Liars/Fabricators

[divagirl]

Has anyone had a close friend or significant other fabricate stories over stupid stuff only for you to find out a week or two later that it was a lie?
Does this indicate the person is simply not to be trusted? I'm talking stupid things not major lies and does that mean the person will lie about bigger things?

 

[TeTe]

I have a cousin who tells lies about everything! If it would be easier to tell the truth, she'd still lie. And all of our family knows it. She's been doing it since we were kids, and now, as an adult with grown children, she still does it. I honestly have no idea when she tells a story if any part of it is true.

I think lying when there is no reason is almost worse than a big one to cover your a$$. At least there is the motivation to not get in trouble or not hurt someone. But to lie for the sheer enjoyment of lying? Yeah, I think they'd lie over big stuff. And, really, could you blame anyone for never trusting this person again?

 

[Rose11]

Hmm, that one is a toughie. Lots of people make up stories because they think their life is not as interesting. I don't take that stuff too personally. Would I trust a person like that? I've never even thought about it. Would a person like that lie about bigger things? Depends on what you found out. If it's a lie that involves more than one person e.g. "I was at my cousin's" and that turned out to be "I was at with one of my cousin's friends" then that person would probably lie about bigger things. If it is "I can't go out today I'm going out of town for the weekend" and that turned out to be "I'm going out of town to Blockbuster to rent some movies and stay home" then that's not a big deal. When it comes to trusting others you have to listen to your gut feelings, if you feel weird with someone or when you catch that someone in a lie (even if it is stupid) and you feel weird afterwards then you probably shouldn't trust that person. I would prefer someone that doesn't lie, but that's wishful thinking.

 

[TXGin]

My college roommate had trouble telling the truth. I really don't think many people knew she wasn't truthful unless they were very close to her. She is, and was very pretty, and I guess convincing, so people must have given her the benefit of the doubt. It was tough to live with and when I confronted her she was very defensive. I think it stemmed from an insecurity problem in childhood that just became a habit. Somehow we are still friends, but don't live in the same city. I still have trouble believing some of the things she says.
Does that help in your situation?

Gin

 

[sblordita]

Yes, I have an entire portion of my family that is like that. They'll lie over anything, big or small. Even things as stupid as what the temperature is going to be tomorrow. They just have to lie. And no, I don't trust them, nor will I ever. I was also involved with a man who I'm beginning to find out is a great liar. It took a few years for me to really begin to see how he really is.

My opinion is that it's no longer worth my time trying to create friendships or relationships with people like that. The trouble they can get you in is amazing, and I guarantee they will manage to wreck your other relationships with their lies. Why would you want to have a conversation with someone when you know there's an 80% chance what they're saying is completely false? Not to mention also that people like this usually have other deep-seeded issues that will most likely come back to haunt the relationship.

I remember my parents coming home recently after purchasing a new car. My mom was FUMING because my dad wasn't capable of playing the slime-game with the salesmen: he couldn't lie and he couldn't spew any bull to get a better deal. I, in turn, got mad at her and told her she should feel like the luckiest woman on earth that her spouse is completely incapable of being dishonest!!!

In case you haven't noticed, I have no respect for liars

Sara

 

[seeking_guns]

Divagirl,

Lying is one thing I have absolutely no tolerance for, so I'd consider it a red flag if someone I knew continually lied about trivial matters. In my experience, it usually means they can and may or will lie about anything and everything.