karenvictoria
Cathlete
Just a quick evening post to say I'm still BREATHING. Tomorrow we will know after her visit if the cancer has spread and how bad. Her face is still very swollen on the one side which is the side she did not fall on and she is losing weight every day. She is very clear somedays and not others. I have to stay off the internet and stop trying to see what her symptoms mean because it's making me crazy. All signs point to secondary brain cancer, not to mention the bone cancer and the outcome for that is 4-7 months. Crying again. Her cerebral spinal tap results will be in tomorrow. Dad is a mess. I'm a mess. She goes to the urologist tomorrow too. Hopefully all the stones are gone. I'm in my pissed phase because they said the cancer wasnt' that bad and now in two months things have gone so BAD. I don't understand and never will the make up of the human body. I know this summer they found the spots on the back and skull but they said over and over again that they caught it early. I'm pissed I believed them. Please take all my emotional baggage with a grain of salt. Very sensitive right now and I may be coming off like a B!!tch
The kids and I had a heart to heart cry fest today. I told them what was happening and that mommy is thinking that mom mom may not hold on and to be prepared. I don't know what else to do. I want hope like I had but to see it with your own eyes is heartbreaking. Dh is so great. Thank God I have him. He really is a life presever for me right now.
I had a terrrible weekend. Crying on and off all day long. Had a big heart to heart with my one sis who is now going to come over once a week and visit mom. I'm so happy about that. She apparently was not aware how severe moms health was. I hate to say it but she didn't care to know and I set her staight today. She was getting bits and peices of info and then leaving town on business and so forth. She felt so much guilt and I told her to suck it up and go put on a happy face and start from scratch. My other sister who I got into the fight with I still haven't talked to but she is still calling mom. I'm keeping peace for my parents sake but honestly if I could kick her A@@ I would. Sorry but right now my emotions are all over the board. My oldest sister is sending her dd up who went to college this fall for Thanksgiving. I wanted to do Thanksgiving but she won't let anyone. So sister said, "How about if her dd comes up to help pop and then my mom can tell them what to do." She liked that idea.
Ok, thanks for thinking of me all of you. I feel your prayers and pray for answers. I'm so drained.
I miss the old me and dont' know how to find her again just yet. I hope I do find her but she is lost right now.
The kids and I had a heart to heart cry fest today. I told them what was happening and that mommy is thinking that mom mom may not hold on and to be prepared. I don't know what else to do. I want hope like I had but to see it with your own eyes is heartbreaking. Dh is so great. Thank God I have him. He really is a life presever for me right now.
I had a terrrible weekend. Crying on and off all day long. Had a big heart to heart with my one sis who is now going to come over once a week and visit mom. I'm so happy about that. She apparently was not aware how severe moms health was. I hate to say it but she didn't care to know and I set her staight today. She was getting bits and peices of info and then leaving town on business and so forth. She felt so much guilt and I told her to suck it up and go put on a happy face and start from scratch. My other sister who I got into the fight with I still haven't talked to but she is still calling mom. I'm keeping peace for my parents sake but honestly if I could kick her A@@ I would. Sorry but right now my emotions are all over the board. My oldest sister is sending her dd up who went to college this fall for Thanksgiving. I wanted to do Thanksgiving but she won't let anyone. So sister said, "How about if her dd comes up to help pop and then my mom can tell them what to do." She liked that idea.
Ok, thanks for thinking of me all of you. I feel your prayers and pray for answers. I'm so drained.
I miss the old me and dont' know how to find her again just yet. I hope I do find her but she is lost right now.