Miscarriage

A

amhess

Cathlete
Hi all,
I joined the site a couple of weeks ago quite excited with a due date in January. I just miscarried this last weekend. :( The last 4 days were really rough, but I'm getting through it day by day. I started spotting and cramping and was in for an ultrasound on Monday. I was supposed to be 8 weeks and the ultrasound showed it only measuring as 5 weeks and 2 days and no heartbeat. My HCG level was 3400 and should have been 10,0000. I finally had excruciating cramps on Tuesday and it happened Tuesday night. My levels yesterday were 1900, so that has confirmed things for the Dr. and I'll go in next week for one last blood test.

I'm wondering if anyone else has gone through this and if you've had successful pregnancies after your miscarriage? I'm sure many people do, but I'm having a hard time of things right now, wondering why. I've read that it's safe to start trying after 1-2 normal periods. I appreciate any advice in getting through this ordeal.

Thanks
Anne
 
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I too have been there and know what you are going through and it is very painful (emotionally and physically). I was 13 weeks pregnant and stood up off the couch and started pouring blood. My DH rushed me to the ER and they did an ultrasound and couldn't find the heartbeat and said the baby had stopped growing around 8 weeks. They gave me the option of a D&C but said there was a small possibility that the baby might still be alive and they just couldnt find the heartbeat (no such luck). I chose to go home and 3 weeks later while getting out of my car my water broke and I went through a full, hard labor, just to end up having to have a D&C b/c I didn't pass everything. It was one of the worst experiences of my life and it truly was as emotionally draining as losing any loved one.
I wrote all of this with good news at the end to help encourage you- I just gave birth to a beautiful, healthy, gorgeous baby boy this monday 6/12/06! There is a light at the end of the tunnel. My doc told me that 2 out 3 women will experience miscarriage, most just are too early to know, and will go on to experience a perfectly healthy pregnancy.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You will never forget this experience, but grow and learn from it and it will get easier with time.
Heather
 
Heather,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I too am sorry for your loss, but happy for your new little one! It gives me hope. Thanks for the encouragement.

I'm hoping the bleeding stops soon. The Dr said it may take a week and that I shouldn't need a D&C. I really don't want to go thru a D&C. Can I assume if I passed the tissue (little one) already that the rest will happen naturally as well and be done within the week?

Anne
 
Anne,

I am so sorry about your loss. It is such a painful and unexplained thing- that you have every right to feel lost and confused right now. I had two miscarriages, one at 14 weeks and a d&c, and one at about 7 weeks. I went through 7 medicated cycles for infertility (found out it was male infertility)and finally went through IVF. I now am 20 weeks with twins and all is good...

I have learned from the this long journey is that 1- it does pass;
2-everything happens for a reason; 3-it makes you stronger and more compassionate as a woman and 4-you are not alone.

You are not alone, there are many of us who understand your pain and are here for in spirit with your journey. Take it easy on yourself.

You will know when you are ready to try again. Give yourself time to heal and take care of yourself no matter what. Good things WILL happen. I will be thinking about you and wishing you the very best.

Jenni
 
Hi Anne,

I'm so sorry about your loss. I had a miscarriage right at 8 weeks las Halloween. The night before I had some spotting, so the dr had me come in for an ultrasound - there was nothing there - literally nobody there. It was a "blighted ovum" - just the sac, but no baby. Then I went home and had terrible cramps all evening that were like a mini-labor. The bleeding lasted for 4 days. I went in to have my hcg levels checked 3 times until they were under 5 to make sure there wasn't any remaining tissue.

I am now 1 month pregnant :) My dr said the only reason to wait a month or two before TTC after a "clean" m/c was to be able to predict the due date w/more accuracy.

Miscarriages are incredibly common - something I didn't know until I had mine. I was actually very angry that the rate of at least 1 in 3 pregnancies ending this way did not seem to be discussed much - I felt very unprepared and uneducated about it (and I like to be both). But, one m/c is not a predictor of another and you should try again when you feel ready. Exercising is the best way to cleanse your system of the hormones and this will help you feel better emotionally. I was already a cathe addict, but after my m/c I was a certifiable cathe nut.

Good luck to you and feel better. We're all here for you :)
arancini
 
I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks at the end of last August. I ovulated on October 1st and was able to get pregnant then. I am being induced on this Tuesday. My sister in law miscarried in November at 13 weeks and she is now pregnant again and due in October. There is hope!

Good Luck to you.

Rachel
 
anne, i just wanted to extend my condolences as well. loss is such a hard hard thing, and i admire you for sharing your experience. i think lots of us (myself esp) will learn from your experience. i wish you speedy healing physically, and i hope you recieve all the support you need as you go thru this time.
 
