allwildgirl
Cathlete
Do your kids ever ask you for a little brother or sister? If so, how do you handle that? I feel horribly guilty every time my DD says something about having a sibling.
Moms of only children...
- Thread starter allwildgirl
- Start date
cwsoxfan
Cathlete
Yes! My DD(7) wants a baby sister badly. My DH and I would do it too if we could be 100% sure it would be a girl. We have two boys already. We found out on the 20 week ultrasound on my third pregnancy just because of my DD. She was so sure it would be a girl. Needless to say, she ran up stairs hysterically and locked herself in her bedroom when we found out we were having a boy! I was crying, she was crying. It was a mess. Of course, she absolutely adores her baby brother. I just couldn't go through that again. I also don't feel quite done yet. Oh, if my dh heard me say that he'd shoot me! LOL!
I feel a lot of guilt. I know that didn't answer your question. I just wanted you to know I understand what you're going through.
Dallas
I feel a lot of guilt. I know that didn't answer your question. I just wanted you to know I understand what you're going through.
Dallas
I have four kids, but I was an only child and desperately wanted an older sibling - something my parents really couldn't do anything about. Every morning, I would wake up thinking that my parents adopted a big brother for me during the night as a surprise. Of course, that never happened.
Don't feel guilty - I had so many opportunities as an only child that I never would have had if I had siblings. Also, I had lots of attention from my parents that I didn't have to share with anyone. My youngest still wants me to have a baby so that she can be a big sister. Before she came along, one of her brothers cried because he wanted me to have another baby so he could be a big brother. You can't give them everything they want!
Erica
Don't feel guilty - I had so many opportunities as an only child that I never would have had if I had siblings. Also, I had lots of attention from my parents that I didn't have to share with anyone. My youngest still wants me to have a baby so that she can be a big sister. Before she came along, one of her brothers cried because he wanted me to have another baby so he could be a big brother. You can't give them everything they want!
Erica
EEEEK! Not yet Shelley, LOL 
Aiden is only 16 months so I have some time on that one. We are not sure what the future will bring us in that department yet.
In terms of your daughter, I thought you said Sophie is around 10? If this is true, you could probably better explain the situation to her than a younger child. Also to add in, depends what you are doing in terms of wanting another or not. If you do, tell her that if she is patient she will hopefully get one in the future. If you don't, you can tell her that you would prefer to lavish all of your love (plus more..), time & attention on her right now.
I know this sounds simplistic, but I think you get the idea Good luck!
"you miss 100% of the shots you never take"
Debbie
Aiden is only 16 months so I have some time on that one. We are not sure what the future will bring us in that department yet. In terms of your daughter, I thought you said Sophie is around 10? If this is true, you could probably better explain the situation to her than a younger child. Also to add in, depends what you are doing in terms of wanting another or not. If you do, tell her that if she is patient she will hopefully get one in the future. If you don't, you can tell her that you would prefer to lavish all of your love (plus more..), time & attention on her right now.
I know this sounds simplistic, but I think you get the idea
Good luck!"you miss 100% of the shots you never take"
Debbie
Shelley,
My son is my only child and he liked it that way. When he was young he use to beg me not to have anymore kids! So I had the oppsite issue. Not that I wanted more anyway so it was a easy promise to make He is 24 and let me tell you he STILL has the only child Syndrome!!!
Terri
My son is my only child and he liked it that way. When he was young he use to beg me not to have anymore kids! So I had the oppsite issue. Not that I wanted more anyway so it was a easy promise to make
He is 24 and let me tell you he STILL has the only child Syndrome!!!Terri
allwildgirl
Cathlete
She's actually 7, Debbie. I do try to explain to her that if she had a sibling, she'd have to share everything and we wouldn't get to do all the fun things that we do because we couldn't afford it with two kids. I'm 41, and my SO has been "fixed", so barring any sort of Divine Intervention, I'm not planning on any more kids
The only thing that actually seemed to get through to her was when I told her that if she had a brother or sister, we couldn't take trips to Cuba anymore!
