a huge decision for us. I work about 15-20 hours a week and this has affected my income because I am not allowed to teach most classes, except my prenatal! I guess I'm just wondering who out there has had to make a decision, even somewhat out of their hands, about additional pregancies. Lastly, I am adopted and we are both social workers who have always thought we may adopt or be foster parents.

Any insight or whatever is greatly appreciated!

jeni - momma to Olivia - 4, Anasofis - 14ms.
 
Hi Jeni, I thought I'd add my two pence worth seeing as you hadn't had a reply yet..
At the moment, it sounds as if you are really suffering with this condision and all it's impact upon your lifestyle, your job and probably every other aspect of the day to day running of your life. I suffer with lower back pain too, I have the separation in my abs (not as bad though) so I can relate. Personally, if it was so bad, I would have the surgery.

It sounds as though you are not sure about whether or not you are 'done' in the baby department. Until you are sure, firstly, don't have any more! Hold off on the vasectomy but get an IUD. Your husband's surgery may be reversible but it's not as certain (or as intrusive) as having an IUD fitted and then removed. Have the surgery and if you decide you want another baby, well, ok, that's an extra 8K you will have to spend again - start saving a bit extra now and if it never comes to it, you have a nice little nest egg to blow on something else.

What I wouldn't do is rush into having another baby because of what is ultimately a financial problem (i.e the possibility of spending on the surgery twice). I'm saying this on the assumption that the Doctor basically said the only problem with having a pregnancy after surgery is that you would need surgery again to correct it, rather than any other medical problem/issue.

Hope this helps. Good luck in your decision.
 

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