Thank you to everyone for sharing. I didn't realize how common it was either until talking to friends, family and all of you. I really appreciate your support and hope to be talking babies again soon. We're excited to start in Aug-Sept again and hope for the best.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. My dh has always been caring, but this really showed me how much he really loves me and this has brought us even closer than we already are. He's done everything he can think of to try to make this easier on me. People have teased him and said, 'now you treat her well through this tough time, but they tend to forget that the husband had gone through a loss as well. I'm doing my best to support him as well.
Thanks
Anne
 
Anne-
There is hope for children! Way back in the 60's when medicine was so much less advanced than today my mom had 3 miscarrages but somehow ended up w/ 3 darling daughters at the end of all the ordeal!
I worked w/ a lady who was told by 3 different docs she would never conceive..... I just went to her boys 10 year birthday!
You are loved and not alone!
Take as much time to process your experience as you need... and you will know when you and DH are ready to try again.
 
Oh Anne I am sooo sorry for your loss. I cannot relate but my heart bleeds for you. Just know that it is very common, unfortunately, but to look at it as nature's way of saying, this one's not quite right so we'll do it again and get it just right. Protecting you.
I hope that came out right ;-) XOXOXO

Heather, your story made me cry! I am so sorry.

Love to you both and have a wonderful weekend.

Mommy to Hannah Lilly born 3/25/05
 
I remember when I went through this that I was told by my mother and mother in law that later on I would be able to use my experience to help others. It was hard to believe it then, but it is the truth, it is very helpful to have someone that has experienced what you are experiencing to encourage you. You will come through this as well and be an inspiration and encouragement to another young lady. Good luck and all the best wishes!
Thanks Curly for the sympathy, it was a very hard time! But as I was always told the darkest part of the night is right before dawn!
heather
 
I'm SOOOO sorry. It's hard to lose that hope you wanted so badly. I too have had a mc, in December of 2004. It was very emotionally hard for me as we had been ttc for 6 months or so. I ovulated late, and was pregnant with my daughter Miriam 2 cycles later. I hope you heal well and thoroughly. Many women find themselves quite fertile after a mc, so keep your chin up. Feel free to post for emotionally support anytime :)
 
Hi Anne,

I am so sorry for your loss. It is truly a heart wrenching experience.

I had two kids without any problems. My third pregnancy I miscarried at 16 weeks, and my 4th pregnancy I miscarried at 8 weeks. After waiting several years, I had my 3rd son. He is quite a bit younger than his brothers, but we are so fortunate to have him in our lives. Never give up. There is always hope.

Diana
 
Hi Anne,

I know this post is a little old, but I still wanted to reply. I had a miscarriage in March of 2005 and it was the most devastating thing I have experienced. It was my first pregnancy and of course we were so thrilled. I was 10 weeks along when I lost the baby, and needless to say we were crushed. I just wanted to tell you to hang in there!!! Things will get better each day. Let your body (and heart) heal then you can try again soon. I miscarried in March and was pregnant by May. Our beautiful daughter, Mackenzie Faith was born in February of this year. So, I have complete faith that you can have a healthy pregnancy and little one just like I did.

Best wishes!

Rebecca
:)
 
Thanks for your story Rebecca. I really appreciate everyone making this just a little easier to handle. My husband and I moved to Iowa a year ago and I don't have a lot of close friends yet. It's been tough going through this with my family not here, but this forum has made it much easier.

Feeling better now and we're ready to try again. Hoping it happens soon.

Beautiful name for your daughter by the way. I especially like Faith.
Anne
 
Hi Anne -

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I too suffered a miscarriage - our first pregnancy after 2.5 years of trying. Our doctor said to wait 3 months so we did but I have heard of people trying after a month or two without a problem. Chinese medicine (i did herbs/acupuncture) recommends giving your body 6 months to recover, I couldn't wait that long! As it turned out, we got pregnant about 6 months after our loss and I'm at 19 weeks right now. So there is hope! I know several women who have had a loss and gone on to experience a successful pregnancy.

It is hard. I didn't stop really worrying about things until our 18 week ultrasound showed that all was well. I hear this is common for women in our situation. I found no comfort in talking to my mother and friends who hadn't ever had a loss - they do not understand (to no fault of their own!) Just to forewarn you....I can't tell you how many times I heard that things will be fine, all is good, do not worry.

I hope that you take time for yourself to recover - mentally and physically. I really am so very sorry to hear about your loss. Take care and feel free to contact me.
-Kelli
 
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