I'm getting her a puppy. Maybe that will help
The only thing that actually seemed to get through to her was when I told her that if she had a brother or sister, we couldn't take trips to Cuba anymore!
I'm getting her a puppy. Maybe that will help
I am an only child... well, my dad has two sons from a previous marriage that want nothing to do with me... so I classify myself as an only child. I have always wanted siblings and detest being an only child. My parents wanted more, but they just never could have any. According to them, I was a miracle (of science I might add ).
Anyway, I think being honest with her. I'd explain that you and your SO can't have anymore... I may not go into the details at this point but I'd explain that it isn't possible. Have you ever asked her why she wants a sibling?
). Anyway, I think being honest with her. I'd explain that you and your SO can't have anymore... I may not go into the details at this point but I'd explain that it isn't possible. Have you ever asked her why she wants a sibling?
libra01971
Cathlete
Shelley -
I do the same with Michael, my (almost)9 year old son. I tell him he'd have to share his stuff. I also have told him that I'd have to give attention to a baby if I ever had another (which I don't intend to do)which would take time away from our together time. That usually helps a little.
Honestly, if I could go back I would seriously consider having another right after him. I always feel bad for him being so alone so much. He's had imaginary friends. I have thought about getting a puppy also. A kitten didn't work out.x(
I do the same with Michael, my (almost)9 year old son. I tell him he'd have to share his stuff. I also have told him that I'd have to give attention to a baby if I ever had another (which I don't intend to do)which would take time away from our together time. That usually helps a little.
Honestly, if I could go back I would seriously consider having another right after him. I always feel bad for him being so alone so much. He's had imaginary friends.
I have thought about getting a puppy also. A kitten didn't work out.x(Shelley,
Divine intervention does happen!
A friend of ours turned 60 in July. He was "fixed" about 10 years ago. He married a lady a few years ago, who is now 32. She had been told by drs. that she probably couldn't have childern.
They had a baby girl this past May!!!
Eeeks -- he is 60. Can you imagine that?
Just some fun food for thought!
BTW--my 4yr old has been pestering DH and I for a little brother. We are working on it, but how do you explain that to him, without him telling the entire world?
Best Wishes,
Tina
Divine intervention does happen!
A friend of ours turned 60 in July. He was "fixed" about 10 years ago. He married a lady a few years ago, who is now 32. She had been told by drs. that she probably couldn't have childern.
They had a baby girl this past May!!!
Eeeks -- he is 60. Can you imagine that?
Just some fun food for thought!
BTW--my 4yr old has been pestering DH and I for a little brother. We are working on it, but how do you explain that to him, without him telling the entire world?
Best Wishes,
Tina
allwildgirl
Cathlete
Autumn - I haven't actually asked her outright why she wants a sibling, but perhaps next time she brings it up, I will. I have a feeling it has to do with having someone to play with more.
I was sort of raised as an only as well. My next closest sibling is 8 years older than me, and when I was 12, we moved overseas and she didn't come with us.
Laura - I feel the same. If I could go back, I'd likely give her a sibling closer to her age. But that choice was taken away from me (not by my SO, I might add, but by Sophie's Dad, who decided unilaterally that we weren't having any more children).
I was sort of raised as an only as well. My next closest sibling is 8 years older than me, and when I was 12, we moved overseas and she didn't come with us.
Laura - I feel the same. If I could go back, I'd likely give her a sibling closer to her age. But that choice was taken away from me (not by my SO, I might add, but by Sophie's Dad, who decided unilaterally that we weren't having any more children).
JAFitMama
Cathlete
Shelly
It can be vey hard for a child (or anybody) to learn that we can't always have what we want. But, when my kids wish for the impossible, I try to remind them of the many ways we have already been blessed.
