Need a Little Support from my Veggie friends...

J

Jcrew3082

Cathlete
Grrr! Has anyone who is a vegetarian or vegan ever faced criticism from her family? My mother is sooo on my last nerve! I've been a vegetarian for a long time, but she still just doesn't get it. If she doesn't agree, that's just fine, but I wish she would keep the comments to herself!

Just ranting... Thanks for reading!
 
Gina....that was my very first hurdle!! Family was very unsupportive but now my one sister is even trying it out herself...imagine that. All I can say is just feel strong in your beliefs and try your darndest to ignore the not so supportive comments...I do know how you feel...:)...Carole
 
Mucho criticism when I went veggie in high school. I even went back to being a meatie :)D ) for a few years because it was so irritating. A little while before I got married, I went veggie again. My fiancee at the time went nuts, acted as though I had turned into an alien or something. He even went to far as to suggest I had done it so I didn't have to eat with him! Well, here it is, eight years later. I'm still a veggie (was vegan for a few years but I missed cheese) but I ditched the husband, and kept my principles!

Ignore the comments. She's your mum. It's tough, but if you don't live with her....I'm assuming you don't live with her....you won;t have to hear it that much. And if she invites you over for dinner, bring a pan of delicious tofu enchiladas from the Tofu Cookery cookbook by Louise Hagler.

Good luck!
 
I've been a veggie for close to fifteen years, any my mom still can't remember I don't eat meat. I always "pack a lunch" when we go to their house for supper. :)

Shari
 
I faced a lot of lack of understanding more than criticism when I first started. I was surprised that my father didn't give me a hard time, but I think it's because he thought it was a passing fad.

I became a veggie when I started college, and I haven't really been close to my family since that time, so I dont get the criticism.

When you're a vegetarian or a vegan, doesn't it sometimes feel like you're living in a different culture, or even a different planet, from most people?

How is your mother criticising you?
 
I was actually raised in a veggie family, and the only hard thing about it was explaining myself at my friend's houses, but luckily it only got easier with time. If you can insist on a different dinner when you're 12, by 18 you feel less of a freak. However, while my family is more than supportive, my husband's family makes "the face" and has always failed to remember that I don't eat meat, or makes a remark about what I won't eat. That is until I "converted" my DH to the "dark side"}( It's easier b/c now I have someone they consider "normal" on my side, but the deal is just twice as big. For a long time, my MIL would try and make my husband's "favorite" meat dishes from childhood and then guilt him by saying, "But you used to love...whatever" "You always ate my..." Or "I always fed you a balanced and healthy diet" (Not true even without any "meatie/veggie" considerations). So it's been really hard for him, but it's a choice he made on his own, although I guess realizing through me how easy and delicious it could be:) He just reminds her that yes, and he remembers how delicious it all was, but that he's been "off meat" so long that it doesn't agree with him anymore and his body feels sick when he eats it. Which was actually true for him the last time he had chicken about 4 years ago. He also makes sure to compliment her cooking and indulge in her meat free creations, and not praise my cooking in front of her. My best advice would be to calmly step back from the issue and just bring your own food, or eat before you come. It's your body, your decision, and if all else fails just smile and fill your mouth with carrot:*
HTH,
Mattea
 
Hi Gina!

I went veggie when I was fifteen. My dad gave me aggro because I also became anorexic around the same time! Poor dad, nearly gave him heart failure! But I have a commanding personality, my parents call it headstrong, and I ignored everything he said and just did my own thing. We then acquired a new family member who was also veggie, a sister-in-law for me, and then my sister went veggie a few years later, so it's pretty much established in my family now.

The comments I received weren;t "why aren't you eating meat?" but rather "why aren't you eating?" The vegetariansim was overshadowed somewhat.

What I would do, if I were you, is prepare ssome weekly meals for my family that are entirely veggie, but just not make a song and dance of it, so that your Mum can gradually see for herself that the food you eat if fabulous and darn healthy.

If she keeps on, you will first have to vent your anger with KPC one day, then calmly tell her to mind her own business (as politely as possible) because this is your life and you will lead it as you wish. Would she like you telling her what to eat, what to wear, where to go?

Diplomacy can sometimes only take you so far, then it's time tojust be frank..... and if she's that thick skinned that none of this frankness takes root, then just ignore it and rise above.

Good luck.

