Need Encouragement, Breastfeeding

J

jennifersmom

Cathlete
Hi Ladies,

I thought I could use some advice. My second child is due in
August. My daughter is 16 months old. When pregnant with Jennifer
I was intent on nursing. I thought for sure I would for the
first 6 months and if I could do one year, great. Well I felt
like a failure when I stopped nursing after 2 weeks. Jennifer
was jaundice, nothing uncommon but she remained jaundice for
a tad bit longer than expected. She was in the hospital being treated
with lights when the doctor ordered I give her formula which she
took to like a champ. Jennifer never quite took to nursing after
that. For some reason she wouldn't nurse from my right breast ever.
I was so scared she was not getting enough that I went to formula.
I missed the experience and do believe breast milk is the best.
I was not encouraged by my family. It made them "uncomfortable"
alhough I never nursed in front of them. My sisters who did not
nurse told me not to bother, life would be easier if I bottle fed.
My husband was supportive but liked the fact he could feed the baby.
I really want to nurse my second child and need some help to
get the mind set out of my head making others uncomfortable.
It should be the least of my worries I know. My cousin nurses
her 16 month old and my Mom/Grandmother/Sisters think its wrong
she is still nursing. I on the other hand am envious and think
its wonderful. Any sugestions as how I can be successful this time
around?

Thank you!
 
My baby is 5 months old, she's my first child, and purely breastfed. I never considered giving up, though it took my milk 5 days to come in (had to have a c-section) and she lost a LOT of weight in the meantime. I felt SO bad for her. I had other little problems along the way.

The best advice I can give you is to find a lactation consultant you trust. I had a doula who was also a LC, gave me great advice. The hospital where I delivered also has LCs. There are also some breastfeeding stores here that have them. You can also see if there's a local La Leche League, though I hear they can be a little too...militant? sometimes.

That support can really make all the difference. It's tough that your family doesn't support you, but hopefully your DH will step up and help.

I have no experience with formula, but I'm sure it may be easier in some ways, just as breastfeeding might be easier in others. Breastfeeding really is a big commitment--of your time, body, energy, etc. Don't feel bad if it somehow doesn't work out, but I truly believe that having someone to ask questions of can really help.
 
i second all of the above. by all means, do what works, but i truly wanted to breast feed my first and knew i'd get no encouragement from family. dh would be clueless too. i found a wonderful group of lactation consultants and asked tons of questions before and after delivery. ds is now almost 11 mons old, and i am proud he is exclusively breast fed. get some help from local experts and i think things will work out for you. let the hospital know when you deliver what you hope for. if baby is jaundiced, perhaps you can pump and supplemnt with that if need be? good luck.
 
I agree with everyone, do what works best for you. But I do recommend nursing for at leat 1 month before giving it up. A friend gave me this advice and it was true. The first month of nursing stinks, it is long and painful . As you and the baby get used to it, it gets easier. I nursed my oldest til 9 months, began giving her formuka at 6 months. With my second, I did a combo of nusing and formula and just felt by 6 months that formula worked best in my busy lifestyle. I did pump for a while, but after my 3 year old spilled the milk a few times and kept asking qestions like is the milk vanilla or chocolate , I gave up.
 
Breastfeeding can be difficult and it is definitely harder when you don't have support. La Leche League is great - even if you don't agree with all of their parenting ideas. Also, a lot of hospitals offer breastfeeding support groups that meet regularly. Maybe you can even find a breastfeeding support forum online at a parents board like babycenter.com or something similar.

I nursed my oldest child for 9 months (he weaned himself), my twins for 18 months and my youngest for 22 months. My children had allergies and my pediatrician/allergist recommended that I nurse them for a long time. I will say that, for me, breastfeeding got easier each time. I didn't have any support from family except for my husband and it took a lot of determination to keep going sometimes. Especially with my twins - even the hospital staff discouraged my breastfeeding them. They were born a month early and stayed in the hospital for 12 days and the staff really wanted them on formula.

If you decide to breastfeed and it works for you, that's great. If not, there's no reason to feel guilty! Motherhood is full of guilt even when we are trying our best.

Good luck!

Erica
 
I also did not get a lot of encouragement from my family when I decided to breast feed my daughter. My husband was very supportive, but no one else. So I just decided to do it my way, and forget about what everyone else said. If they happened to be visiting (all of my relatives live out of state), I would just excuse myself and my daughter to go to another room to feed her. It worked out just fine.

I was also lucky, because the hospital where I delivered strongly believes in breast feeding instead of formula. I had a lactation consultant, but did not really need one. I read about breast feeding before my daughter was born, and it was really no trouble at all. I produced milk right away and she ate like a champ. Within minutes after she was born I started to try to feed her. She and I were really able to figure it out without any problems. If you decide to try it, don't stress about it. Women have been doing this for thousands of years. It will come naturally.
 
Ladies,

Thank you all for responding. I sincerely appreciate reading all
yoour posts. What I take away is that I should look into support
at the hospital and locate a lactation consultant. It also seems
the first month is the toughest. I will keep that in mind!!
Now I have to come up with baby names!! Just another challenge
we seem to have!! Perhaps that is why we ended up with a universally
liked /accepted name " Jennifer." The name game is not fun in my house especially since my husband does not like so many!!

Thanks again!

Suzanne
 
Hi There!

