MOMS> Your teenager is driving....

T

toastythemosty

Cathlete
My DD got her learners permit last summer. Only driven about 6 times since then. She is just not as motivated to drive and I am a Control Freak anyways. As you can see, we are having a hard time. When she does drive, I tend to grab the wheel when I think she is not making the turn very well. AGH! It is just making me nervous and I don't look forward to her driving at all as it scares the heck out of me. I am grateful that she doesn't like to drive fast. LOL

Charlotte~~
 
Hi Charlotte,

My daughter will be getting her permit in a few months. I am a nervous wreck.

But, what I hate more is the boys driving over to the house. I'd rather her drive than get in a car with a teenage boy!!!!

STRESS!!!!

Beverly
 
Oh Charlotte. Sounds to me like you are being a normal mom!:) My mom STILL gets nervous at times when I am driving and she is in the car and I am 32 years old! LOL She was DEFINATELY much worse when I was first learning though!

~Wendy~

I smoked my last cigarette on March 17, 2004 at 10:00 pm!

http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?WENDYMIN

http://lilypie.com/days/050519/1/0/1/-5/.png[/img]
EDD: 05/19/05
 
Charlotte -

My daughter just signed up for driver's ed during summer school and I'm NOT looking forward to it AT ALL! I'm hoping her dad will practice with her a lot because I'm not too sure how I'll do - I have control freak-like tendencies also. GEESH!!! :eek:

Angie
 
Beverly- I am just trying to get passed the first part of just her driving. Haven't really thought too much of the later...that is just waaayyyy too scary. One scary moment at a time for me. Can't handle all of that at once. LOL

Charlotte~~
 
Beverly,

Does your state not have a law that prevents new drivers from carrying passengers for the first 6 months of having their license? We live in Georgia, and until a teenager has had his/her license for 6 months, they cannot drive with another teenager in the car! Best law ever made in my opinion!

Another law is that they have a midnight curfew until they turn 18. My DS is almost 18 (July), and he's had his license for a year now. He waited almost a year after turning 16 before he got his license. I was glad. I think 16 is truly too young to realize the responsiblities of being behind the wheel.

I am fortunate though. My DS is a good, safe driver. I have to admit though, when he first started driving, I made him call me every time he got TO his destination, and everytime he LEFT to come back home. I've relaxed over the last year though.

Charlotte, it seems so scary at first, but the best thing you can do is relax and let them gain the confidence they need. They can sense your distress, so the best thing to do is RELAX!! (Easier said than done, I know!)
 
Charlotte,

When my DD started driving I mentally prepared by telling myself she was going to have at least one fender bender her first year, just like I did. This relieved my stress tremendously. Guess what, she did have one fender bender about six months after she started and I was okay with it.

It's tough letting our kids go. It's really going to be up to you to try to control your emotions when you're in the car with her. If you keep grabbing the wheel from her, subconsciously you're sending a message that you're not confident in her abilities. This in turn will make her more nervous. I'm not preaching to you, Charlotte, I'm just speaking as someone who has been there, done that.

Her driving is a huge milestone in both your lives :)
 
Charlotte,

My sixteen year old doesn't even want to get her permit! We live right down the street from her high school, so she doesn't feel any need OR MOTIVATION to drive. When I asked her about this last week she was very honest with me and said, " Mom, I shouldn't be trusted behind a wheel! I have driven with a couple of my friends in their cars and I was afraid for my life...no thanks. I'll wait until I'm a senior."

Since we live down the street from the HS we see some scary things with kids and their driving, always have. I think she is just plain scared! We are imporing her to get her permit by summer and hopefully she will feel she can practice her driving at her own pace.

The whole idea of her driveing does scare me though. My DH doesn't have any of the same fears I do...weird. deb
 
Ah Charlotte I always say I would rather potty train all over again than teach my kids to drive! I have two driving teenagers 19 and 17. My recomendation is driving lessons. If Drivers Eduction programs are not availabe near you, check out private driving schools. We sent out son to driving school and we all along better. It was well worth the cost. The instructor even took him to the road test and he took the test in their car. Driving testers will usually pass anyone showing up with their instructor, because the instructor will not let them sign up for the test until they are good drivers.

However, I still do not let them drive when i am in the car with them!
Judy
AKA "Likes2bfit"
sport-smiley-009.gif
http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/sport/sport-smiley-003.gif
 
Charlotte,
I went throught it with two girls. They are now 22 and 20. I always worried so much too. I always put the responsibility on my daughters-if they get a ticket, they pay. If they wreck their car, they pay, etc. Kids seem to take more responsiblity that way and are more cautious.

