Moms with daughters....kind of personal...and long!

[autumn]

I agree that it is never too early to discuss things. This may raise some eyebrows, but my 5 y/o already knows about periods. She has known since she was 3. She follows me to the restroom and asked questions. At first I didn't address it, but I realized I didn't want her to view her period as shameful, bad, a curse, etc. She is happy with very basic answers. I talk about it like I do voiding or other body functions. The details and objectives of our discussions will evolve as she gets older. Of course, she doesn't know the details of ovulation, etc. I encourage all parents to talk to their kids. It can be uncomfortable for some, but children NEED a reliable source of information. The very young girls I have seen in the clinic do not have the information they need, and what info they have often comes from peers. Many of them state they can't talk to their parents. I am sure you can imagine the information they gain from their peers.

Good luck with the talk.

Autumn

 

[Dani53]

I just want to thank you all!! All the ideas and suggestions are very reassuring and I knew I was coming to the right place!

I mostly appreciate the "real life" stories and thanks for your willingness to be so open and honest!

 

[andtckrtoo]

For me, I've always been open with my daughter and willing to talk to her about anything. Ever since DD started asking questions about different things, I guess, we just naturally progressed into TTOM, what to do and how to handle it. I remember my mom taking me aside and sitting down with me to talk about various things in a grown up manner, and I remember how important it made me feel. I wanted to do that with my daughter, so whenever I think she needs to talk - or I do - we go somewhere (sometimes even just the back yard) where it's just the two of us, and I let her ask away.

 

[candi]

My daughter talked to my granddaughter when she was about 7. She told me Hailie took it real well and understands that it's part of being a girl.

 

[gettingstrong]

Kit, I love your post. That's just what I want with my older daughter.

Autumn , I think it's great that you are treating it as a natural thing....But , has your daughter run up to a stranger and said "my mommy has her period today"? lol.


Now , if you think it's tough talking to your daughter, try explaining erections, ejaculation, masturbation and wet dreams to your son. ugh. Marnie

 

[NurseLRT]

Hi Dani,

I agree with posters above. If you treat it as a natural thing, and explain it in a matter of fact, scientific way I don't think it will be a problem.

My mom really never discussed it with me at length. I think she was a bit shy or embarrassed about it.

I have no problem with the human body and its functions. That's life. I use the proper words for anatomy with my children. There is no embarrassment.

Good luck.

Lori

 

[autumn]

Well Marnie... she has. She isn't soft spoken either. When we were in San Diego Airport a few years ago, she announced it in a very full restroom. Most people thought it was funny. She did it again in Wal-mart the other day... I heard the women in the stalls snickering. Soooo, I have to remind her that it is not appropriate conversation with everyone. She also asked my DH if he gets a period? LOL!

I hope I am handling it well. It is just as natural as voiding, sweating,etc., but there is the connection with reproduction... sex... that makes people uncomfortable with it. I'm thinking my child who is well-versed in anatomy, physiology, and medical terms may not be so popular with other children one day.

Autumn

 

[exercise forever]

My fourteen year old daughter started hers when she was eleven. And it was something we talked about openly, so she was not surprised the day she started. I remember I was watching her at cheerleading practice when she started. She come up to me and said she had and was alittle nervous. So the cheerleading coach told her she could go home and my daughter refused! I could not believe she still wanted to jump around and act like it was nothing! So she got a pad and went on with the cheering. I wish my mom had of been more open with me.

And she is terrified of tampoons. She will only use pads and I feel for her. She has tried one and gets frustrated because it doesn't work out right. But one day she will get up the courage to try it.


kim

 

[Dani53]

Just an update...

I finally was able to get the book (thanks Nicole ) and things are going really well. I think I discovered that my reaction was not the norm and you all were so great with sharing your experiences and suggestions that it was more encouraging than you know. I don't know why I was so wierd about it as an adolescent, preoccupied is a better word, but it obviously made me still feel wierd to explain it all.

Anyway, my daughter is great. She was so excited to get a book that was meant just for her. In her classic form, meaning no embarassment at all, she sits down on the couch and starts reading. While I am starting dinner, she starts asking questions. The first one right out of the gate, with her two older brothers right there was "Mom, does it hurt to put one of those tampons thingys in?". The boys were just as curious in their own way too. It has all turned out so well because all three kids ended up talking about growing up and the conversation was such a nice open discussion. I was actually quite proud of my kids. I should have expected this reaction because I know better, but you all pushed me into it and I thank you!!

Lastly, it really is a great book for young girls. Once I got my hands on it and could look through it I was really impressed. So many topics are covered and is such a nice clear way. Highly recommend this one to moms out there!!

 

[autumn]

"It has all turned out so well because all three kids ended up talking about growing up and the conversation was such a nice open discussion. I was actually quite proud of my kids."

That is GREAT!!!! It is wonderful that you are a concerned and loving mother! I wish more parents made such efforts!! Your children have a GREAT mother!

 

[Carol_is_fit]

My daughter is 14 and a half and just started regular periods about six months ago. My husband and I are both nurses so she's used to "medical" things being discussed at home. We had "the talk" quite a while ago. She had irregular ones for about six months before the real stuff hit. She was in school, of course! It worked out fine. I found if I approached it as simply a normal thing in her life she wasn't quite so freaked out. If you feel she's ready (and it sounds like she believes she is) talk to her. If you don't feel comfortable trying to find the right words, there are some excellent books available that you could read with her, or let her read them on her own and you could both then discuss the information in it. Better she learn from you than get misinformation from friends or the Internet. I'm very fortunate in that I've kept the lines of communication open, and Nik comes to me with (sometimes) TOO much her friends have told her or she's read somewhere, looking for the truth! LOL!! Better that than having her say nothing to me I guess. HTH!

Carol

 

[FAB 40]

The American Girl is an excellent. I think I gave it to my daughter when she was 8. She is now 10 and still read it from time to time. She attends a small private school and all the girls in here class got the book after she had it(about 8 girls). It really explain alot about everything for nail and hair care to sex.