Clare
 
Another "Headstrong" one here...... I used to be a veggie but I needed meat. Did it ever occur to you meat eaters feel they can't eat meat around you? Some people feel that way and it makes them uncomfortable as much as you're uncomfortable telling them you're a veggie. I'm not being rude or picky but I'm sure meat eaters feel as uncomfortable as you. Your mom probably thinks you won't get enough vitamins being just a vegetarian. I know I can't be a complete veggie again. That was when I became anorexic, too. I was 16 so no more for me. Just have a talk with your mom and ask her what the problem is? Also, it's a possibility because everyone else eats meat and you're the only one who's a vegetarian, your mom could forget. I'm not making an excuse for her or anyone but if it's only one person, they could easily forget especially since if you're from a large family. The best thing you could do is bring your own food. Make enough for everyone since they might want to try it. Good luck! :D

Lisa
 
I wound up anorexic when I was veggie, too, and have since eased up, though I lean toward vegetarian eating. Anyhow, I think that Lisa has a good point: a lot of the criticisms I got when I was a veggie I think stemmed from meat-eaters feeling defensive around me--as if my not eating meat was a criticism of their eating habits. They'd react to feeling defensive by attacking me for being vegetarian, often in the guise of arguments about 'it's not healthy..blah blah blah." What I wound up doing is saying that I was vegetarian because of a personal health condition and then refusing to go into any more detail, ending the conversation.

For family it's a bit harder, obviously. It's not just that you've suddenly changed (sudden in their eyes at least) and that you're being 'different,' from the rest of the family--it's also that they have no idea how to cook vegetarian, what you should be eating, and how to make sure that you stay healthy. In their eyes, vegetarianism is a foreign thing you've suddenly brought into their lives, and it's scary for them so they react by being critical. So one thing you might try is educating them. Get your hands on good, authoritative articles about vegetarianism and esp vegetarian athletes, and show them and quote from them to your family when they hit you with the "health" argument. Make sure that *you're* educated about what you need to stay healthy as a vegetarian. Offer to make vegetarian dishes or side dishes at family gatherings. You'll have to be patient, but if you work at it and try not to let their criticism get to you, they will eventually come around to at least grudging acceptance.

I highly recommend the Vegetarian Resource group--vrg.org--for info about vegetarianism that is backed by science, and not just written by someone with no formal training who has decided to call him/herself a "nutritionist."

Hang in there--my dad was initially critical of my being vegetarian. He's 85 years old and when we talk now he brags about his latest recipe for using veggie burgers. :)
 
Hi,
I come from a "Meat Eating" family. As I child, I was forced to eat meat and I never liked it. When I got old enough to make my own decisions, I became a vegetarian. I was a strict vegetarian at age 18, for about 12 years, but ate some meat off and on ...very minimal. For the last 17 years straight, I have not eaten a piece of meat. Yes, my mother still doesn't understand and still makes meat and asks me to have some. I just keep telling her I hate meat. She will never understand, but I don't even care any longer. I also get severe criticism from co-workers and other people, but mainly, the family problems comes from my Mom. I think it is just in their gene's to be "motherly" and they think we need meat to be healthy when in reality we don't. I work in an education department in a large hospital and I just met with the dietician to make sure I'm getting enough protein and calcium in my diet and I'm doing really well by eating low fat cheese, black beans, and yogurt, as well as cereals. It's pretty easy to meet your daily requirements without meat. Go figure!! BTW, I love my Mom dearly, but she'll never understand the meat thing.

Stick to your guns and do what you want!! It's your body!

ETA: I also take a vegetarian forumula vitamin from GNC (has extra B-vitamins for non meat eaters) and If I really feel I may need a little extra protein, I drink a protein shake or take some aminos.
 
Wow - I'm so surprised at all of these posts. Our families have always been very supportive of our vegetarian diet. The only problems we've ever had was from ignorance, but their intentions have always been good. For example, my sister-in-law said that we could eat her baked beans because they only had a "little" bacon in them. Little things like that, but otherwise we've never had problems.

Erica
 
I was wondering how would you go about meeting the protein requirements on a vegetarian diet? I have been trying to ease into a Veggie diet and have been doing pretty good for someone who grew up on a meat based diet, but every book or magazine or diet you read says you need protein and that the easiest way is through lean meats and Chicken breasts. Actually I could argue that Whey Protein shakes are the easiest ( no cooking!!! ) but that stuff doesn't taste all that good. ( But after reading a post here on helping out muscle recovery and DOMS... i tried some and it did help a lot! )Anyway, how do you get enough protein to support an active lifestyle and could you build lean muscle on a veggie diet?
 