Joanne

P.S. I would suggest not grabbing her steering wheel anymore :)
 
I feel your pain. My 16 yr. old son was determined to get his permit on his birthday. We got him driving lessons as a birthday gift. It really was a good idea, because he learned the basics w/ a teacher and my husband and I are there for him to practice w/. (Good thing, since I don't think I've parallel parked since my road test in 1978!)
I still want to throw up every time I get in the car w/ him and he's careful. There's just so much about driving we don't know when we start: how to come to a smooth stop, keep a steady speed, negotiate a curve, make a safe left hand turn . . . . He did cancel his scheduled road test appt. because he didn't feel ready. That gave me comfort.
I agree w/ Joanne about the kid being responsible for any driving goofs (tickets, accidents etc). it's a tough lesson, but better learned early.
Valerie
 
When I was learning how to drive, my dad took me a couple of times, and my stepmother once (she about had a stroke when she was trying to teach me to use the gear shift in her Volkswagon, and I was confused by THREE pedals on the floor and almost ran into a fence--at the fairgrounds where we were practicing). Otherwise, I did most of my early driving with my driver's ed teacher.

I think it would be a good idea to not allow people under the age of 18 to drive! (or maybe under 21 if you're talking about boys). The older I get, the scarier the idea of a 16 year old driving is.
 
Kathryn- that is why I don't mind that she hasn't practiced much. For all I care, she can wait and get her license when she is 20. I just want to make sure she is ready. On the other hand, my son who is 14 just can't wait until he is of age to drive. Gosh, I have to go thru this twice. LOL

Charlotte~~
 
My daughter had to have her permit THE day she could get it. That was last August and she's driven twice. I really could have used valium both times. The first time she hit a rock, the tire when flat, I put the jack in the wrong place, the car fell off the jack. All the while she wept and I tried to fix things, which was a disaster. We called for rescue, but not her dad, oh no. We came in hot, sweaty, dirty or I did; she opted to hide out in her room. We didn't tell him until a few days later. Like her, he tends to overreact. After the fact works best. He can't teach her because it would get ugly. He can't handle tearful breakdowns (yet he causes so many). I just don't want to. It was horrible. I was scared, man, and I had to pretend I wasn't. I had to smile and encourage while my blood pressure rocketed, I'm sure. And they don't have Drivers Ed. at her high school. At least, I scared the heck out of a professional who could take control of the car at any moment. I think 18 is a good age to learn to drive. Or twenty. :)
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"

Man improves himself as he follows his path; if he stands still, waiting to improve before he makes a decision, he'll never move.

-Paulo Coelho
 
I'm w/ you, Bobbi. Got my permit at 16, but didn't get around to taking my road test until I was 18, the summer b4 college. (I hardly drove until I was 18). My husband didn't take his test until after his freshman yr. in college.
16 is young for some, not for others. I'm grateful my son has realized 'there's a lot more to driving than I thought'. He's not in a big hurry now, even tho' his friends are.
 
My dad made me get mine at 18. I got my permit on my 16th birthday. My daughter's boyfriend started driving 8 months or so ago. I asked him to drive me in my car and that was hairy too! I happy to say he has become an excellent, s-l-o-w, defensive driver. I was worried at first but it's so nice not be drop off and pick up every weekend! Teenagers are a trip! She tugs at my heart strings with all the independance she's demanding. I melt when she calls me mommy. Even though it means she's going to ask for money. ;)

Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"

Man improves himself as he follows his path; if he stands still, waiting to improve before he makes a decision, he'll never move.

-Paulo Coelho
 
I know what you mean. My daughter 19 just took the car 6.5 hours up to college. Thanks God for cell phones. She stopped a few times up and called to let me know she was ok.

Strange like some of you said, it's not such a burning desire for kids to drive in our town early. They want the permit but..

Due to my son's situation last summer he can't get his permit for awhile.. fortunately he is on the old end for his grade and kids are so anxious to get their licenses. We should find out soon the prognosis for him getting it... Pray it will all work out

Yep... shows how much we love our kids.. and yes it is so hard having them grow up ...
 
I am so with you on this. My daughter turned 18 and has had her permit for a year and a half. I've managed to drive about 8 hours total. In MD, they take a drivers ed. class which gives them 8 of the 40 hours of driving they need to get their license. But the parents need to provide the 32 hours on the road. Recently, my 16 year old son took the drivers class and received his permit also. So now I have 2 inexperienced drivers I have to be training. AARGH! But I am sooooo sick of driving them to work, and everywhere else that I am READY to bite the bullet and do this.

Recently I started doing something that seems to help both of us. I found a 4 mile loop that has a combination of roads. Some residential, some hiway. It has some stop signs, yields, and stop lights. I am having them drive this loop several times till they get comfortable with speed regulation, stopping, changing lanes, and staying in their lane. Once they demonstrate that they are comfortable with the wheel and speed regulation, then we venture to other places. I'm always telling them the speed will come, but for now concentrate on staying in their lane and keeping a safe distance from other cars.

I hate doing this so much I even looked into the driving school helping them with their 40 hours BUT it cost over $1000.00!!!! (It's already $250 for the required classroom time.)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top