Loved One Detoxing

endorphin_junkie

endorphin_junkie

Cathlete
Alcoholism ran rampant through my Dad's family, however; he was the only one to make the decision to quit. I've watched sadly as some of my first cousins have walked the same bleary, alcohol soaked path. I got a call last night that one of my cousins, whom I love dearly, made the difficult decision to enter rehab yesterday morning. I am so happy that this has happened and prayed so hard for him last night (I can't begin to imagine the 'dark nights of the soul' he will endure the next few days). I called the detox centre to give him a message this morning and will 'loan' him my Dad's AA one year medallion to hang on to for strength until he gets his own. I want to write him a letter and wondered if any of you brave souls in recovery or people who have supported loved one's in the early days of recovery had any words of wisdom to share with me. At the very least if you could pray for my dear cousin Rob, he needs all the strength he can get. Thanks everyone:)

Take Care
Laurie
 
Laurie,

((((Hugs)))) to you, I will keep you and your cousin in my prayers. He has made the first step towards recovering by entering a rehab center. It's wonderful that you are there to support him.

Jenn
 
Detoxing and giving up a "friend" which is what an addict sometimes thinks of his substance of choice is traumatic and scary-almost as scary as still using the substance. Praying and being there for him is everything. Support from clean and sober folks who have been there done that is also important.
I know when I had my own struggle with drugs and a divorce from an abusive marriage all at once (back in my 20's) I got "clean" by going cold turkey in my friends house. She had 10 years of sobriety and understood the process. It was hell at first, but like they say, "one day at a time". Having her there during that period meant the world to me, she was my pillar, could not have done either without her.
I had to hit my own very personal rock bottom before I finally woke up and realized either I stop or eventually I die. Everyone's rock bottom is different. Understanding this is important as well.

All my best to you and your cousin, and of course you are in my prayers.:)
 
Oh, Laurie! Rob is lucky to have you. I lost my closest cousin about 6 weeks ago - he had a drug addiction. I so hoped that he would get help and get on a good path, but it wasn't meant to be. It broke my heart because he was one of the sweetest people you'd ever want to meet; he was looking to escape from something and I could never figure out what. I will pray for you and Rob - I truly hope he's successful in his effort to break this addiction.

Love,
Liz
 
Hopefully Aquajock will read this. She has been there and back. And she has been sober for I beilive20 years!


[font color=red][font size=+2]Judy "Likes2bfit"[/font]
 
Judy, I'm hoping that Annette will see this as well, her strength and no BS perspective are such a valuable resource here in so many different ways.

I really wish my Dad was here to support his nephew but I know that he is with him in spirit.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers everyone!

Take Care
Laurie:)
 
Laurie,
I think a letter would be appropriate and appreciated, and loaning him the medallion for strength sounds like an excellent idea.

I had one good friend go through AA, and she sort of dropped off for a bit and needed to handle things in her way, mostly privately. It was such a relief when she finally sought help as our circle of friends was just about to forge an "intervention."

Best of luck to Rob - thoughts & prayers comin' north!

~Cathy http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif

"Out on the roads there is fitness and self-discovery and the persons we were destined to be." -George Sheehan
 
I work in the criminal justice system with people who have substance abuse problems and I coordinate their treatment program.

Right now, it is all about the support system. How long will Rob be staying at his treatment facility? Is he there simply for detox, or is he staying for a full 30 day program?

He definitely needs to get hooked up with AA -- there are meeting everywhere and at every time of day. I recommend that one he is released from treatment, he do 90 meetings in 90 days. You can look up the AA hotline in your phone book and they will send you the most recent schedule of meetings. Also, he should look into getting a sponsor.

He is really lucky to have you and others around him who care about his recovery. Good luck!
 
((((Laurie))))

I am praying for your cousin to find the strength in himself to deal with this disease.

You hang in there, too! Take care of yourself.
 
I have been sober 14 years. I started my road to recovery in detox also. He is likely going to hate detox, it's not a fun experience. Make sure to tell him he will NEVER have to go through it again if he stays sober. I remember those first days when getting up in the morning knowing that I would have to get through the whole day without booze was almost more than I could handle. Small steps here.

Getting into a good AA group is also very important now. He will need to talk to others that have faced the same challenges, and learn how they did it. The reason AA works so well is that you can see and hear how it is done....one alcoholic to another. No one that has not been though this can understand it totally.

As far as hitting rock bottom goes, there isn't any bottom. This disease is a bottomless pit. Don't give him any reason to think he has not hit it yet.

Here's a quote I remember from the early days. I remember who I heard from, but have no idea where he got it.

"We as alcoholics live forever in the shadow of tragedy. Enternal vigilance (sp?) is the price we pay for our sobriety".

It's a daily (hourly, minutely) struggle in the beginning. It gets soooooo much easier with time.


Jeanine

We find beauty in the most incomprehensible places and the otherwise homely faces. It is our gift to see beyond the dirt, terror, sadness and defeat and find the true soul that lies within. We are Rescue.
www.cfgdr.org
 
I just talked to my cousin's ex-wife and she spoke with him today. He didn't sleep much last night but was feeling okay (at best) and firm in his conviction to see this through, he's not keeping food down well though. There are AA meeting within the detox facility and he went to his first one today. Our prayers are working!! Thanks so much for your kindness everyone.

Katie, he's in this detox facility for 5 days, after they have assessed him, he will be re-located for 30 days to a facility suited to his needs. Ninety meetings in 90 days....thanks for that. My Dad was in AA for the last 20 years of his life but was truly anonymous about it. Inasmuch as we went to AA open house every New Year's Day and I went to Alateen I know precious little about the programme.

Jeanine, thanks you so much for sharing that poignant quote. I will certainly be sharing this with Rob.

Thanks again everyone:*

Take Care
Laurie
 
Hey, Laurie! Props and hugs to you for staying tight with your cousin. Many people who are addicted to alcohol and/or other drugs have very little, if any, emotional support around them.

I totally agree with the need for a 30-day in-patient program; thankfully there are still such programs out there. I also agree with the 90-meetings-in-90-days system when one is new to sobriety. Although that was not the path I myself followed (and yes, as someone else noted earlier in this thread, I celebrated 20 years of sobriety this past July), I saw the value of the "immersion" program many times.

However - do bear in mind that this is his process and no one else's. It's very tempting for loving family members to circle around the addict and what starts out as "supporting" and "helping" in fact become smothering and at times trying to do the addict's work for him/her. (I'm speaking from long bitter experience with a sibling here.) This is probably stuff you've already heard from your Alateen days, but I think it bears repeating.

I also think that you, and all your cousin's family members, need to maintain your boundaries of acceptable behavior from your cousin, whether he's sober or using. I saw many, many times when I did attend fellowship meetings that recovering addicts felt entitled to be treated like hothouse orchids by friend, family and general public because they were Recovering From The Disease Of Addiction. Hopefully, this detox will take root and your cousin will go on to live a long, responsible sober life. Whether or not that happens, neither you nor your family should tolerate any addict or post-addict sh*t.

Keeping my fingers crossed for your cuz and for you!

A-Jock
 
Annette, much food for thought here, thank you. I admit that at first I was disappointed that I couldn't visit him today but when I thought about it, it makes perfect sense. This is his experience to weather and the less distraction from the gritty reality of it, the better. He has shovelled out more $h!t in the past 10 years than I thought humanly possible but, my God, when he's sober he's brilliant! You are too right that it's tempting to treat him with kid gloves but I do feel that his decision to get sober doesn't negate accountability for his behaviours. Having said that, I can't wait to give him a big old hug!! Thanks again!

Take Care
Laurie
 
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