My son is about 4 1/2 monthes old and he as only had 4 bottles...which also had breastmilk in it. My FIL and Uncle-in-law kept talking about how breast feeding was such a pain and how easy bottle feeding was. Partly b/c my SIL had a really hard time with breastfeeding and my FIL hated to see her in pain. And I think my Uncle just enjoyed feeding his grandson the bottle.
Either way, I totally ignored both of their comments b/c I wanted what was best for my boy and I couldn't possibly see how bottle feeding was easier.Sure your not as tied down but with bottle feeding you have to sterilize everything and make bottles constintly...which I am sure you are well aware off. They finally got the hint and they gave up their whining and now they are use to the way things are.
Breastfeeding is a natural thing but it does make people uncomfortable but you know what? If they don't want to be around it, then they don't need to be. They can leave and I think you will feel that way after you start feeding your baby. My SIL visited the other day with her new baby and everytime she fed her, she would go into the room, while I on the other hand, just feed my baby wherever! LOL I don't make it totally obvious what I am doing, and I kind of hide it, but I don't sit in a room by myself while nursing him.
I really enjoy nursing him and am hoping to get to Aug month. If I can get longer then thats great but I am going back to work in Nov so I will give up before then.
Not to mention the cals you will burn while feeding your little one. I truly love it and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Good Luck!
Lori:)
 
Thanks Lori!! I am happy you and your little guy are doing so well!!
I looked at your pictures and he is so, so adorable!!! You look
marvelous and a picture of complete health, radiant actually.
It is Mom's like you that really give me the encouragement.
I don't think I will let the comments get too me so much this time.
I also hope nursing will prevent some of the colds, etc little
Jennifer had the first year of her life. I always felt if I nursed
her maybe she would have been sick less, but I will guess I will
never know now. I am sure come August I will be looking for
more support.

Thanks again
 
Thanks for the compliments!:) When its something that you really want to do, I don't think peoples comments will get to you. Just keep thinking, its whats best for your baby and think of all the money you will save! Formula is not cheap.
Let us know how you do and I hope you have a quick, painless delivery!;) :)
 
Having that support and an "expert" around will help you get through those times when you're ready to give up. The lactation consultant I often spoke to told me women often give up at the 3 week and 3 month marks because babies hit a growth spurt and moms feel like they're not producing enough.

I was really frustrated around 4 weeks, because I was nursing about every hour, and it took her half an hour to eat. Now, at almost 6 months, things have really gotten easier.

Again, if you can't, don't beat yourself up, but get all the help you can so you can at least try.
 
Suzanne,

Sorry it took me so long to see your post. I'm an infrequent lurker these days!

I can relate to your problems with jaundice and pressure from doctors, nurses to give formula. I think you have received some good advice from the ladies. I relied heavily on the hospital's lactation consultant.

I also had a lot of problems with nursing in the beginning and the consultant was a constant source of support and was always willing to meet with us to review latch on and proper positioning. My daughter lost about 9 ounces in the hospital and that is when my husband became nervous about BF and wanted to supplement with formula to make sure she was getting enough (though he was supportive of the concept). I resisted, but its so hard given the birth (or surgery) you just went through, being sleep deprived, and not being your normal self due to hormones.

I also used a breast shield for 4-1/2 months because my daughter was a preemie and she wasn't a strong sucker, so it helped her to latch, and then she was addicted/accustomed to it. What a pain in the butt that was, but we muddied through. Suddenly at 4-1/2 months, she wanted nothing more to do with the shield.

I also dealt with plugged ducts about 10 times and mastitis once, which the lactation consultant helped get me through (both very painful). All of these things make you question whether you are doing the right thing and if bottle feeding formula would be easier. BUT, you know the benefits of BF, so stay strong, use your knowledge, get some support, and you will be fine.

If you have to return to work, pumps work great and that is no reason to force you to stop if you don't want to! I work 80% time and we are still nursing (not a lot-3 times per day) at 14 months. Now, I'm off to pump!

Good luck with everything.
 
I nursed my first daughter until she was 26 months old and only stopped because by then I had a new one month old and nursing 2 was not as easy as I thought it would be. I am still nursing my 2nd at 23 months. My first daughter took a full 2-3 months to catch on to nursing well. I supplemented with bottles. The second nursed like a pro from the get go. I am not convinced that it was due to my experience. I just think the 2nd knew how and the 1st didn't.

At first I worried what others thought. But somehow, it just went away with a comment made by a new friend. She saw me offereing my daughter a bottle at the mall. She said, "Don't you breast feed? WHy on earth would you give her a bottle if she breast feeds? Give her the best if you can" I assure you that I nursed wherever and whenever they wanted after that. And I never received any discouraging looks. If someone minded, they kept it too themselves. Maybe the embarassment will go away for you too when you experience the pleasure of nursing your baby.

Good luck!
 
Thank you Linda and JGoycoolea. You ladies give me inspiration.
Sounds like there were hurdles and you both faced them and
perservered! Awesome. I am sure you both were so discouraged especially with Linda's little one losing weight. I can hear my
husband saying the same thing as far as his anxiety. You both
stuck it out and became very successful!! I feel like I quit way
too soon and now know if this baby is jaundiced not to give up
and go with formula from pressure. I know that breast milk is the
best and often wonder how many visits to the ER and doctor could
have been avoided if I breast fed Jennifer. I guess we will never know.
Thank you both for taking the time to post. I really do appreciate.

Take Care.
 
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