R A C H, I am curious, how much protein do you think you need? I did the Zone diet for about 5 years before I turned Vegan, it quit being effective and I started gaining weight. At that time I was eating 120 grams of protein a day because I thought I NEEDED to...I went to 60-80 grams of protein daily, lost 21 lbs and got great muscle definition from P90X and Cathe. I have been told I've never looked leaner. I get my protein form tofu, tempeh, seitan and lots of thing I never tried. Sorry I only have one pic to show you can get muscle definition being a Vegan....:)...Carole
 
>I was wondering how would you go about meeting the protein
>requirements on a vegetarian diet? I have been trying to ease
>into a Veggie diet and have been doing pretty good for someone
>who grew up on a meat based diet, but every book or magazine
>or diet you read says you need protein and that the easiest
>way is through lean meats and Chicken breasts.

There are quite a few books and articles out there pushing what I think is excess protein. Even athletes only need about 1 gm. of protein per kilogram of body weight. Sufficient protein is necessary, but not as much as some diets are pushing. Excess protein (and especially animal-source protein because of the sulfur-containig amino acids that are prevalent in it) is hard on the kidneys, can negatively affect the immune system (see what Andrew Weil says about this), and in the best of circumstances, just gets peed out!

Like Carole, I use a lot of tofu, tempeh and seitan, all good protein sources (especially the tofu and tempeh, which are complete proteins and not as processed as seitan). Other good protein sources are beans (in particular black beans, edamame--green soy, and black soy) and quinoa (a complete protein grain). (Complete protein just means that all the 8 essential amino acids are present in amounts that could sustain health if that food were used as the sole source of protein. "incomplete" proteins are low in certain amino acids, but by combining foods that compliment each other--either in the same meal or over the course of a day--your body creates a complete protein. Combos like grains and legumes--the old "beans and rice"--are an example of that.)

If you are concerned about protein, there is an excellent vegan meal replacement pea and rice protein (which,when combined, create a complete protein) powder called Vegan Complete available from www.veganessentials.com . When I want a fast breakfast with some good protein, I'll make a smoothie with it in (my latest creation: 1 cup mango/apple juice, one very ripe banana, a handful of organic frozen raspberries, a scoop of Vegan Complete, a tbsp of flax meal. Yummy!
 
Kathryn (above) had some excellent ways for us vegetarians to get our protein, however, I'm a pretty picky eater and I only like certain foods. After checking with the dietician I spoke with at work, I'm getting enough protein thru eating black beans, yogurt, low fat swiss cheese and cereals and other whole grains. It's really quite easy to do it this way and I don't cook...so even easier for me. Also, it won't hurt to have a protein shake if you think you didn't have enough protein for a day, however, Kathryn's suggestions above are the most nutritious. I give her a lot of credit, as that takes some planning and discipline on her part. thanks Kathryn!!
 
You do look amazing. In my attempt to cut out meat and chicken, I think I've been living off of Tofu, red kidney beans, chick peas, spinach, bockchoy and veggie burgers. We had KFC the other night and it made me ill for some reason. I must read some books though, there's only so much I could do with a can of beans.
 
Thanks R A C H....you know it's been 9 months and besides my beliefs about animal protein and why I don't consume it, I am kinda afraid anyway. I think now it could make me a bit sick!! And you would be surprised what you can do with a can of beans! One of my favorite sites for recipes and questions is www.vegsource.com.

Thanks too Kathryn, you have a great way of putting things and you have always been helpful to those here on this forum...:) I have to say "Yes" about feeling like you live in a different culture when you are vegan. I never knew there were so many different and good things to eat out there....:)...Carole
 
Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone for your support and for cheering me up!

I’m still kind of young and do live at home, so I can’t avoid the comments. I will continue to try to ignore them, though. My family never eats together, so luckily the comments are kind of random. My mom just seems to blurt out nonsense sometimes, like following the word “organic” with “b*llsh*t”. She just doesn’t understand and thinks vegetarianism is like trying to save the world and that it doesn’t matter because other people are just going to eat meat anyway. I’m just trying to make my own informed decisions and do what I can to make a small difference. I’m glad I can vent here, and thanks again for all of the responses!
 
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