My heart is broken...work-related

Clarissa

Clarissa

Cathlete
I have an open position at my organization for which I am recruiting. I placed the ad in the local paper. I received a call early this week from an agency that deals with physically challenged individuals. The man asked me if I would please interview a candidate who he believed was qualified but couldn't find a job for the life of him. He has cerebral palsy. He did not indicate the severity, and I didn't care nor did I ask. HOwever, I met with the man today. It was the most challenging thing I have ever had to do (in my job) to date. He couldn't walk, could barely speak (maybe about 5 percent understandable) and sadly had jerky tremors the whole interview. He was brilliant and I attempted to make out everything he said. I never asked him to repeat himself and I didn't act like "anything was wrong". I am sure he gets that all the time where people will talk to him like he is a child; I knew he didn't want that. I asked him everything I asked any other candidate and I laughed when I thought he was funny and I validated him when he had a good answer. I had to focus more than 100 percent on what he was saying due to his limitations. I really struggled. The thing is, unfortunately, for the job he applied for, there is no way he could do it with or without accomodation due to needing communication skills and fine motor skills. But it just broke my heart to see him struggle so much. He was a computer programmer for 20 years for a large national company. They layed him off and that was 9 years ago. No one will hire him. No one. I could not. But he deserves a chance, you know. Truthfully, he was trapped in his body and that really really upsets me. I wish there was something I could do. But my boss tells me, I can't save the world. She says, I can't enable people. But I work for a non-profit Motherhouse of Sisters whose mission is to help the underpriviliged. ANyway, when I left him (all smiles in front of him of course) I ran to the bathroom and had a good cry. why does this have to happen to people? I hate my job sometimes. It is NEVER easy to be in this position. Needless to say, I didn't obsess over my workouts, calories, and appearance today. It helps put things into perspective. Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry so long.
Clarissa
 
Oh, Clarissa, having been in Human Resources myself, I know how you feel. Good for YOU, though, in being HUMAN! It IS very unfair for that gentleman, but you were fair, equal, and friendly....in other words...you were YOU!

I feel for this gentleman too. All we can do is say a prayer that somebody is looking over him and that he WILL find what he SO deserves!

Gayle
 
Clarissa:

it sucks big time, it truly does. It sucks not just that the man suffers so many limitations, but it sucks so much that there's so little you could do to help him.

For what it's worth, you validated his humanity simply by giving him the time of day and entertaining the possibility that he could do the job, by treating him like any other job candidate.

For the record, I personally do not think there's anything wrong with wanting to save the world, one person at a time. It would make you some kind of super hero, wouldn't it?

Kudos to you for having heart, :) .

Clare
 
Clarissa, that is hard hard stuff. I'm impressed at how well you handled it. I probably would have attempted to do what you did but would have been tearing up even as I spoke to him. I have a cousin with M.S.--also a very intelligent man and always full of humor and spit and vinegar. When he has a downturn with his illness and has trouble speaking, it can be very hard to talk to him and not to let him see the pity and to carry on a conversation as normal. I don't know what can be done in such a situation to make someone's life better.

[font face="comic sans ms" font color=teal]***Lainie***

My fitness blog: http://web.mac.com/lainiefig/iWeb/Site/Exercise/Exercise.html

"The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself." -- Mark Twain[/font]
 
Clarissa, thank you so much for caring. That means alot to me. I have a special needs adult son who now, praise God, is in a unique group home setting and working in a sheltered workshop. I also have an 11 month old grandson with brain damage and probable CP, although we don't know the severity and can't predict the future for him. I'm thankful you treated this man with dignity and did the best you could for him.
 
Hi Clarissa,

I think it is wonderful that you care so much. It just shows what a big heart you have, which we don't see often in this 'Me, myself and mine' mind set so many people have.

As far as not being able to save the world, screw that! No, one person cannot save the world, but we can each save a little bit of it. :)

DeeDee
 
Thanks everyone. I still can't stop thinking about him today. I am not looking forward to sending him a letter of regret when I return to the office next week. Darn it.
Clarissa
 
Clarissa,

That was a very powerful post. I pray he is peaceful and being protected. It is good to know there are good people out there like yourself who show compassion to our fellow humans. Good luck with your letter. I am sure you will find the right words.
 
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