cookiebaby
Cathlete
Okay everyone, I want to share my gym experience. I think that we all need some comic relief and a good laugh. I went to the YMCA at 6am before I took a shower or brushed my teeth. I threw on old smelly sweats and barely managed to pull my thick coarse unruly hair into something that resembled a ponytail. I look like Frankenstein in the morning. I get stuck in a parking space that is the way end of the lot. Who knew the Y is that busy then? Well, I have to compete with a snowbank the size of a house to get to the meter. I fall in the snow, dropping my last quarter and soaking my hair and body. I finally get up and have to fish under the backseats of my car to find a quarter (and an old mini snickers which I pop in my mouth because I'm starving and of course because I'm trying to be healthy, I curse myself for doing so) I make it to the front of the door and I can smell the baking of muffins and cinnamon buns from the bakery two doors down. I get to the front desk, where I ask the girl for a towel. She tells me that she can give me a damp one because their dryer is broken. I decline. So I go into the locker room. Where my locker is, there is an older woman getting dressed. She is using powder like she never be able to have it again, and I end up looking like a white ghost, as does my bag. My locker door is jammed and I end up blooding my finger trying to jar it open. I go to the front desk to ask for a band aid, the only ones they have is Barbie doll ones for the little girls, so I take it. Now I have beautiful, skinny, blonde, perfectly white teeth Barbie smiling up at me. Well, I get to the workout room. There is a few people on the cardio machines. I go to the weights. I'm by myself. I start on the bench with a chest press. I finish my set, which took me at most a minute, and are about to put the weights back when this man rushes up to me. He starts yelling at me because I "stole" the weights he needed to use, then he starts muttering Russian under his breath, I'm sure he wasn't telling me to have a good day. So I decide to run around the track. Then in comes the aerobic instructors, which could be Playboy bunnies. They all have their hair, nails and makeup done, why I don't know. They are wearing very fitting, leave little to the imagination tank tops and shorts. Now I'm sweaty and tired, huffing and puffing, and smell like a rotting dead animal carcass. The girls get on the track as I have stopped, bent over having a heart attack. They are really running, looking perfect with absolutely no bounce, with smiles on their faces. I try to hobble off the track before they reach me but one of them bumps right into me! She stops as the others continues, is all apologetic with her Revlon blond hair, heavily mascared eyes, and a bleached teeth smile. "I'm sorry" she says, then blurts out, "We're very serious about exercise, us girls. We run the track everyday at this time. You must be new because everyone knows that and allows us the use of the track. You must be careful, some one in your shape needs to start out slow." She emphasizes the words your shape and slow. I just grin, thinking 'Listen you plastic, made up bimbo, I'll show you how fast some one in my shape can kick your butt' I leave the area flustered and annoyed. I get back to the locker room where there is another one of them next to my locker. She says hello and asks me how I am, then tells me she saw me on the track, and carefully explains that maybe someday I'll look as good as her. She runs 5 miles, swims 5 miles, and bikes 5 miles a day. She tells me not to be discouraged, as she stuffs a donut in her mouth. Well, I go to leave and there is another instructor outside by the door smoking. She smiles and tells me to come again. As I get to my car, another woman is trying to squeeze her huge SUV into the sandbox space next to me, which she can't and ends up scraping my passenger side. Not really bad but noticeable. She gets out, also pretty and perfumed, and is all "so sorry" She looks me up and down as if I'm an elephant and wants to exchange info. Then she says that she parks in this space the same time, every day and it's her space because she is very serious about coming to the Y and exercise. As she's giving me her information, she tells me that if I keep at it, I'll look as good as her. I get her info, and close my eyes, put my hands over my face to ask what have I done to have a morning like this. I open my eyes to see my Barbie band aid staring at me. I rip it off as I rapidly walk to the bakery to get a brownie!x(
Normally I don't read really long post but that one kept me going.See, this is why we should stick to our Cathe workouts.When I do my workout all I have to deal with are the two guinea pigs squecking at me.They are probably wondering why I am up so early considering that they have been up all night long.To bad, they can stay up for an extra hour.