You seem like an absolutely wonderful parent, and I have faith that you can try to explain to Sophie that some families are meant to have 1 kid and some are meant to have many. It would be so boring if every family had two or three kids. Jeez you folks should spend some time with us, Sophie would probably be very happy to go back to her own environment after a loud visit with our large family!!!
Judy
"Likes2bfit" , The original, since 1999
It can be vey hard for a child (or anybody) to learn that we can't always have what we want. But, when my kids wish for the impossible, I try to remind them of the many ways we have already been blessed.
You seem like an absolutely wonderful parent, and I have faith that you can try to explain to Sophie that some families are meant to have 1 kid and some are meant to have many. It would be so boring if every family had two or three kids. Jeez you folks should spend some time with us, Sophie would probably be very happy to go back to her own environment after a loud visit with our large family!!!
Judy
"Likes2bfit" , The original, since 1999
materialsgirl
Cathlete
I agree with the others who have said that she needs to understand that she would have to share her stuff, and time with you, etc. Being an only child is a luxury! I speak from experience, being an only myself. Does Sophie have many friends her age? Maybe she's lacking companionship from other children. I had lots of friends in the neighborhood and at daycare and school, so the thought of wanting a sibling never crossed my mind. I had many more opportunities because my parents were able to afford things for me that they wouldn't have been able to had they had more children (like going to an out-of-state university). Tell Sophie she'll need an extra-large college fund if she wants to study geology at a prestigious university!
Does Sophie have many friends her age? Maybe she's lacking companionship from other children. I had lots of friends in the neighborhood and at daycare and school, so the thought of wanting a sibling never crossed my mind. I had many more opportunities because my parents were able to afford things for me that they wouldn't have been able to had they had more children (like going to an out-of-state university). Tell Sophie she'll need an extra-large college fund if she wants to study geology at a prestigious university!
allwildgirl
Cathlete
Well, I think the sharing of ME would be the hardest part for her
Thanks everyone, for the great insights. Emily, she does have lots of friends at school, but not many in our neighbourhood yet. I guess I just worry overly about her, since she's my only baby.
Thanks everyone, for the great insights. Emily, she does have lots of friends at school, but not many in our neighbourhood yet. I guess I just worry overly about her, since she's my only baby.
dani21496
Cathlete
My son used to ask me that all the time. (He's 9)
Now he has a new half-brother. My ex just had a baby with his new wife.
When he would ask me, I would just tell him that I didn't know if I'd have another one. Maybe someday.
Then I would remind him that he's my one and only special little guy, and he doesn't have to worry about sharing his toys.
Now he has a new half-brother. My ex just had a baby with his new wife.
When he would ask me, I would just tell him that I didn't know if I'd have another one. Maybe someday.
Then I would remind him that he's my one and only special little guy, and he doesn't have to worry about sharing his toys.
exercise forever
Cathlete
Shelley-
My 14 year old twin girl ask me would I give her a sister. I just looked at her like she was crazy and said "yeah right!"
I think her brother is quite enough!
kim
My 14 year old twin girl ask me would I give her a sister. I just looked at her like she was crazy and said "yeah right!"
I think her brother is quite enough!
kim
dss62467
Cathlete
Teri has never asked. I have asked her if she would like a brother or sister, and she always says no. Then I say, "good. cuz you're not getting one."
I don't ever want to have another baby myself, but I would consider adopting a child later on - one who is about 4 or 5. No more infants.
I don't ever want to have another baby myself, but I would consider adopting a child later on - one who is about 4 or 5. No more infants.
JeanneMarie
Cathlete
My 18 year old DS is an only child! He has never, ever wanted a sibling. He has always been a child that could play easily by himself, or with neighborhood friends, which he had plenty of!
I think our life has been truly blessed by this only child of ours. The three of us (DS, DH and I) are so close... one was the perfect choice for us!
I think our life has been truly blessed by this only child of ours. The three of us (DS, DH and I) are so close... one was the perfect choice for us!